Shattered
by Khaotik Mined
Summary: Autumn is searching for her brother. When she leaves everything behind, she doesn't expect to find more. Reworked and rewritten. See Chap 1 for more info. Rated T for language, may move to M down the road. I own absolutely none of Walking Dead. With the exception of my OCs in the story, everything belongs to the brilliant Frank Darabount. Please read and review. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**So I had this story up. I liked it at first but struggled when I hit later Chapters. I went through and edited some of the story. Added some details, took out some characters, that kind of thing. Please read through and review. I hope to have Chapter 17 up sometime tomorrow. To the ones that have followed/favorited this story so far - Thank you! It means a lot to me. **

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The gravel crunches softly beneath the tires as the hunter green Jeep Cherokee came to a slow stop on the side of the abandoned highway. In the silence, Autumn Jones can hear the hot, Georgian wind rustle the leaves. I lazily turn my exhausted emerald eyes to the rearview mirror. A sleeping teenage boy with light brown hair is sprawled out in the cargo area. He doesn't even move as I shut the engine off. A warm, clammy hand covers mine and turns my attention to the tall, lanky man seated next to me.

"You guys stay put." Jameson Bennett lazily motions to the sleeping form. "I don't need any of your vigilante BS. Knowing how you operate, you'll shoot one of us instead of the dead." He chuckles as he kicks open his door slowly and pulls out the small handgun he had in the seat beside him. His brother joins him from the backseat.

Jimmy and Isaiah are polar opposites. Isaiah is 27 years old, medium build with a long brown beard and light brown shaggy hair. He's at home in nature. He's taught my son Eli. how to hunt, fish and clean whatever they come up with. His signature camouflage baseball cap perched on his head. Jimmy is 30 years old, tall and lanky. He has gentle gray eyes and dirty blond hair that he keeps short. He used to be a high school English teacher. He often helps with Eli's lessons.

This trip has been beyond difficult. No one has been lost luckily. I'm not even sure why I insisted on traveling across country like this. Thomas may not even be alive at this point. I'm struggling to maintain my sanity while thinking of all the horrific possibilities. At first, no one wanted to join my apocalyptic road trip. Hell, half the time I questioned this trip more than anyone. I found myself wondering if this suicide mission was just something to do; something that kept me occupied while the world went to hell.

Shortly after the news reports of people falling to this illness and attacking others, I talked to Tommy. He tried to reassure me that Atlanta was a safe zone. Then the reports worsened. Entire neighborhoods fell to mass panic and whatever the disease was; it spread like wildfire. Eventually the newscasts and radio stories stopped coming. There was just an eerie silence.

My ex, Mason Callahan and his wife, Rachel moved to my little hometown over a year before the dead rose. We happily shared joint custody of Eli. Convincing Mason and Rachel to join this little trip had been particularly difficult. We argued for at least three weeks before Mason agreed. My next door neighbors Jimmy and Isaiah volunteered to join us after they had lost their older brother to the disease early on. Jimmy's been my best friend since grade school. He's someone I can lean on for support, even when my insane ideas could lead to major trouble.

We take turns sleeping & watching for the Dead. We haven't seen another moving vehicle since the trip started. Jimmy has kept the routes creative; stopping often, moving only during the day so that we attracted the least amount of attention. We scavenged for food and supplies in small towns and forests. Chicago roads were impassable. After passing several highway graveyards, we decided to keep to the back roads. Weeks of struggling on the road and we were now several miles outside of Atlanta.

Mason, Jimmy and Isaiah head slowly down the sloping shoulder to the line of trees a few feet away. I lay my head back and enjoy the peace while waiting for them to return. This trip has been exhausting and my intense need to keep moving didn't help. The group needs a break, sometime to relax and have human moments. My eye lids are growing heavy when the guys return. They had found a place, just ahead. We moved the vehicles off the road, into the trees and pulled into an open clearing.

When camp is set up at last, Mason builds a low fire that everyone gathers around. It is a peaceful night. No Dead attacks. We even enjoy when Jimmy breaks out his guitar and plays. It feels good to have moments like this, moments when reality is a distant pain, moments where it doesn't seem so bleak. They are rare and precious.

Rachel and I agree to drive in the morning if the guys take shifts watching the camp overnight. I head to the large tent I share with Eli. Sleep doesn't come easily. I lie awake in my tent, staring through the window at the sky. The quiet night outside the tent doesn't help me fall asleep. It's not necessarily the quiet; it's the reason behind the quiet. It's almost suffocating. Out here, the reality of what causes that quiet and stillness lingers in the air, it creeps over you and even the cold doesn't make you shiver like that.

As the sun rises over the trees, I abandon my attempt to sleep all together. After Eli wakes up and joins Isaiah for a small gathering trip, I set to work on tearing down camp with Jimmy. I want to get back on the road and have no interest in breakfast or anything else that will delay us. Rachel busies herself making breakfast I help Mason and Jimmy load everything into the two vehicles. Rachel is a meek woman. I have doubts about Rachel's mental state during this trip. We are about the same height Rachel was skin and bones compared to my curvy frame. Rachel has soft brown eyes and long reddish brown hair. She has been great for Mason; helped him calm down quite a bit. She's also taken in Eli as if he were her own child. She never stepped on my toes or intrudes. We aren't close by any means but there is no animosity or awkwardness.

As I close the trunk of Masons' Chevy Lumina, a blaring sound echoes through the trees. Jimmy and I freeze momentarily at the sound of a car horn before creeping up toward the road to investigate. A red sports car flies by our hiding spot in the brush. It rounds a curve and disappears from view, the sound still bouncing around the campsite. Mason joins us.

"What is going on out here?" growls Mason through his teeth.

"Some red car flew by with an alarm blaring. We better move and fast. That's gonna wake the Dead. Looks like breakfast is take out this morning." Jimmy pulls my arm trying to get me to return to camp.

"We should follow that guy?" I whisper. The guys shoot me a puzzled look.

"Did you hit your head? Are you insane?" Jimmy almost yells. "He could be just as dangerous as he is stupid."

"Yeah but we're headed that way anyway, maybe he is staying around here. Or at the very least we can ensure sure that the road ahead is clear, we will hear that guy without having to see him." I argue as we make our way back toward camp. We step carefully through the trees trying to ensure our presence goes unnoticed by whatever may be hiding in the woods.

When we return to camp, Isaiah and Eli have returned. Eli hands me a bottle of water and some food before climbing into the Jeep to wait. Isaiah instantly balks at my suggestion and the group debates following the car for a little while.

"All right, we'll follow him. But, we do it at a distance and without attracting attention." Mason relents.

We hurry to get back on the road. Just as I climb in the driver seat and close the door, a 2nd vehicle speeds past. This one is a cube van. We slowly pull out on the road. I can still hear the alarm in the distance. That is the one benefit of the silence, sound echoes when it actually does exist.


	2. Chapter 2

The car and the cube van veer off the main highway onto a gravel drive that leads to a quarry. We slow to a stop where the vehicles disappeared from the road. Mason jumps out of his car and walks to my open window. We debate for some time on whether to follow the vehicles or move along. Both sides have valid arguments – safety, survival, uncertainty; all more serious issues in this new world. Finally Jimmy and Isaiah volunteer to follow the vehicles on foot. The two of them are easier to hide and pose less of a risk. Both men grab weapons and creep off down the road, sticking to the tree lined area for camouflage.

The wait for their return is drawn out. I sit with Eli in the front of the jeep listening to one of the few CD's that we had in the car. We keep the volume low to avoid attracting attention. Almost 20 minutes later, Isaiah and Jimmy emerge from the gravel drive. They return with excitement in their faces. I casually watch the animated discussion as Jimmy fills Mason in on whatever they found. Mason looks torn at whatever decision they are leaving up to him. He returns to the Jeep to enthusiastically fill in the rest of the group.

"Apparently these guys have a camp up the road. They've invited us to stay with their group for a few days to rest." His enthusiasm is not contagious. A sense of fear rolls over me. Most of society is gone. No one knows who survived and who didn't. What's to say that evil people don't exist anymore? My hesitation is obvious.

"What? You're the one that suggested this in the first place." He whines.

"I don't know. They don't know us, they don't know if we're lying or not and they're just letting us roll on in there? That's either stupid, brave or they're planning something. How do we know we can trust them?" I glance at Eli.

"So you had us waste our entire morning to follow this lead and not finish it out? You're unbelievable sometimes. You have no faith." Mason's frustration is irritating.

"I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is we need to be cautious. Keep weapons on you; keep your eyes open, that kind of thing. We walk up to their camp after following them and they say we can stay, done deal, no questions? It sounds fishy. Just sayin" My defenses are high. I had faith; I had it most of my miserable life and all it ever did was get mehere.

"We can be cautious. We can take this slow. We can do all of that if it helps you sleep tonight." Mason's voice drops as he hints toward the bags haunting my eyes. With no response, I start the car and wait for everyone to get in before following Mason's car toward the camp.

The vehicles reach a clearing near the quarry. There has to be at least twenty or more people standing near the entrance, kids, men & women staring at us. A dark haired man in a blue work shirt directs Mason to park off to the side of the camp. I wait for Jimmy and Isaiah to get out first and follow close behind with Eli.

"Hi there," an older man with a bucket hat breaks the awkward silence. "I'm Dale. Where did you all come from?"

"Wisconsin." I answer.

"Wow, that's a distance. Was it a tough trip?" The dark-haired man asks.

"Aren't they all tough trips now?" Jimmy quips. He's on edge. "Name is Jimmy by the way." The dark-haired man laughs and shakes his head in agreement. He holds out his hand to Jimmy.

"I'm Shane." The rest of the campers come up and introductions are made. My head spins with the information overload.

After setting up camp, we join the group for dinner. Shane builds a low fire that we gather around. Dale makes conversation easy between the two groups. He tells stories of his life before all this mess. He talks about his wife and how he met the two sisters, Amy & Andrea. There is genuine affection there. This is nothing inappropriate or creepy. He just gives me that feeling that he truly cares for them.

Another newcomer, Rick, tells the group how he woke up in the hospital, oblivious to what had happened. My mind wanders. Would that be easier than all of this? Being so completely oblivious to the fact that everyone you know and love may be dead or not so dead. Avoiding the hopeless news broadcasts growing substantially worse day by day.

It is a miracle he found his family. It gives me hope that I might find Thomas yet.

The conversation turns to the day's events; what had happened in town. They apparently had to leave someone, named Merle behind. From the stories the group swaps, I think the guy got what he deserved. They keep mentioning his brother and how he is going to take the news when he gets back from his hunting trip.

Suddenly a wave of warmth hits rushes up from behind and the light roars brighter. Shane gets up slowly but with purpose and walks over to the other campfire. He bends low to talk to Ed. I can't make out what they are talking about, but it is easy to see that Shane is frustrated and that Ed is an ass. Ed's wife, Carol shifts uneasily on her rock. Finally Ed mumbles something to Carol and she takes a log off the fire. Shane returns to our circle.

Mason explains where we are headed and why. He stops there and doesn't elaborate. I am grateful for his protective nature sometimes. Rick looks at me with understanding and confirmation that he agrees with my journey. His wife, Lori looks at me, Mason and Rachel. She isn't skeptical like most were when the see how close we are. She actually looks almost envious. Eli yawns and stretches out next to me.

"Ready to turn in?" I ask as I ruffle his hair. He nods and stands up to walk back to the tents with Mason.

Isaiah sits down next to me. "We're going to split shifts between Mason & me. You get some sleep, please." He gives me a meaningful look.

I shrug him off, get up and stretch. As I head to my tent, I hear footsteps fall in next to mine. It is Shane. He was quiet during Mason's story.

"Mind if I ask you a personal question?" He asks.

"Only if you don't mind that I won't answer if it's too personal" I answer skeptically.

"Does it bother you to be traveling with Mason & Rachel? Is it hard?" He asks.

"It's not ideal by any means. But we have Eli and right now, we're all we have left. Sometimes it doesn't matter what we're feeling, it's about what needs to be done. Ya know?" I shrug my shoulders indifferently.

"Thanks." Shane says as he walked back toward the fire. I'm not sure if he meant it or was being sarcastic.

I lie back on my pillow close my eyes. It is quiet again but not as still. The air buzzes with energy, people are breathing and living around us, the stench of Dead is gone, even if for just tonight. I actually almost enjoy it. I still can't sleep. My mind is racing.

I wake the next morning feeling slightly better than I had in awhile. I still didn't sleep as well as I should have, but it is an improvement over the last 6 weeks. I crawl out of my tent, leaving Eli sound asleep in the tent. There's a morning chill in the air and the camp is quiet. Mason is sitting at the fire with Shane. They aren't talking, just enjoying the peace. I grab a sweatshirt and join them.

"Morning, Sleep well?" Mason whispers as I sit down next to him.

I smile slightly and change the subject. "It's a peaceful morning."

"I don't expect it to last too long. Daryl is due back today and he's going to be pissed when he finds out about Merle." Shane says matter of fact like.

"Doesn't sound like anyone should be mad he was left behind but I get it. The whole reason we're driving cross country is on the slight chance my brother is alive. It's hard, the not knowing." Mason looks at me like I have just given some monumental speech. I don't think he is expecting me to open up like that.

"Yeah, well Daryl isn't going to be as calm as you are about it." Shane smiles. We sit there quietly, waiting for the rest of camp to wake up. I watch Eli step out of the tent and head over to us. He looks so much like his father at times but he towers over the both of us already.

"Hey kid, wanna help start breakfast?" Mason asks. He is such a good dad. It is part of the reason we are able to get along so well. They walk over toward Mason's tent.

"So, you guys split up a while ago?" Shane asks.

"No disclaimer this time hu?" I smirk. "Yeah, when Eli was 10. I met someone else a year later. He met Rachel about 6mths later." I explain.

Shane just looks at me. I know he can tell that I'm not going into details. It is a sore subject. We sit in silence for a few more minutes.

"So what's with the curiosity?" I finally ask. I had to break the silence. "Didn't anyone tell you about the dangers of curiosity?"

"It's an unusual situation is all" he looks uncomfortable at my attempt to turn the tables.

"Aren't all of our situations unusual now? Nothing is normal anymore." I counter.

"I guess. I'm going to start waking up some of the guys to get the day going. You ok here?" He asks as he stands up to walk away.

"Yeah. I'm great Deputy." I dismiss him.


	3. Chapter 3

When everyone is awake and fed, I start to notice that their group has really settled in here. The campers have daily chores and a routine. Carol is working on laundry with Amy. Some of the guys are striping the red car that Glenn drove back for parts and gas. Poor Glenn looks destroyed. People are cleaning, cooking and going about their daily routines.

Jimmy sneaks up behind me as I'm cleaning out the dirt and leaves from our tent. His face is still covered with the imprint of his sleeve that must have doubled as a pillow cover. I smile at him warmly. We have been friends since the day my parents moved in next door. There has never been anything awkward or unrequited between us. We are truly just friends and it is comfortable.

"Hey stranger, how'd you sleep?" he asks.

"Better than any other night since we hit the road, you?" I lie as we walk over to the fire pits and sit down for a few minutes

"It was a nice night. I felt a little safer than usual." He shrugs. "So what do you think?" he gestures around to the camp

"It's nice to have people around. I mean real people. I love you guys and all but it's nice to be surrounded. Makes it feel like this whole nightmare could get better, ya know?" I answer.

"Yeah, I think that's called hope." I swat at him for the sarcasm.

A piercing scream brakes off our banter. It comes from the direction that Eli had walked with Carl and Sophia just a few minutes before. They burst back into camp clearly shaken up. A few of the men grab weapons and head off in the direction the kids had just come from. I run to my son and inspect him. He is clearly shaken but not hurt. He explains how they took a walk and came upon a deer that some Walker was feeding on. I take him back toward the RV and get him some water.

I hold my breath as I wait for the guys to return. I can hear voices growing as the group closes in on camp. Someone I don't recognize hits camp first.

"Merle!" He shouts. This must be Daryl. He's rugged and dirty. "MERLE! Come help me with these squirrels!"

I stand up with Eli and we stare at the man stomping through the camp. Shane follows Daryl and explains that Merle didn't return from the run. Daryl whips around looking at the campers; demanding to know if his brother is alive. When Shane can't confirm either way, Daryl is furious. We make eye contact and for a moment, I'm frozen. I'm not scared by him even though everything in my head is screaming I should be. I can't explain the feeling. I can't take my eyes away from his stare.

Rick steps in front of Daryl breaking off the angry man's gaze. Rick introduces himself and starts explaining what happened. Daryl doesn't want to hear it. He starts pacing furiously. Suddenly Daryl throws the dead squirrels he was holding at Rick and lunges. Shane and Rick jump on him to detain him. Rick wrestles Daryl's weapon away from him and Shane grabs him in some kind of hold.

"Choke holds illegal!" Daryl growls.

Shane and Rick tell Daryl, they want to discuss Merle calmly and when he seems to relax a little, they release him. They explain how Merle's behavior put them at risk and he was threatening members of their group. Daryl is livid. He jumps up from the ground and paces for a moment. He suddenly notices the other new faces. He walks over to where I'm standing with Eli.

"Who's this?" He asks abruptly. Eli steps in front of me protectively.

"Chill out kid. I ain't gonna hurt ya. I'm not the one who leaves people handcuffed to rooftops." He sneers in Rick's direction. "Just tell me where you left him, so's I can go get him."

"He'll show you." Lori says, "Right?"

Rick nods, "I'm going back."

Rick walks back to his tent to get ready for the trip back. Shane follows him, clearly agitated by this new development. Daryl picks up his squirrels and heads back to his own tent.

Mason rushes over to Eli and makes sure he's ok. Mason walked up on the tail end of Daryl's outburst. He sees the expression on my face and assumes I'm angry.

"Daryl had a reason to be mad. What if that was Thomas?" Mason tries to calm me down and at the mention of Thomas' name, I soften a bit. I wouldn't want my brother left for dead either. "You good?" Mason asks. Eli leaves us alone for a moment. "If you really feel we should take off, we will. I can't have you losing it here."

"Seriously? Losing it?" The anger that had subsided boils over. "Screw you Mason. I'm not some fragile chick that's going to break." I speak through gritted teeth not wanting to make a scene. I storm over to my Jeep. I lean against the side of the vehicle and take a deep breath. I start kicking the gravel at my feet. I close my eyes for a moment.

The sound of someone approaching lures me out of my moment. I watch as Daryl approaches the cube van, ready to go. His crossbow is slung across his shoulder. He opens the back door and sits on the truck bed. I watch him for a moment without a word. He is obviously pissed off that his brother is gone. I sigh and look back down at my feet. I get why he was mad. The silence is dense and uncomfortable.

"I din't mean to scare your kid, ya know?" He says, still looking the other way.

"He's good, not the scariest thing he's seen in a while." I reply quietly. I push myself off the vehicle and shift my weight.

He just nods in agreement. We go back to our silence which isn't as unsettling as before. In fact, it's almost safe and peaceful. After I'm calm, I head back to camp reluctantly. Mason's watching my every move. I ignore him as I head over to sit by Eli and help him with some of the lessons Jimmy gave him. Rick and Shane are having a heated discussion. Shane doesn't want Rick risking the camp by taking people with him. He is losing his argument, no matter how valid. Rick mentions weapons that he had left in the city. They would be invaluable to the camp. He brings up the fact that they had extra hands on deck with our crew now. Shane is reluctant but nods.

Glenn and T-Dog join the search party. Daryl stands in the cargo area of the cube van as everyone piles in. I catch his eye before he closes the door and that unfamiliar safe feeling washes over me again


	4. Chapter 4

In the heat of the sun, some of the other ladies decide to go down to the water's edge to do laundry. The cool water sounds inviting and we could definitely use some clean clothes. I gather our things and join them. A light-hearted atmosphere settles over us as we work. Jacqui questions the division of labor in the camp as Shane and Carl play in the water nearby. I smile a little thinking about how normal this all seems. For a few minutes, I can almost forget that right outside this quarry, the world is a very different place. While I'm preoccupied, the conversation has turned to the luxuries we miss. We find ourselves laughing at each other.

Ed stands close to the edge of the water. Carole sees him and starts scrubbing the clothing quietly. Andrea turns around to face him.

"Problem, Ed?" She asks him. He grunts out some kind of response that we ignore as we go back to concentrating on our work. Andrea's annoyance with Ed leads to a heated argument.

"Don't think I won't knock you on your ass." Ed threatens. He tells Carol to get her stuff and come with him. She gathers up her laundry and follows him, head down. I recognize the fear on her face and put it together that Ed isn't just an ass, he's a monster.

"So she can show up with fresh bruises later, Ed?" Jacqui asks.

Carol tries to calm Ed down while some of the other girls keep at him. I know this isn't going to end well. Ed slaps Carol across the face with a force meant to hurt her. I cringe. Shane charges toward Ed, grabs him and throws him to the ground. He begins punching Ed repeatedly. He grabs Ed by the shirt and gets in the horrible man's face.

"You put your hands on your wife, your little girl or anybody else in this camp one more time; I will not stop next time." Shane threatens. "I'll beat you to death, Ed."

Carol rushes to her husband's side, comforting him and apologizing. The rest of us watch Shane walk away wiping his hands on his jeans. Andrea questions Carol's reaction. She doesn't get it. She can't.

"She's doing it because it's all she knows; the fear, the submission. It becomes a routine. She's numb." I say solemnly as I walked by. I don't make eye contact and I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I march back to camp and start hanging the laundry on the line I put up next to my tent. Jimmy witnessed the incident down by the lake and heads in my direction. He doesn't say a word, just starts helping me put the clothes out. We work in silence for about 10 minutes before I look down at the ground.

"I'm ok." I tell him.

"I know you are. I just really really really love hanging laundry on the line. I mean, it's my favorite thing in the world to do and when I saw you over here, having all this fun, I couldn't help it. I had to join in." Jimmy says with a deadly serious expression. I roll my eyes at him and laugh. The tension breaks and I ignore the hair on the back of my neck that is standing on end.

For the rest of the day, our group gladly falls into the routine of the camp. We finish chores, prepare meals, sit with the kids teaching them and playing with them. It feels comfortable and safe. The next day, Andrea and Amy come back from a fishing trip loaded with fresh fish to fry up that evening. A worried Dale is talking to Shane by the RV. They are looking at something off in the distance. I follow their gaze, but can't see what has their attention. I ignore them and turn back to my game of cards with Eli.

A while later, I watch shocked as Shane and Dale drag Jim back to camp and tie him to a tree. I tell the boys to stay put and run over to find out what's going on. I stop next to Isaiah and Rachel as the two men finish tying Jim to the tree. Shane explains to Jim that he is going to keep Jim there until he feels it is safe. I respect Shane's reasoning but question his actions. I decide to keep quiet for now.

Jim is apologizing for scaring us all. Lori blames it on sunstroke but I'm not so sure. Dale questions what he was doing. Do we really need to know?

"I had a reason, don't remember what." Jim says. "Something I dreamt."

He starts telling the others about his dream. He says Carl and Rick were there. He asks Carl if he is worried about his dad. I get up and walk back to the table where the kids are doing school work as they continue their conversation. I don't want to hear anymore. Shane cuts off the conversation by asking the kids for help to clean the fish. Eli and Carl jump up to go help him. He looks over at me for approval and I mouth the words "thank you" to him.

Mason sits down at the table next to me. He's obviously in a mood today. I have barely seen him. "Have you been sleeping at all?" he asks. His voice is accusatory and demanding.

"I can't make myself sleep Mase. I try, isn't that enough?" I try to reason with him. I'm in no mood to fight.

"No, it's not. You need rest, you need to be healthy and you can't shut down. Eli needs you." He rushes through. He is sincere and concerned. His constant over protective nature is not what I need right now. His sincerity is sweet but annoying.

"Stop it Mason. Enough ok? Just stop please. Take care of your wife and help me with Eli. I'll worry about being my duties as a mother. I am doing the best I can here. It's not like there was some sort of manual on this. 'Raising Your Teenage Son in the Zombie Apocalypse'" I rage at him. Others are watching; so much for avoiding a scene.

My mind is bursting with everything that has happened in the past week. I let Eli know that I'm heading down to the lake for a few minutes. He hates when Mason and I fight so he nods as he's cleaning the fish.

I sit down on a smooth boulder at edge of the water for some time. I watch the water ripple slowly in the wind when Rachel sits down next to me.

"Mason can be an ass and an idiot but it comes from a good place." She feels the need to defend a guy whose only fault was that he worries too much.

"Rachel, there's no need to explain. I just can't take the little kid treatment. He treats Eli like an adult, why can't he do the same for me? I just wish they would stop worrying." I explain.

"Can I be honest?" She asks. People only say that when they are about to follow up with something no one wants to hear. I wait for her to go on. "They wouldn't worry if you would ask for help or admit when something's bothering you. You have put up walls to protect yourself and I get it. I know what you went through Autumn. You do it to make people go away so you don't get hurt. There's a group here, trying to stay together and trying to stay near the walls you built in case they ever come down. You should accept that and quit pushing. You may feel like you don't need them, but you do. And they need you too. They knew you before you were broken. They only want to help put you back together again. In all honesty, they do it because they know you're a force to be reckoned with when you're whole." I think that's the most she's said to me in the 3 years that her and Mason have been together. I don't answer, I don't want to argue. She is right but I don't want her to be. She finally gets up and walks away, leaving me alone with the shadows in my head.

Eventually, I head back to camp; the smell of food calling me. As I approach, Morales is showing off his new fire pit. It allows us to have a higher flame with more heat but less light. Eli is beaming proudly next to him after helping clean fish and gather rocks. Carol and Sophia join us without Ed. I secretly hope he's in immense pain.

We all settle down next to the fire while we eat our meal. Eli sits on the ground near my legs, just watching the fire. Amy excuses herself to use the bathroom. Dale absent-mindedly winds his watch, while watching the flames dance against the rocks. Morales laughs at him and asks about Dale's need to wind the watch.

Dale pauses a moment and smiles. "I like what, a father said to his son when he gave him a watch that had been handed down through generations. He said 'I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire, which will fit your individual needs no better than it did mine or my father's before me. I give it to you, not that you may remember time, but that you may forget it for a moment now and then and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it.'"

"You're weird." Andrea laughs

"It's not me, it's Faulkner. William Faulkner, well and my bad para-phrasing." Dale says.

"Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life." I chime in. Jimmy nods his approval. We've bonded over Faulkner on more than one occasion. Dale just smiles and puts his head back to enjoy the fire.

The door to the RV bangs open. Amy calls out complaining we are out of toilet paper, her words are cut off by an ear-splitting scream. A walker made it's way around the front of the RV and was now sinking his teeth into the flesh on her arm. Andrea turns in time to see her sister fall to the ground.

All around me, Chaos erupts. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. I grab on to Eli and we start running for the back of the Jeep. I manage to get the hatch open and push my son safely inside, just as one of those things reaches our vehicle. I sink my father's hunting knife into the forehead of the walker and jump inside with Eli. He curls up in a corner, watching the scene outside our windows. It's a live-action horror flick. Something hits the driver side of the vehicle. A walker realizes where we are.

I open the hatch to let Rachel in and jump back out with my knife in hand. Two walkers lurch toward me immediately. Where did they come from? I don't have time to stop and think. I stab one of them in the eye with a sickening sound. I catch the other in his left temple. I hurry toward the bastard still trying to climb in the window of the Jeep and plunge my knife into the back of his skull. My knife is stuck. The body slumps to the ground and I use my foot to hold him still while I attempt to pull the knife from his lifeless body.

Out of nowhere I hear a SWOOSH, THUNK from behind me. I spin around to see a walker with an arrow sticking out of his head lying on the ground within reach of me. Daryl runs up from the back of the Jeep, grabs his arrow from the dead walker's skull and looks at me for a moment. His eyes graze over my skin searching for a bit or scrape. When he's satisfied that I'm ok, he opens the hatch of the Jeep, I climb in and he closes it, running to get to the group. I climb up front and roll the windows up. When the chaos stops, that silence and stillness creeps in covering the camp.

We slowly emerge from the back of the Jeep and make our way back to Dale's RV. Bodies are strewn everywhere, walkers and our own campers. It's a horrible sight. When we reach the RV, Jimmy runs up to embrace me. Daryl makes eye contact with me over his shoulder for only a moment before he looks away. He saved my life. Mason runs over to Eli and Rachel checking everyone over. He stands up with a flash of anger on his face.

"What were you thinking?!" he screams in my face. "You have a son. He needs his mother and you decide to go all Rambo on me?" He growls as turns his back, out of breath. I stare at him in silence, mouth agape.

"If she din't get out of that damn Jeep and kill the ugly bastard trying to climb in the window, that kid that you're so worried about wouln't a made it idiot. Quit being an ass." Daryl says unexpectedly. He stomps away grumbling about the camp getting what was coming to them.

Andrea is kneeling by Amy, sobbing. The remainder of the camp looks on, drained and frightened.

"I remember my dream now. Why I dug the holes." Jim says quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

Jimmy and I sat by the fire all night, unable to sleep. We hardly speak, just sit. Apparently we are not alone in our insomnia. Daryl sits outside his tent, near a second low fire all night. Occasionally I glance in his direction. I catch him staring back at me once or twice. I haven't been able to thank him yet. Now is not the time. The camp is silent and eerie.

"I didn't tell him thank you." Jimmy breaks the silence

"Who?" I ask gently

"Devin, before he died." he interrupts. "I never thanked him for moving home after mom and dad died. I could have taken care of Isaiah. I was 18. I could have taken care of the funeral and the arrangements, but he gave up everything to come home and help. I never thanked him for it." I didn't realize how much his brother's death weighed on him still. Devin had been the first casualty that we had to face at home. I want to tell him that Devin knew but instead I let his words die on the air. He isn't looking for my comfort or meaningless words.

My focus travels to the fire in front of Daryl. I am mesmerized at the way the flames danced on his face. He is focused on Jimmy & me. He is in my head, without permission. I want to make sure he is ok. I don't see anyone else making sure that he is all right. No one seems to care that his brother is still missing. I turn away, afraid of my own thoughts. I comfortably lean into Jimmy and stare back at our fire. I see Daryl put his fire out and go in his tent out of the corner of my eye.

**DARYL'S POV**

What the hell is wrong with these people? That idiot Rick leaves my brother on a roof, in the middle of walker hell, to die. Merle can't even wait till I come get him. He's an idiot to think I wouldn't have come after him. Then that asshole screams at the new chick cuz she saved her kid's life. Andrea's sobbin' over her soon-to-be walker sister. The world goes to hell and everyone loses their damn minds.

I look up at the other fire for a moment. The brunette with the tattoos is sittin' there with her friend. Must've been the first attack they had to deal with. At least she's ain't fallin apart like blondy over there. She sneaks a look in my direction. She doesn't look mad like when I scared her boy.

For some reason, it doesn't bother me, the way she looks at me. It should. Merle'd be makin' a big deal outta her lookin' over here. Yell somethin' nasty to her and make her mad. I remember the look on her face earlier when I shot that walker and helped her; no one had looked at me like that as far as I could remember. I wonder what she is thinkin'. She turns away. I put the fire out and head inside my tent.

I lie on the hard ground starin up at the sky. Stupid Merle, cut off his own damn hand just cuz he was an ignorant bastard. Probably out and about in Atlanta right now lookin' to score some pain pills or somethin' stronger. Just like him to be think bout himself. Guess we ain't robbin' the place blind anymore. That's ok, I wasn't really feelin' like it anyway; too many kids. We don't need that followin' us. I roll over and close my eyes. Might as well try and sleep for a bit.

**AUTUMN'S POV**

Jimmy and I watch the sunrise in peace. When everyone else joins us, the look of uncertainty and fear is clear on each of their faces. I quickly get up and prepare some oatmeal we have in the Jeep. There's plenty for everyone in camp and slowly and silently they trickle over to grab a bowl. Glenn, Daryl and T-Dog swallow their oatmeal quickly and get to work moving bodies and making sure they don't rise again. Mason sits down next to me. We haven't spoken since his outburst. I'm hoping his mood has changed

"Why don't you and Eli hang out in the tent today." He suggests. I just nod in agreement. Today's not the day to fight. Eli and I head to the tent. I lay down with my worn copy of Wuthering Heights. Eli's sketching quietly. At lunch, I tell him to stay put and go in search of some food. I find myself at the back of the RV when Daryl walks over to grab a sip of water. He stops when he sees me there.

"Din't know anyone was over here." He mumbles.

"No worries, I was just leaving." Now is my chance, I may not get to talk to him alone again.

"Thank you, by the way. I don't think I said that last night. You didn't have to. . . " my voice trails off.

"It's not such a big deal. Killin walkers is nothin new for me." It was as close to "you're welcome," as I was going to get.

I stay for a moment; finding myself searching his hypnotic eyes for something that I couldn't define. His gaze is intense and unrelenting. I drop my eyes to the ground and walk away without another word. I head back to the tent and enjoy my lunch with Eli. He shows me a few drawings he is working on. He's an amazing artist and my heart swells with pride. The latest picture he was drawing was a little dark for my taste. He was working on sketches for a comic book he wanted to draw.

A gunshot from outside makes me jump in my seat. I'm guessing that we have one less walker to worry about.

Sometime later, Jimmy joins us in the tent. Eli leaves to find his dad and Rachel. Jimmy's looking me over to make sure I was holding up.

"I need a drink." I smile "Whiskey sounds like heaven right now."

"Remember our 21st birthday?" he laughs. "I'm pretty sure Devin took just as many shots as we did and then we tried to walk home and ended up passing out on the lawn of that Catholic Church in town." It feels great to laugh. We head out of the tent to join everyone else at the gravesites.

The camp is clear of bodies. No one says anything as we cross the hill to where the campers are buried. Everyone helps to cover the graves and silently pay their respects. I notice there are a few people missing. Carol and Sophia are a short distance away, staring at Ed's grave. Andrea is dragging Amy's body to an open grave. She is tearfully waving off Dale's offer of help.

Daryl is off to the side of the group, watching with a careful expression. Our eyes meet for a brief moment before he turns and walks back toward Dale's RV, glancing back at me once. After we finish, the group slowly heads back to camp as if wearing the weight of the night on our shoulders. Eli and I are the last to reach the camp. He hangs his head and shuffles his feet standing next to him. Everyone is scattered through out camp but no one is fitting into their normal routine. Rick is in the RV, Daryl and Shane pace nervously. I'm missing something. Daryl looks pissed.

"Mason, what the hell's going on?" I ask.

"Jim was bit. And the group is trying to decide their next steps." He explains.

"Next steps? He's going to turn. Are there really any choices to make?" I can't believe he is ok with this. "I don't mean to be heartless here Mase but they need to end this. I'm not gonna stick around and wait for him to turn on us."

"Rick wants to try the CDC. He thinks we might be able to get help." He is unreasonably calm.

"The CDC is in Atlanta." I slowly realize what Mason is thinking. Thomas lives in Atlanta. Thomas was offered a coaching job at a top-ranked high school in downtown Atlanta. He took it shortly after graduating college and loved living in the big city.

Mason glanced over to Rachel. She wasn't holding up very well. I thought she might break at any moment. Eli heads toward the fire pit and I follow. Eli and I spend the rest of the day together. Eventually we take a walk down by the lake to clear our heads. As the sun starts to set, I need sometime alone. I let Jimmy know that I need to take a walk. Eli is there with him working on some kind of sketch.

I walk slowly along the gravel road that we came in on, lost in my thoughts. I don't even notice when Daryl falls in line next to me. When I look up from the ground and realize he's there, I jump a little.

"Sorry, din't mean to scare you." Daryl says with a bit of an edge. "I din't wanna interrupt. You looked like you were somewhere else."

"I was." I don't explain any further. Daryl doesn't ask. We walk in silence. I notice, again, that it's not scary or overwhelming silence but peaceful, comfortable.

"You think the CDC is the answer?" I ask

He shrugs, "Not sure, Rick is right though. Easier to go there first."

"You going with them?" I ask casually

"Sure, maybe Merle's wanderin around somewhere. Ain't no where else for me to go." He answers

"My brother lives in Atlanta. That's the way we were headed anyway." I tell him

"We better get back. Wouldn't want that Mason guy to come down here and make a scene cuz you ain't up there." He turns and heads back to camp. I follow a few paces behind him. I notice he slows his pace until we are in step next to one another again. Mason gives me a look when we make it back up to camp. Daryl was right, he is far from pleased.

Over dinner that night, Shane solemnly announces that anyone wanting to go with them to the CDC was welcome to and that the group was heading out in the morning. I'm sitting on the ground next to the log Mason's perched on. We've already discussed heading out with the group. I tell the group our plan to stop to look for Thomas. Whatever is on Mason's mind, comes out in his attitude.

"What did you think we were doing all this for? Fun, adventure, thrills? Of course we're going to look for Thomas." He was defensive. "Why don't you worry about staying safe, hu?"

"Now what the hell is your problem?" I'm lost here.

"There isn't time for you to wander off on your own. You don't even carry a gun." He says through gritted teeth. That's not fair. He knew I had a thing about guns. I refused to carry one from day one. I knew how to shoot a gun. My dad taught me a long time ago. He wanted me to be able to defend myself. We spent every Saturday at the range during high school But things changed. I prefer the hunting knife my dad had given me before he died.

"Mason, I needed a moment. I had to clear my head. You could have found me at any time. Daryl did." I tell him. The worry doesn't leave his face. "You have to stop with this. I get it, you want me safe. This isn't like before." I try to calm him down a bit.

"Yeah and look how broken you are. You may not be able to see it but the rest of us can." He gets up and walks toward where Rachel and the boys are getting ready for bed. Jimmy sits down in his place. I rest my head against his knee. I don't like fighting with Mason; especially with Eli so close to us. He has seen enough.

"Why don't you try to sleep? You're driving tomorrow." He moves the hair from my face. Jimmy knows me so well. He knows that I hate the fighting and he acts as our peacekeeper. It's sweet of him, even when it's ineffective. I stand up and head toward my tent. Eli's already sleeping when I get there. I lie down and listen to the silence echo off the hills.

In the morning, as we're preparing for to leave, Morales and his family tell the group they have decided to go at it alone. They are headed to Birmingham to find their families. We all wish them luck and head out. I'm silent in the car. Eli is in the back sketching again. My eyes are sore and dry. The argument with Mason weighs on my mind and I try to figure out a way for us to stop the fighting.

An unexpected pop and hiss fills the air and the RV in front of us moves to the shoulder of the road and comes to a sudden stop. This can't be good. We're only a short distance from the city. Dale and Rick are at the front of the RV, inspecting the damage. Shane and T-Dog volunteer to drive ahead and find something to help. Rick heads inside to talk to Jim. When the two guys return, Rick tells the group that Jim wants to be left behind. He wants to die. Shane and Rick debate about the morality of it all. I stand back and watch the two men. Shane has a massive chip on his shoulder. He's eyes are black and unemotional while deliberating over a man's life. The look in his eyes is frightening.

Jimmy stands next to me listening to discussion. I see on his face how hard this is for him. He's had this discussion before, with his brother and I. The day Devin was bit. Jimmy wanted to fight tooth and nail for his brother to live. He was ready to sacrifice his own life. Devin didn't give him the option. He waited in the garage until we all fell asleep. He took his own life. The thought of turning tore him apart and he wanted to save his brothers from that fate. I knew when I heard the gunshot from the garage what had happened. I stayed in my bed, listening to Jimmy and Isaiah scream when they found him. I crept down and sat just inside the doorway from the garage. When Jimmy finally came into the house, I held him while he broke. Right now, that's all I see in his face.

It's finally decided that the group will honor Jim's wishes. As hard as this may be, I agree with the group. Jim has a right to live and die the way he wants and we have no right to make that decision for him. I respect the man. It seems the entire group does. It's not an easy day for anyone. We finish fixing the RV and are soon back on the road.

As we enter Atlanta city limits, my heart races. The anticipation is driving me insane. By the time we stop in front of the old brick townhouse, I'm practically jumping out of my seat. I climb out of the vehicle and bolt for the door. Mason and Jimmy follow me up to the front door. I burst into complete darkness. The house was cold and empty. It had been for some time now. I don't know what I was expecting. What did I hope for? I'd walk in and my brother was sitting there, waiting for me?

My heart falters. I slowly creep down the hall to the bedroom. I push the door open with one foot and I freeze. Clothes, pictures, books, it's all empty. The furniture is covered in a significant layer of dust. There was a stagnant odor in the air. Something catches my eye; I cross the room to the night stand. A sheet of folded paper lies on the table with the blackbird paperweight I bought him when he left Atlanta. I picked up the delicate piece of paper and slowly unfolded it, terrified of what was in this letter.

_Autumn, _

_I know why you wanted to come find me but I hope to God that Jimmy talked you out of it. The city was over run and I needed to take off. There are stories about a safe place being in Fort Benning. I'm headed that way. Hopefully you're safe. I love you and hope to see you again. Then again, if you're safe, it doesn't matter. _

_Always, _

_Thomas_

A few tears leak out and hit the fading paper. He's gone. Not dead, not that I know of at least, just gone. We have come so far out of our way. We risked so much for nothing. I put my son's life at risk to drive to an empty house with no hope of finding my brother. I realized that I had hoped to find Tommy to justify my insane trip. Jimmy is at my side, reading the note in my hand.

"Autumn, we have to go. We'll find him. But for now, before it's too late, we have to go." He urges as he can see the sun hanging lower in the sky from the window. No one wants to be out here after dark. I follow him out of the room and back out to the street, still gripping the note. He was alive, sometime after our last phone call and before today. It's not a hell of a lot to go on, but it's something. I'm still struggling to erase the guilt eating away at me. Rick meets us on the front lawn. Mason is whispering to him as Jimmy gets me into the passenger side of the Jeep. I roll down my window and allow the breeze to rush in. I breathe in deeply, trying to keep myself together. Eli sleeps gently in the back of the jeep. I'm glad he doesn't have to see this.

When we arrive at the CDC, the sun has all but disappeared behind buildings and hills in the distance. Thousands of bodies are scattered in every direction. We all move slowly through the dead, watching for walkers as we go. I'm maintaining my composure even though everything in me is screaming for a break down. Eli is glued to my side. Daryl follows a short distance behind us, watching our backs as we make our way to the front doors. They are locked and sealed tight. My face falls. I may just have that nervous breakdown now. Around us, walkers are starting to realize there is fresh meat.

"We need to go." Shane is panicked. Daryl and Rick are arguing about Fort Benning. We'll never make it. Not now. We're out of supplies and gas. We're exhausted and emotionally drained. I packed up everyone important in my life and sent them on to their death. I couldn't cry and I couldn't breathe. My knees begin to weaken under me. Daryl is suddenly at my side. He grips my arm firmly. It's not aggressive, just steady.

We start to turn away and as we do, we are bathed in light as the doors to the CDC come alive. We all stand frozen for a moment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Daryl's POV**

While Autumn goes inside to find her brother, I fix a few of the bolts I finished up. It's takin her long enough. We need to get out of here. I hate the damn city, even more now that it's littered with walkers. Ya just can't breathe in a place like this. The screen door swings open and Autumn comes out with Mason and Jimmy and no one else. Damn! Her brother ain't here or he ain't living.

She's got some kind of paper in her hand. I watch as Jimmy helps her in the Jeep. Mason's talking to Rick. This ain't good. I grab the handle of my door just as Mason and Rick get back in their cars. I glance at the house and wonder what the hell is in that place.

Shortly after, we pull up in front of some big building; I'm guessin it's the CDC. We come to a quiet stop and slowly get out of the vehicles. I wait for everyone else to get out of their vehicles and then bring up the rear. Autumn and her boy are in front of me. He keeps lookin back at me. He ain't scared of me. That's new. Most kids are; hell most everyone is.

When we hit the doors, they're shut. Rick's idea sucked and now we're stuck outside close to dark. We need to find Shane and Rick go back to arguint. They need to shut up & get back to the cars. As they're fightin about what to do, I catch that Autumn is looking a little shakey. I move to her side and grab her arm. That's all we need, her passin out before we get outta here. Finally they all got the good sense to move on and as we do, the doors open.

As we all walk through the doors, I'm still holdin on to Autumn. She don't seem to mind much. I can tell she's goin on automatic at this point. Just tryin to hold up. Some nerdy guy is there when we all get in. He's got his automatic drawn on us. I don't trust this guy.

"Why are you here? What do you want?" the jerk asks. What does he think we want? The dead are walking around outside that door, just waitin to get close enough to have a bite to eat. Idiot.

Rick steps up and tells him "a chance."

"That's asking an awful lot these days," the doc says. He talks Rick into blood tests and tells us we can stay. We start to grab our stuff. I let go of Autumn and look her over. She's one of those women who ain't all skin and bones. She looks like she could keep herself alive a lot better than that whimpering chick hanging on Mason. Her arms are covered in amazing tattoos. Her face is startin' to get some color in it again. She turns her green eyes on me and I get the same feeling I have every time she looks at me. I don't feel like she's disgusted. I feel like she kinda gets me. I shake my head, I don't need no chick getting' in my head. She starts followin' everyone else with her boys. I walk close behind, lookin over my shoulder as we follow Jenner into the building.

**Autumn's POV**

I don't remember much about the trip down to the control room with the doctor and I vaguely remember having him draw blood from my arm. I'm still reeling from not finding Thomas. I knew it was a long shot. I often felt like turning back, going home. It's all my fault. We'd be safe, not starving. What kind of mother am I? No wonder, Mason's so angry. The thoughts keep coming, getting louder and louder until they are the only thing I hear. The doc, I know he told us his name but I just can't remember it, leads us down a hall with different rooms. At the end we enter a large common area. There is a full kitchen and a large table. I dropped myself into a chair. Jimmy and Mason are whispering a few steps away. Jimmy keeps looking over at me. I ignore them, avoiding their eyes.

Daryl is in front of me, with a bottle of water in his hand. He doesn't say anything, just hands it to me and walks away, his pack in hand. I stare at him as he walks away. He's starting to grow on me. Hell, even his saunter is kinda sexy. I secretly tell myself that's a horrible, bad, no good idea. He heads over to a cabinet and starts digging around. He must find whatever it is he's looking for because he turns around with a bottle of liquor in his hands. I stare at it longingly. He starts drinking it straight from the bottle. My stomach turns. I need food before anything else.

The meal is quick but amazing. None of us have eaten like this for days. We have wine with dinner and I can tell how long it's been since I've had some alcohol in me. I need something stronger. During our meal while Rick and Lori are debating on allowing Carl to have some wine, Mason leans over and tells me that he's taking Eli for the night. He wants me to get some sleep. I just nod in agreement. I'm not arguing with him. Daryl is still drinking whatever liquor he found in the cabinet. I excuse myself from the table for a moment and head for that cabinet. A moment later, I find what I'm looking for; a decent sized bottle of Jameson Whiskey. That should get the job done. Everyone follows Jenner back out to the hall.

I grab my empty wine glass and poor myself enough to start numbing myself. The first sip burns enough to feel good. The first glass is empty before I hit the doorway. I leave the glass abandoned on a counter and take a sip from the bottle. I trail behind the group, hugging the cool glass against my chest. Jenner mentions showers. My ears perk up. It's been weeks since I was able to have an actual shower, with hot water. We had come across a high school back in Southern Illinois that had some hot water left in the tank. But only enough for a teaser before ice cold droplets hit your skin. We start heading into separate rooms. I put my pack in the room I plan on taking. I see that Jimmy ends up with Daryl and Isaiah bunks with Glenn, who is looking worse with every sip of wine. He's going to be feeling rough in the morning.

I grab my clothes and my bottle and head for the shower room. By the time I get in there, it's empty. I set the bottle on the sink and head to the nearest shower head. The heat of the water as it bursts out and sinks straight into every sore muscle I didn't realize I had. I let the water pour over my hair and face, washing away the stains from my earlier tears. The steam surrounds my body and I enjoy the isolation and peace for a moment. I find myself singing in the shower; old habits die hard. I belt out Blackbird. My dad was such a Beatles fan. When I was five or six, I would sing it to my brother in his crib when he would wake up in the middle of the night in our room. It always helped him back to sleep. I fight the tears threatening to overflow. The heat of the shower relaxes my muscles enough that I can't control the tears. I fight the body-wracking sobs that creep over me. I quickly shut off the water and pull a towel around my body.

The heat from the shower was nice but the heat from the whiskey is what I really need. I dry my hair, pull on some sweats and a tank top and grab my bottle. Eli is in the rec area with the other kids. Mason and Rachel are seated on the couch watching the kids play a board game. I set my bottle outside the door and go in to say goodnight. Mason can tell I'm already feeling the effects of the alcohol. After I kiss Eli good night, Mason grabs my wrist and pulls me gently toward the door way.

"That's not going to help, ya know?" he tells me as I pick up the bottle and take another swig.

"Yeah, you're right," I say, "but it's what I need for tonight. Don't treat me like a drunk because I need one night to numb myself. I'll regret it in the morning but for now, leave me be. I'm not arguing and I'm not asking permission. Go spend time with our son; I'll go drink some more whiskey. Night Mase."

I turn and walk down the hall toward my room. Shane stumbles into the hallway from the men's showers. He has a matching bottle in his hand.

"Cheers." I say without enthusiasm and I take another sip. He nods and drinks as well. "Where you goin' deputy?" I tease him a bit.

"You seen Lori or Rick around?" he asks, his words are slurred.

I point him in the direction I just saw Lori head off in and walk away from him. As I pass by Jimmy's room, I hear simple guitar chords that I would recognize anywhere. The door is open slightly. Jimmy's sitting on the couch, playing around with his guitar. I sneak in, hoping I don't bother him. I stand in the doorway and listen to his angelic voice before he notices me there. Jimmy has a raspy, passionate voice when he's immersed in his songs. It always hits me in the gut; hooks me in and I can feel what he's feeling. He's singing one of my particular favorites and I close my eyes to enjoy.

"So have you come by to get me drunk and take advantage of me?" Jimmy smiles at me as he nods toward the almost half gone bottle in my hand.

"You can't take advantage of the willing." I giggle. Wow, I'm a lightweight tonight. Jimmy pats the spot next to him on the coach and I sit, facing him with my knees to my chest, hugging my bottle. I run my hands through my still damp hair.

"How you holding up baby girl? What are you thinking?" he asks

"Honestly Jimmy Jam, I don't want to think, I don't want to feel, I don't want to worry. For one night, one night only, I want to be completely numb. I want to pretend that Thomas and Devin are just going to walk in at any moment and everything wrong with the world will be right. I'm sick of Mason's pity looks or arguing with him. I'm sick of Rachel defending his honor as if I'd ever question it. I'm sick of the world falling apart and not knowing what's going to happen next. No for one night, I want to just stop it all, turn it off." I sigh

"We can do that." He takes the bottle from me and takes a long swig. I give him a half-smile. Apparently numb it is for the evening. Daryl stumbles in moments later. His bottle is over half gone.

"Jameson? That stuff isn't for kids ya know?" He notices our bottle.

"That's a good thing." I say and drink some more.

"I'm gonna go check on my brother. I haven't seen him in a while. I hope he's not passed out in the shower." Jimmy winks at me as he gets up to go in search of his brother.

"I'll head to my room in a minute. I want to make sure the rooms spinning before I try to walk again." I tell him. I don't let him know that I want to thank Daryl, again.

"Usually people who drink that stuff, are lookin to forget somethin." Daryl's thick southern drawl sends shivers down my body. I hope my body doesn't betray me and give away more than needs to be. I blame my temporary insanity on the whiskey.

"Yeah, I'm tryin to forget that we're surrounded by hell. " I tell him.

"Is that all?" he asks. His question isn't interrogating, just curious.

"No," I take a huge swig and enjoy the burn as it travels down to my stomach. I find myself staring at his eyes. The word vomit that follows shocks no one more than me. "No, I want to forget that I packed my son and everyone I love up for a worthless trip. I want to forget that I still haven't found my brother. I want to forget that the only family I have is in danger every step of the way because of me. I want to pretend this outbreak never happened and I want to forget. . ." I trail off.

"Oh, Is that all?" he is grinning at me

"Not remotely but it's all I have the energy for right now." I answer with another sip. "Thank you again by the way. For helping me earlier when I wasn't feeling so well. You didn't have to help. . . again."

"Yeah, it must be that whole chick in distress thing." He shrugs it off. He's uncomfortable with compliments. I can tell. I suddenly have the courage of a million men, or a good portion of quality whiskey.

"You're a regular caped crusader Dixon. " I pour on my best drunk girl flirt. "My hero." He rolls his eyes at me and takes another sip of his own bottle. I stand up to head to bed but the room is off balance. I tumble back on to the couch. Great, that's the graceful exit I was aiming for. I giggle again, damn alcohol. As I try to stand up a second time, he puts a hand on my arm and takes my bottle of whiskey away.

"Stay here, you can take the couch. S'not like we're bound to use it. I got my cot and sleeping bag and Jimmy's takin that cot over there." He hands me a blanket and pillow.

I lay down on the couch on my side, burrowed in my blanket.

"Daryl?" I say before closing my eyes. I might as well use my liquid courage for the night. I can always blame my drunken state for what I'm about to ask.

"Yeah?" he is sitting on the edge of his cot.

"Will you sit by me while I fall asleep? I just want to know someone's in the room. Ya know?" I'm sure he doesn't.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I could do that." He sits on the couch by my head. I lean my pillow against his side and settle in. The heat radiating off of him wraps around me. His musky smell is intoxicating, not like the liquor. Just one of those smells you want to breathe in forever. I hold my breath for a moment to keep the memory with me. I drift into alcohol induced dreams that include way too much of Mr. Dixon then they should.


	7. Chapter 7

**Jimmy's POV**

Autumn's standing in the doorway, ready for bed, a good portion of her bottle empty. Her eyes are sad and I know she's close to breaking down. Maybe she needs it; get it all out of her system. Mason's worried about her, we all are. She hasn't said much since Tommy's house.

She needs to smile or at least I need to see her smile. I need to know she's still in there; I catch narrow glimpses of that woman she once was, every so often. I laugh as she casually tosses banter back and forth. I motion her to come and sit by me. It's obvious, she's drained; physically and emotionally. The bottle in her hand tells me she's also in pain.

There was a night, not that long ago when she showed up at my door; barely able to walk, bruises both old and new covering her face and arms. She was covered in blood, I wasn't sure if it belonged to her or not but I couldn't care. Her hazel eyes were blazing and I could see the damage behind them. She was terrified and broken.

It only took five minutes for the police to arrive. The street was washed out by the flashing lights from both the police and rescue vehicles. Neighbors stood in their lawns; the curiosity of a small town. I watched as two officers dragged Bryan out to one of the rescue squads, handcuffed. Anger flooded me; it was all I could do to stop myself from lunging at him as he looked at me with his drunken sneer.

At first, Bryan was amazing. He had us all fooled. Slowly, he started "suggesting" things he wanted her to do. She fell into line. After a while, we all had our suspicions. She denied what we could all see. She used the typical excuses saying she fell or walked into something. We would press and she would just turn away from us; until Bryan hurt Eli.

He was drunk, angry at Eli for leaving his bike on the wrong side of the garage after football practice. Autumn came home from work and Bryan had the boy bent over his knee, belt in hand. The poor boy still has the scars from the beating he took that night. Autumn left there on the spot. She packed up went to Mason's. They called the police. Bryan was released on a technicality due to some redneck idiot cop. He came home demanding Autumn come back and threatened to kill her and Eli. She left Eli to live with Mason and every day she planned her escape. Pretending and following along with Bryan as if nothing happened. The night he was arrested, she broke.

He came after her again, this time with a gun. She explained that he was drunk. There was an argument regarding Eli and she threatened to leave him. He tackled her to the ground, gun to her temple. Her words as she told me the story were broken by sobs. She had agreed to carry a knife on her at all times weeks ago when she told Mason about the situation. Bryan's temper had just spiraled out of control after she sent the boys to live with Mason. She just wanted out. Her hand slowly wrapped around the handle of the knife in her waistband. She wrestled her arm close to her chest and she stabbed him in the inside of his upper thigh as he straddled her. When he rolled off of her to the side, she sprinted, out the back door to my house; her safe haven.

For weeks, she would hole herself up in the house with Eli. She refused to speak. No one pushed her. Mainly because we were all afraid that she would shut down. Somehow she kept going and we all hoped she would be ok. Watching her as she tells me she feels responsible for everything that's happened on the road, I'm so worried we might lose her. She wants to be numb for tonight. I think she deserves it.

Daryl walks in, I see her noticeably relax. He gives her a little grief on her choice of poison. She banters easily back with him. She normally doesn't act this way. Maybe it's the alcohol. Whatever it is, she seems to enjoy his company. When I think she's comfortable, I excuse myself, leaving her alone with the redneck.

In the hall, I run into a very intoxicated Shane. I notice scratches on his face but decide now is not the time to bring them up. Whatever his issue is, I don't need the extra drama. I turn into Autumn and Tanya's room and close the door.

**Daryl POV**

Oh man, I thought Glenn was wasted. Autumn has been drownin whatever it was on her mind in that bottle of Jameson she's been hangin on to, since dinner. She was gonna hurt in the mornin. I ain't judgin, I plan on bein shitfaced drunk myself. That Jimmy guy she hangs out with told me about what happened at her brother's. At least he ain't dead. Maybe he's out there like Merle.

Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are barely open. She kinda looks sexy in that tank top and sweats. I can see most of her tattoos and for some reason, I'm starin at her. Damn, I can't even think about a woman right now. That's just trouble in the making.

"Usually people who drink that stuff, are lookin to forget something." I tell her. Her smile is amazing. She gives me some smart-ass answer. I know that's not why she's drinkin, no one drinks like that just cuz of some walkers.

"Is that all?" I ask her. It's not just to avoid silence. I'm ok with the quiet. With Autumn, the quiet ain't so bad; less pressure. I really wanna know what she's thinkin; not sure why. She stares at me and she tells me how guilty and worried she's feelin'. At least now I know why the Whiskey is goin down so good. I have to laugh a little as she's slurrin her words.

"Oh, is **_that_** all?" I ask. She needs that drink, I ain't gonna stop her. She thanks me for holdin on to her earlier when she was gonna pass out on us. I just didn't want her fallin over in front of her kid. That's all. I tell her as much.

"You're a regular caped crusader Dixon, my hero." She's definitely drunk. Anyone sober wouldn't call me any kinda hero. She'll regret bein all flirty in the morning. Merle would tell me to take advantage of the situation, hell, he would.

I watch as she tries to stand up but falls right back down on the couch. She tries a second time and I stop her. I tell her she can stay; not like Jimmy's gonna care. Autumn's just about to pass out when I hear her say my name. My name sounds like a masterpiece comin from her lips.

"Will you sit by me while I fall asleep? I just want to know someone's in the room, ya know?" she asks. She's drunk, she doesn't mean it but it's not like I'm goin to sleep anytime soon. I agree and sit down on the couch by her. She puts her head on the side of my lap. Within a few minutes she's out. I'm afraid to move her.

Her brown hair is falling in her face. I move it behind her ear and she turns her cheek toward my touch. I put my hand on her arm and she shifts into me more. I can't lie, I don't wanna move. I could sit her and watch her sleep. I'd be ok with that. I grab the bottle of Whiskey I took from her and take a long, hard drink. It's gonna be a long night. She's in for a rough morning. My eyes start to close, just a little at first. I shift in my seat so that my head is resting on the back of the couch and my feet are propped up on my cot. I close my eyes for just a minute and when I open them again, it's morning.

**Autumn POV**

When my eyes first flutter open, I'm scared; I have no clue where I am. The reality of the events over the last few days, including my very unflattering drunken state last night, quickly bring me back to reality. The increasing pain in my head and the roll of my stomach do me no favors. I remember falling asleep with Daryl next to me and I hadn't slept that well since far before the Dead rose again. The combination of the whiskey and his scent are all over me. I don't want to move yet. Daryl and Jimmy are nowhere to be found.

The door slowly opens and Daryl walks in with a full glass of something unappealing. He hands it to me.

"Eww, what's this?" I ask staring at the light green concoction he handed me with a disgusted face.

"Old Dixon family hangover cure. Don't ask what's in it, don't smell it, just get it down as fast as possible and hit the showers. You'll feel somewhat human again. They're cookin food in the kitchen. You don't look half as bad as Glenn." He chuckles.

"Jimmy come back last night?" I ask.

"Uh yeah, later on but he was here." He answers

"Did you sleep?" I shoot him a worried look.

"Yeah, I fell asleep sittin with you. The alcohol must have hit me pretty hard." He glances nervously at me.

I flush; suddenly a shower sounds amazing. I excuse myself and head to the bathroom. Daryl's right, whatever it was he gave me this morning worked. By the time I'm toweling off after my shower, I feel at least 75% better. I head down to the kitchen area hoping there is some food left. Eli is all smiles when I enter the room. I sit down next to him. Daryl is sitting across from them, half of his plate eaten.

"Mom, did you know that you can make your own. . . "Eli started but trailed off, trying to remember something.

"Bolts." Daryl interjects

"Yeah, bolts for the crossbow. That's right. You can make them out of branches if you need to and that's why a crossbow is better than a gun. That and it's almost completely silent." Mason and I had already taught him how to handle a knife. We were going to start teaching him to shoot soon. Well Mason was; I refuse to handle a gun.

"Good to know kid. How's the food?" Eli hands me a plate in response. I glance over at Daryl and smile in appreciation. He just nods and continues eating.

Eli's telling me about his night with Carl and then spending the night with his father. He turns to me. "How was your night mom?"

"My night was pretty awesome too. In fact it's the best night I've had in a while. I did miss hanging out with you but I managed." I tell him. Daryl grinned and went back to eating. Maybe he's not so bad. I shake that thought off and start eating the food in front of me.

Everyone is teasing poor Glenn who seems to have gotten the worst of it when Shane stomps into the kitchen and hits the coffee pot first. Rick asks him if he's feeling as bad as the rest of us.

"Worse." Shane replies. Something is off with him. Horrible scratches cover his face and neck. T-Dog asks about them.

"I dunno, musta done it in my sleep or somethin." He answers casually, staring at Lori the whole time. I start to realize what his issue is. All the curiosity back at camp, the tense exchanges with someone he claims is his friend, now this. Shane and Lori were sleepin together. I glanced at Daryl and Dale, who had just joined us, across the table to see if they have a clue. They both look away uncomfortably. They know too.

"Never seen you do that before." Rick says.

"Yeah, not like me at all." Shane replies coldly; never taking his eyes off Lori. She's staring at the floor and shifting in her chair. Dr. Jenner enters the room. Dale immediately interrogates the doctor to see what he knows. He tells us to follow him.

We enter the cold, dark control room as a group. Mason and Eli are next to me. Rachel decided to head back to their room. Dr. Jenner pulls up an image on the main screen labeled 'Test Subject 19.' We watch in awe as Jenner explains the images on the screen. Bright lights flash throughout the brain scan. As the video progresses, a dark red area spreads and covers the brain, killing the lights and the test subject. Jenner explains that this disease, whatever it is, shuts down the brain and then restarts it, without the human part. We watch as the subject on the screen comes back to life but the brain is dark and lifeless. The doctor describes what happens when the body re-animates. A sharp line shoots through the brain from off screen.

Jenner goes on; telling us they have no clue what caused this disease. Other areas held out as long as possible but he doesn't know what state they are in now. For all he knows, the entire world is dead. The sense of hope we all felt last night during our first safe moments since the outbreak, is sucked from the room. The room is covered with a feeling of depression. Dale interrupts asking Jenner about the clock on the wall. It's counting down.

Jenner tells us that when that clocks hits zero, the basement generators will be out of fuel. Rick asks him what will happen. Jenner avoids the question and leaves the room. Rick, Shane, T-Dog and Mason head off to check the generators. The rest of us race to our rooms to pack. We need to get out of here fast. We stop to get Eli's clothes from his father's room. Rachel is stuffing clothes and supplies in her and Mason's bags. Her face is drained of color and her hands are shaking. I head to my room to get my things.

"You may want to check on Rachel, She's not doing so well." I tell Mason as I pass him in the hallway. I rush around to get my own things packed away. Most of it is already packed considering I didn't spend the night here. I push my last piece of clothing into the bag as we are plunged into darkness. Eli grabs my hand tightly, I pull him close.

"All right kid, stay close. We'll get outta here, we just need to make it back toward the main room ok?" I grab his hand and my pack. As we head to the hallway, I run into Daryl and Jimmy.

"Y'all ok?" Daryl asks in a whisper.

"Yeah, yeah, we're good. Just a little nervous is all." Jimmy turns and takes the lead. We follow close behind. I feel Daryl's hand on the lower part of my back. A slight shiver travels up my spine. I know he felt it. He leans in close.

"You got everything?" he asks in my ear. The shivers ripple out across the rest of my body.

"Yeah, but I could use that bottle of whiskey right about now." I joke with him. He gives me a little chuckle.

"Who said it's not in Jimmy's bag? Couln't let some good whiskey go to waste. Who knows when we might need to get you drunk again?" I playfully elbow him in the ribs.

We meet Jenner in the hallway. He starts to explain how the system is designed to shut down and keep the computers going until the very last second. We enter the control room again. Rick tells us all to grab our gear and run. We don't hesitate but as we reach the door that leads to the elevator, it shuts.


	8. Chapter 8

"There's no point in struggling," says Jenner, dejectedly, "Everything topside is automatically locked down. 'When that door closes, it won't open again' you heard me say that." Jenner goes on, explaining what happens when the time runs out. His monotone acceptance of his own death and our deaths is enough to make my stomach turn again.

Daryl and Shane are busy working on their version of an escape plan; beating and prying open the door with axes and guns. Jenner tells them it's worthless to try and attack a door designed to withstand a rocket launcher. I sink to my knees by my son. I look at Rick, mouth agape. He has to do something, get us out of here. The clock slowly ticks the final moments of our life away. Flashes from the night of the fish fry, hit me in freeze frame; the conversation with Dale about Faulkner, Amy's screams. All of that death and fear just to die like this. I can't help but hope that Thomas is safe. Jenner and Rick argue about a chance, the same chance we asked for last night. I press my lips to my son's hand. Mason's at our side, hugging Rachel and holding Eli's other hand tightly. Shane attacks Jenner, gun to his head. Shots ring out through the room. I tuck my head into my son's shoulder.

And then the doors opened, Jenner gives us the chance Rick has been begging for. I don't hesitate. We grab our stuff, and run. I look back once just to make sure who's following. We're missing Dale, Andrea and Jacqui. I hesitate for a second but Daryl pushes me through the hallway. When we hit the ground level, the doors are still locked; all that to die here in the lobby. Daryl and Shane beat the glass with axes, T-Dog grabs a chair, but the glass doesn't break. Shane yells to move, grabs his rifle and shoots at the window. Desperation starts to sink in. Carol reaches into her purse as she tells Rick she has something that might help.

"I don't think a nail file is gonna work." Shane says snidely. She pulls out a grenade and hands it to Rick. He takes it to the window, pulls the pin and runs. The blast from the grenade shatters the window and we're out. Mason pulls Eli through the window and into a run. I'm right behind them. The blast attracted several walkers who turn toward us hungrily. Daryl, Rick and Shane clear a path that we can follow straight to the vehicles.

"Wait! They're coming!" Lori yells.

I glance to where she is pointing. Dale and Andrea are climbing out of the building. They are making their way across the lawn of the CDC. We're not going to make it off the road before that building explodes. Jimmy, Eli and I dive into the rear of the Jeep and take cover. Daryl is in the cab of his pick-up truck behind us. Relief washes over me when I realize he's safe.

The sound of glass shattering and metal exploding surrounds us. Flames burst from every angle and reach higher than surrounding buildings. The CDC is gone when I raise my head from where we are tucked away. I scramble for the front seat again and start the car. We turn around and head back out of the city. I don't realize I'm crying, hard sobs, until well after we are outside of the limits of Atlanta.

We stop at the edge of the city to regroup. We decide to find a place to stay for the night and stock up. The day has been hard enough without having to worry about our next steps. Our convoy rolls into a small suburb of Atlanta. The place is an absolute ghost town. Rows of abandoned houses and empty playgrounds are surrounded by deserted vehicles. Rick signals us all to stop when we reach the tiny gas station just outside of whatever po-dunk town we're traveling through. Eli is sleeping and Jimmy volunteers to stay with him.

"We need gas, food and shelter. Why don't we break up into small groups and tackle each of these. T-Dog, Mason and I will see what we have for gas at this station and in the surrounding cars. Isaiah, Daryl and Autumn, go find a place for all of us to stay tonight. It doesn't have to be fancy, just clear and able to be secured. Shane, take Glenn and see what you can find for food. The rest of you stay put. We'll meet back here soon. Don't go too far." Rick easily guides us into our tasks and we head out.

I throw on a hooded sweatshirt and grab my knife before heading to the area Isaiah and Daryl are waiting.

"We'll stay in a line. I'll go first, Autumn you follow and Isaiah bring up the rear." Daryl whispers.

"Yes, sir." I cast him an amused look.

"Great, I get the freakin smart ass." Daryl motions for me to follow him. We quietly move past a few houses that are single story onto a block with large Victorian homes. At the end of the Cul-De-Sac, there is a two story town hall building.

Daryl leads us around the outside of the building. There are two metal doors at the front and back of the building. There's also an old, solid oak door to the side. The yard behind the building is surrounded by a 6ft privacy fence that connects to the building. The yard is overrun with grass but there are no walkers. Daryl checks the front door and finds that it easily opens. We push the door completely open and head in cautiously, I'm holding the light. With each step, the pit in my stomach grows. We are quickly able to clear out the upstairs of the building. There is a first aid office, two small bathrooms and 4 decent size offices. The lower level has one big open area. Leftover public service announcements and flyers litter the floor in the hall. We head from the main hall into a kitchen area. The pantry has some left-over food. Signs around the kitchen advertise this place to be the local food pantry for the needy. That's us, we're the needy. We quickly finish our sweep and come up with nothing. We secure the doors and head back toward the group.

As we round the corner, there are a few walkers roaming around the front yard of a small yellow house. I quickly duck behind an abandoned van parked on the corner. Daryl kneels down next to the rear of the van, takes aim and fires. He takes out all three fairly quickly. I should have known that it was too quickly. Isaiah is standing a short distance from me, checking the road we just came from, as he turned back to face me, a walker appeared out of nowhere and grabbed onto the back of his leg. The sound of the Dead tearing through the flesh on Isaiah's ankle and his sudden wail in pain dropped me to my knees. I opened my mouth to scream and Daryl's hand clamped down across it. He creeps up behind the walker and stabs the thing in the back of the head. I run to Isaiah's side.

"Please, go now." Isaiah whispers. I stare into his eyes as he slips away.

Daryl comes up behind me. He pulls me back against his body, wrapping his strong arm around my stomach. I feel the brush of his lips at my ear. "Shhh. It's ok, it's ok. He's gone. Ain't nuthin we can do for him now. We need to get back to the group and get them to that building so that your boy is safe. He wouln't want them in danger."

I'm trying to maintain my composure as Daryl grabs me around the waist and directs me back toward the vehicles. We don't see another walker on our way.

As we approach the vehicles, Jimmy must see us from where he's sitting. He gets out of the car and races to my side.

"Where's my brother? Where's Isaiah?" his voice raises on the second question. I can't answer; I just shake my head and tears stream down my face. His hand flies to his mouth.

"No, no, no, no." he whispers. Jimmy's alone. His entire family is gone.

I want to reach out to him and comfort him but there is no comfort for that pain. Jimmy lurches forward, I catch him and pull him into me. He sobs silently on my shoulder.

Mason, Rick and T-Dogg arrive back at the vehicles with the final containers of fuel. Daryl puts his hand on my shoulder and motions toward the trio. I nod and he walks away. He volunteered to go and give them the news. I watch as he bites on the side of his thumb while he tells them about losing Isaiah. I pull Jimmy to his feet and prop him up. I gently coax him into putting one foot in front of the other until we reach the Jeep. Daryl opens the door while Jimmy climbs in. He leans his head against the cool glass, staring emotionless out the window. I give him some privacy and turn toward Daryl. I open my mouth to say something to him, anything but am cut off by Mason's embrace. Daryl whispers something to Rick and heads back in the direction we just came from alone. He's making sure that Isaiah doesn't rise. Words cannot begin to express the waves of guilt, pain and emotion that are washing over our group. I know I can't be the only one feeling like I'm drowning.

"Autumn, are you ok? Are you bit?" Mason's voice coaxes me back to the moment.

"Physically I'm fine, we weren't over run. It was just a few of them but one snuck up on Isaiah from behind. It was quick and I couldn't help him. Daryl saved me, again. He helped me get away." I assure him.

"I can't imagine. . ." his voice breaks off as he looks toward the back seat of the Jeep.

"We need to get inside. We need to get inside. Everyone will understand. We'll leave a couple people here to meet Shane and Glenn." I tell him emotionless. I have to get my family to safety.

Rick agrees. He volunteers to stay with Daryl. The two will wait for Shane and Glenn to come back with supplies. I get into my Jeep and lead everyone else back to town hall. Mason and T-Dogg perform another quick run through of the building. We park our vehicles near the front door, facing out. It adds an extra layer of protection between us and the Dead. It also allows us a getaway plan. We unload everyone and start grabbing necessary supplies. I take Eli upstairs to one of the offices we've cleared and get him settled in with Carl and Sophia. Carol and Rachel offer to stay with them while we handle unpacking and cooking.

I give Rachel a quick hug before I leave. I don't know how much more of this that poor woman can take. As I reach the stairs, I reach my breaking point. I sit down on the top of the stairs and hang my head into my hands. I sob quietly, the body wracking, painful sobs that I've been fighting since this damn outbreak began. I take my moment to grieve and cry. When I'm done, I head to the bathroom to clean up. I wipe my face on a towel I found and turn to leave. As I do, Daryl is there; in the doorway, a wild look on his face.

He doesn't say anything, just walks in and closes the door behind him. The only light comes from under the door. My breathing quickens as I feel his hand on my hip and it slowly slides to the small of my back. He pulls me into his body and I'm drowning in his scent; sweat and strength. Tears fall from my eyes, the sobbing begins again. This time any sound I make is muffled by my face being buried in his shoulder.

"Shhh. Autumn yer safe. I ain't gonna let anything happen ok?" he whispers as he rubs his hands up and down my back, my tension melting away with every kneading motion. My hands are grasping his shirt, I can't get close enough. We stand there in the dark; the only sound my sobs and his calming words for at least fifteen minutes. I cry every ounce of energy from my body and my knees weaken, throwing me into his body harder. He steadies me on my feet. My eyes droop heavy. He walks me into the nearest office and helps me lay down on the couch. He covers me with a blanket and sits down in the chair next to me.

"I'm gonna go check in with Rick. I ain't gonna be far. Don't leave this couch. I'll tell Mason." He quietly leaves the room with the soft click of the door.

The moment the door closes, the words he put on repeat in my head do their job. His whispered words calm every nerve in my body. Every ounce of tension and energy leaves me and I fall into the deepest sleep I've had in some time. For once, I didn't have nightmares

**Daryl POV**

I stood at the bottom of the stairs holdin my breath before lookin for Rick. I had no clue what I was thinkin. I saw her sittin there on the stairs, alone, cryin, needin to breakdown but not allowin herself too. Mason was tendin to that wife of his. Jimmy disappeared into one of the bathrooms. Her boy din't need to see her like this. I took the stairs two at a time to reach her in the bathroom as she was tryin to pull herself back together. I let her fall apart.

Rick sees him standin here and comes over. "Where the kids at?" he asks.

"Upstairs with Carol. Everyone down here settled in?"

"Yeah, yeah, Lori and Glenn are cooking dinner for everyone. The doors are secure. We'll take shifts tonight." He says.

I nod and head off to look for Mason.

"Hey Mason, Autumn's layin down for a bit. Eli is with the rest of the kids. " I let him know when I reach him.

"She ok?" he asks.

"Yeah, she's good. Just tired and stressed. I think that hangover caught up with her." I tell him

"Yeah, ok." He says. He's starin at me like he expects more. I just leave him standing there. I head into the kitchen and pour some water from a jug into a bottle of water. There are a few boxes of crackers and some canned soup. I grab some and head back up stairs. I stop by to check on Carol and the kids.

"Hey Daryl" Eli waves me over to where's playing some crazy card game with Carl. I walk over and crouch down next to him.

"Hey kid, mom's gonna take a nap. She's been drivin all day and her eyes are hurtin'. Dad's downstairs. You guys stick with Carol." I like this kid. He's ain't half bad. He don't act like other kids. He's pretty old for his age.

I head back to Autumn's room. She's passed out. I open the can of soup and some crackers. I'll get her somethin to eat later. I eat in the dark; listenin to her slow, even breathing. I put the food on the table next to me. My crossbow is leanin against the leg of my chair and I kick off my boots. I throw a blanket down on the ground and lay down. Rick will wake me for my watch.


	9. Chapter 9

The room is pitch-black when I wake up. My body is sore and empty. Slowly, I push myself into a seated position, my entire body aches and stretches. The entire building is silent, peaceful. My stomach gurgles. I reach out into the darkness feeling around for something to help me out. My hand grips a candle. I dig in my bag next to the couch for a lighter with success. The soft glow from the candle fills the room. On the floor is a make shift bed and I know who it was from. Cautiously, I sneak into the hallway and close the door behind me.

I head down the hall to the room Eli was sleeping in. I open the door without a sound and hold my candle inside the door, glancing around the room. The children are sound asleep, camped out on the floor of the room. Carol is stretched out on the couch. I mentally remind myself to thank her for her help as I close the door and head for the stairs.

Quiet voices reach me and I hear my name. I take a seat on the stairs and listen for a moment. Mason is having a conversation with someone.

"She's not fragile; not in any sense of the word. She just hides too much and it builds until it overflows. She's convinced herself that she can not be weak. There's a lot of guilt on her shoulders and she wears it like a stone. We all watched what she went through. Her mother was in and out of mental hospitals all her life. She was so close to her dad but he was so busy caring for her mother, she often felt the need to take on the world by herself. It was one bad, failed relationship after another. Hell, even I cheated on her. She doesn't blame me, I was young and dumb. Each one broke her more and more. Bryan was the worst of the worst. She survived but only barely. When he was arrested, she turned off a switch. She refused to leave the house; she kept Eli so close he was suffocating. She went about her day as if that night never happened. She's never dealt with it. She made it out alive, but a piece of her, the best piece of her died that night." He sighs. I bite my lip, wondering who he's talking to.

"She's a strong woman." Dale's voice carries through the room. "What about her brother?"

"Tommy's fiercely protective. I called him behind her back. When he found out what Bryan did to both Eli and Autumn, he flew home that night. He tried to help her best he could. He took care of anything for the trial. He went to court in her place so she didn't have to sit in that room with that monster. Bryan was sentenced for attempted murder and sent to rot in prison." Mason explained. "But Tommy couldn't fix her, not all the way. He had to get back to his life here in Atlanta. She's a shell of who she used to be."

"You know we spend our time running from these monsters trying to eat us alive. These things are just acting on instinct. Like Jenner said, the human part is gone. I think we forget that some people have dealt with monsters before this that were worse because they knew what they were doing and meant to do it. She will heal. I know it. She's strong enough. She just needs time." Dale comforted Mason.

"Thanks for letting me talk your ear off Dale. I'm going to go check on Jimmy." I hear Mason walk away. I stand up and head for the common area; my hunger increasing. I need to eat something. Dale is sitting near the fire place, enjoying the heat. His face brightens when he sees me step into the room.

"Hey there. Sleep well?" he asks. I nod as I sink down in the seat next to him.

"I'm actually starving." I tell him.

I jump a little as Daryl shoves a bowl of what looks like some kind of stew in my hands. "Here, I heard you movin around up there so I was gonna bring it up to you." I give him a smile and he heads back to the kitchen where he's standing watch. I hungrily shovel the luke-warm food into my mouth. The mix of heat from the fire and the food melts the chill from my body.

"I heard you and Mason, Dale." I tell him quietly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. He needed an ear and I provided it." He apologizes.

"Don't be sorry. Maybe I needed to hear that. I sometimes don't realize that when I shut down, it doesn't just affect me." I dismiss his apology. I know he wasn't being nosy or digging for gossip.

"He's wrong though. Well a little bit. He defends me too much. Mason thinks that the guilt I carry is unnecessary but it's well deserved. That monster hurt my son and I didn't protect him. I knew what he was doing to me but I thought Eli was safe. 'He's are so well-behaved; he could never make Bryan mad.' I repeated that daily and I convinced myself. I wanted out so long ago but was too weak to leave. Then I came home and what that bastard did to my baby, I could have killed him. It was my fault. It was too late to save him from that pain. Eli wears his scars now and will never escape what happened."

Dale reaches over and grabs my hands. "Evil comes in all shapes and sizes, it sneaks in like a thief or it can crash in suddenly. No one is prepared for it but you can recover from it. You can live your life and move on. Rose Kennedy once said 'It has been said that 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.'" He holds my hand tenderly. "You've been through the ringer; it's ok to admit it hurt. Feeling pain doesn't mean you're weak."

We sit in silence while I finish my food. His words echo in my head. When I'm finished, I step into the kitchen to put the bowl in there. Light from the full moon outside, streams through the window allowing me to see that the kitchen is empty. Daryl isn't in there; he must be in the small hallway near the back door. I stand at the counter, hands gripping the steel surface, allowing it to steady me. My head is spinning. The conversation with Dale makes me miss my dad. I look up when Daryl joins me in the kitchen and leans against the wall leading to the hallway. He doesn't say a word.

"Did the rest of the night go well?" I can deny it all I want but I just want to hear his voice.

"Yeah, I hope it's ok but I taught Eli how to handle the crossbow a bit while you were out. He's a smart kid." He tells me.

"He needs to know how to defend himself. Not just from the walkers." I respond. I'm not sure how much of Mason and Dale's conversation he heard, or my own conversation with the older man for that matter. "Did you get some sleep?" I ask

"Yeah, while Mason was on watch with Rick, I slept for a bit." He answers. I find myself aching to touch him, to be in his arms. That's dangerous. The chill I woke up with returns and I wrap my arms around myself to try and warm up.

"What time are you done with your shift?" I'm curious.

"Actually, I was just about to wake Glenn and T-Dogg. Then I was gonna head upstairs to check on you. You still tired?" he looks worried.

"A little, I could get some more sleep. You?" I can't admit I just want him near me.

"Yeah, I could use a couple hours." We head back into the common area. Glenn is already awake, sitting by the fire with Dale. Daryl heads to T-Dogg's tent. I climb the stairs back to the office I woke up in.

Daryl comes in the room a moment later, two more candles in his hand. He sets them on the table after lighting them. The room is a little bigger than I thought. He strips off his poncho and lays it across the back of the chair. Underneath, he is wearing a tight white tank top that shows off every muscle. I catch a glimpse of scars along his back and don't ask. We all have our demons. He sits down in the chair next to the couch and starts to kick his boots off. I kneel down and help him get them off. He sits frozen at my touch. I try to be gentle.

"Why don't ya get some rest? I'll sit up for a bit if it helps." He offers

"I'll take the floor. You need a good night's rest." I pat a spot next to me on the couch as he shakes his head.

"No way, I'm used to sleepin like that." He argues

"The couch is huge Dixon. We could share it and both get the rest." I suggest, trying to maintain my innocent expression. In all honesty, the only thing I want more than this nightmare to be over is to be curled up against his warm body, safe and secure.

He blushes slightly. "Uh, I'm not sure. . . I mean, is that a good idea?" he stumbles over his words.

"It's just sleep. I'm not asking for your hand in marriage. If you'd rather sleep on the cold, hard floor be my guest." I hope he can't see my disappointed expression.

"Well, I guess it is better than the floor." He concedes as he blows out the candles

I can't help beaming. I turn and curl up on my side. Daryl lies down next to me. I can tell he is unsure of where to put his arm. I reach back, grab his hand and curl it over my stomach. I move closer into his body and my entire body relaxes into his warmth. Once again, his scent drowns me. This time, his normal scent is mixed with the slight smell of burnt logs from the fireplace downstairs. I inhale deeply, imprinting it in my brain. His body relaxes against me. I'm suddenly wide awake.

I turn slowly to face him. I can tell by his hitched breath that he is still awake too.

"Daryl?" my voice barely a whisper, he grunts a half-hearted response.

"You think I'm crazy? I mean, I packed up my entire family to search for my brother. God knows where he is. Was I wrong?"

"Nah. . . I mean all chicks are a little crazy, but you ain't like certifiable or nuthin'" he reassures me as his hand moves up to the middle of my back, pulling me closer. I curl my head under his chin and breathe him in deeper. I'm going nuts.

"Gee thanks Dixon. I'm glad you won't be dropping me off at the next asylum we pass." I push him a little jokingly.

" 's no problem. I do what I can to help." He teases

"Yeah well I'm starting to think this redneck, bad boy act you got going on is your superhero alter-ego. You know, the country version of Bruce Wayne and all that. Redneck bad-ass playboy one minute, swooping in to rescue fragile crazy women the next." He laughs at my comparison.

"Maybe you are crazy." He answers, his laugh eases any tension and I'm suddenly full of courage. I reach up and touch his check gently with my fingertips. His laugh dies down and he is suddenly holding his breath. I tilt my head up and give him a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then my lips find his and I give him a more demanding kiss. His body slowly responds. His hand makes it's way from my back to the back of my head. My head is spinning and I feel drunk on his touch and scent. I break away, needing to breathe.

"Call me crazy all you want Dixon. You've saved me a million times on this trip and for what it's worth, I consider you my hero. No arguments." I tell him.

"Yes ma'am." I can tell he's grinning. I cuddle up into him, he wraps his arms around me and I'm asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I lay on the couch, unwilling to move. Daryl's even slow breathing tells me that he is still asleep. I don't want to disturb him. There's a soft knock on the door and I feel him stir; so much for letting him sleep-in. We untangle ourselves from each other. The knock comes again, more urgent this time. He heads for the door while I throw on my hooded sweatshirt. It smells like him after sitting underneath his poncho all night.

Mason is at the door. When he sees Daryl standing in the door way, looking like he just woke up; Mason's mouth drops open. A furious look passes over his eyes. I know this isn't going to end well.

"Mornin'" Daryl mutters looking uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah. Morning. Can I talk to Autumn?" Mason's trying hard to swallow his anger. Daryl looks at me to gage my reaction. I nod at him and stand up to follow Mason.

"I'll go get some food." Daryl says as he grabs his boots and heads downstairs.

"What's up Mase?" I sit back down on the couch bracing for his anger

"What's going on with you? You're reckless and determined to mess up your life? You just keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again?" he spits out in rage.

"Mason, I love you. I truly do. You've been an amazing father to our son. I appreciate that you stood by me during some very dark times. Thank you for your concern but it's not what you think and I'm not discussing this with you. It's not your business. Nothing happened and you'll be happy to know, I got some sleep finally. No nightmares." I reply calmly. I refuse to let him get under my skin today. I can't fight right now.

He sighs and runs his hand through his shaggy red hair. "I can't watch you break again Autumn. It killed me when you broke the first time. I care about you and want to see you happy-"

"Stop, the words sound good. You may want to see me happy but you're judging the situation for more than it is. Daryl saved my life, more than once. Last night, he saved my sanity. Nothing happened and if it did, I would hope that you would get to know whoever I decide to be with before judging them. Bryan fooled us all. It's frustrating but I can't hold anyone else accountable for the things he did to me. It's my fault, I let him. It's his fault for being evil. No one else is to blame. Stop Mase. Enjoy time with your son. Stop fighting me. Please." I stand up and go about packing up the room again.

"Don't worry about packing; we decided to spend another day here in town. We're going to see what supplies we come up with. Would you like to help?" he's forcing civility but at least he's trying. I nod in agreement. He leaves me in peace. I change my clothes and head downstairs in search of breakfast. Jimmy is finally awake when I reach the kitchen. He's leaning against the window watching Eli run around in the backyard. It's nice to see my son act like a kid again.

I cross the kitchen to stand next to him. He wordlessly puts his arm around my shoulders and I give him a hug. I don't ask him how he's feeling because I can only imagine what he is going through at this time. My brother may still be out there but Jimmy's family is all gone. And Isaiah would still be here if it weren't for my idea to hit the road.

"Did you see his latest comics?" Jimmy asks still watching Eli and Carl toss a ball back and forth.

"Yeah, he's amazing isn't he? A little dark but it's great stuff." I smile at him

"Not what I meant," he leads me over to the table, to Eli's sketch pad. I look through the most recent drawings. The comic is dark, there's a lone superhero that defeats a super villain who targets little kids. The villain carries a whip. My face falls. Eli is still carrying all this pain around with him. I keep flipping through the scenes he's drawn. His talent is undeniable. The last few strips depict a crossbow wielding superhero that rides a black motorcycle. The hero easily protects the characters in the story, killing the villain and saving the day. I can't hide the small smile that creeps over my face.

"You going to tell Dixon?" Jimmy asks.

"Tell him what? That my son thinks he's a bad-ass superhero that is gonna save the world? How do you think he'd take that?" I grin at him before stepping out into the yard to check in with Eli before we head out. He runs over to give me a hug when he sees me standing there.

"Hey kid, what's up?" I ask

"Dad says I have to stay here today, can't I just go with you guys?" he pleads, he's sick of being cooped up all the time. I brush his hair out of his pale blue eyes. He is old enough now and he will be with us.

"Let me talk to dad quick. If he's ok with it, you can come with. But no wandering and no superhero stuff ok?" I tell him. He nods in agreement and goes back to playing with Carl.

I find Mason and let him know that I'm bringing Eli with me. I decided that the direct method is the best. He tries to argue at first but I reassure him I will take him with whoever I end up going with and that we'll keep him safe. He finally agrees but his attitude says he's not happy about it. We gather in the front of the building to split up. Eli and Jimmy are leaning against the Jeep while Rick is talking about the things we need and where we should head. Eli and I are put into a group with Shane. I'm not entirely comfortable with the situation but try to look happy. I hadn't had a chance to talk to him since we left the CDC. Daryl walks over to the Jeep as we're getting ready to head out.

"I'm gonna head out with you guys." He tells Eli.

"Thanks Dixon. It's not necessary if you'd rather head off with Glenn and them." I try to keep my poker-face in tact while we're talking. It puts my mind at ease that he's going to be with us.

"Nah, let's go. Eli, stay right behind me and keep an eye on your ma. I've heard she trips over her own feet." His lopsided grin drives every nerve in my body to insanity. Flashes of our kiss flood over me. An immediately blush rushes through my face. Luckily Eli and Shane read my blush as embarrassment over Daryl's teasing remark.

I toss Daryl the keys to my Jeep and let him drive to the strip mall we passed on the way into town. Eli rides in the passenger seat. He's so excited to be helping the adults. Shane sits next to me in the backseat and we ride in uncomfortable silence. The parking lot is virtually deserted and eerily quiet as we climb out and grab our supplies. Daryl takes the lead through the glass doors to the pharmacy first. Most of the store has been picked through but we grab the minor things left over. I find an aisle that has several sketchpads and coloring books. I grab a few of each, along with some new pencils. Eli will be happy with this stuff.

I sneak down the aisle and turn the corner, running right into Shane's back. I fall backwards on my ass. I shake my head at my own klutzy behavior. I dust my hands off and reach for Shane's outstretched hand.

"All right?" he asks with an amused expression. "You really can trip over your own two feet."

"Yep, it's a skill I mastered as a teenager. I haven't found a use for it yet but I'm gonna keep tryin." I roll my eyes at him.

"You doin all right today?" He asks.

"A little better, I just needed to catch up on sleep." I tell him "Shane, you asked me if this was hard before, traveling with Rachel and Mason. It's only hard if you let it be. If you remove yourself from that situation and treat it as if it doesn't bother you, it eventually doesn't. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies."

"Yeah, I get that." He looks like he is a million miles away

"So how long were you and Lori together before Rick came back?" I whisper. He whips around, glaring at me. "I'm not judging Shane, just thought you could use someone to talk to."

"It wasn't like that ok? I thought he was dead. I wouldn't have done that to my best friend. I'm not that kinda guy. You got me?" his eyes are full of pure hatred but it seems like self-hatred. I place my hand gently on his arm.

"You don't have to explain it to me. I'm the last person in the world to judge someone else's sin. I deal with my own demons, not anyone else's. I just thought you could use a friend." I tell him and he snorts in distrust. "Never mind Shane, I'm gonna go find my son." I walk away irritated.

Eli and Daryl are loading up a backpack with first aid supplies when I find them a few aisles over. Eli is taking his job very seriously and I fight the urge to laugh at him. We finish gathering what we can and decide to move on. We make our way to the small sporting goods shop next door. We're able to pick up more blankets, a couple of new tents and solar powered lanterns. We also find a few propane tanks in the back of the store but we decide to come back for those with Daryl's truck. From the back of the stockroom, we hear a loud bang.

Shane grabs my arm roughly and pulls me in line behind him. Daryl rounds a corner with Eli and joins us. He gives Shane a dirty look when he sees how tight of a grip Shane has my arm in. We move silently through the swinging doors to the stock area.

As we creep closer, we hear whispering. Walker's don't whisper but that doesn't mean we're safe. Slowly, a few back packs come into view. I can hear a man whispering but can not make out what he is saying. The couple comes into view after a few steps and I freeze. I drop the knife in my hand and Shane reaches out to quiet me but I'm already gone. I run over and tackle the blond man standing over the petite brunette curled up in a blanket.


	11. Chapter 11

"Tommy! You're alive!" I can't help the tears streaming down my face as I bury it in my baby brother's sweatshirt. Eli races forward and slams into his uncle full force.

"Oh my God! You're alive. You're alive and you're here." He buries his face in my hair. I notice a scared girl, curled up on the floor. I pull away from him and face her. "Autumn, this is Rylee. We met a few weeks back when I was hiding out in another town. We had her brother with us but . . ." his voice trails off. He doesn't need to finish.

"Uncle Tommy, I don't believe we found you. I can't wait to tell Dad!" Eli is beaming

"Tell dad? Who's all with you?" Tommy turns to me with a confused expression.

"Not tryin to cut this short but we should get back. We have to check in before they send a search party." Daryl interrupts. Tommy looks at him as if he just noticed Daryl and Shane were there. We pack up the supplies in the Jeep along with my newly reunited family. Daryl approaches the vehicle as I'm opening the door.

"Glad you found yer brother." His thick drawl increases my already elated mood.

"I think you might be my lucky charm, Daryl. I might have to keep you around." I tease him

"Lucky charm, hero. Damn woman, you really are crazy." He places his hand on the small of my back and helps me in the vehicle before closing the door. I don't know if Daryl realizes how much that move makes me melt but I can tell Tommy didn't miss the look on my face. He shoots me a quizzical glance. I am grinning ear to ear. I can't help it.

When we pull into the front lawn, Mason and Jimmy come out to help us unload. When Tommy climbs out of the backseat, both guys freeze.

"Look what we picked up in town." I say with a laugh. This is the lightest I've felt in months. I feel almost whole. Everyone is enjoying the good mood. Even Daryl is leaning against the Jeep with a smile on his face. I notice again how sexy he is.

After introductions are made and reunions are had, we all settle into the main hall with the fireplace blazing. Shane is in the kitchen watching the back door. His mood is heavier tonight than most. He stops me when I come into the kitchen for more water.

"You look happy." He says quietly.

"I didn't think we would find him alive. I was afraid for the worst. Of course, I'm happy." I answer. He sighs and shuffles his feet. I can tell something is bugging him.

"You ever just going to be straight with me, Deputy?" I decide that the direct approach is best. "You're going to tear yourself apart chasing something that wasn't yours in the first place. Life is unfair; people come back from the dead now. That's the epitome of unfair, don'tcha think? Rick's your friend, Lori's his wife and it seems she made her decision. Whatever she felt before, I'm sure she doesn't regret it. You kept her alive and safe. You took care of her son. Women can't just ignore those things. She's just scared and confused. I know it's hard Shane, I get it. You need a friend. Let me know if you want to talk."

He looks like he's contemplating what I tell him. I don't expect what he says next.

"I wish he would have stayed dead." The coldness of his tone makes me shiver. He's serious.

"Shane, I am not going to judge you for your feelings but I'm going to give you a piece of friendly advice. Take it however you want. Keep those comments to yourself." I turn on my heel and walk away, right into Daryl. He's staring at Shane over my head.

"Y'all right?" he asks, still not looking at me.

"Yeah, he's just having a rough time." I dismiss Shane's behavior.

Daryl and I walk back to the group surrounding the fire. I sit on the floor, knees pulled to my chest, smiling. Daryl takes a seat in the arm chair that I'm leaning against. My brother is telling everyone how they survived, what happened to them. He explains how every day; more and more walkers have been coming into town. They were planning on moving along tomorrow. We had perfect timing. Eli is sitting next to his uncle, pride and excitement etched on his face. I lean back against the leg of the chair, at peace. Daryl's leg brushes up against my shoulder, sending heat throughout my body. I turn to look up at him and he's more relaxed than he has been since the CDC. Tommy yawns.

"You should turn in little brother. There are a few rooms upstairs not being used. The couches are fairly comfortable." I tell him. Carol leads Rylee up the stairs to help her find some clothes and get her settled in.

"We all should turn in, we're heading out tomorrow. Everyone needs to be on top of their game." Rick reminds us

The group breaks up and heads for bed. Shane and Mason are on first round of watch. Rick tells Daryl to take the night off. Jimmy and Rick will handle the second round of watch. My brother is standing at the bottom of the stairs talking to Mason when I approach; they both drop their whispered conversation.

"What's up boys? It's not nice to whisper about people." I tease them playfully.

"Just filling your brother in on what you've been up to lately." He nods his head toward Daryl. "You still haven't told me what's going on with you and the redneck?"

"We already talked about this. I'm not arguing anymore. Daryl's kept me alive. He's not a bad guy Mase." I try to keep my voice calm.

"Yeah, cuz you're the best judge of character." Mason rolls his eyes

I can't help myself. I slap Mason hard, across the face. "Don't pretend you're any better than anyone else. You couldn't keep your hands off other women while we were together either! Now you're married to one of those girls that were more important than I was. You're not innocent. Get the hell outta my face." I start to head up the stairs. My brother the peacekeeper follows.

"Hey sis. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait one moment. I haven't seen you in months. Just give me a second." He grabs my wrist. "Don't run from me. I'm not judging."

"I'm sorry, I just get so mad at him. Daryl saved me. He's a friend; a good friend. Eli is even at ease with him." I explain

"I get it. Just keep your eyes open. If things don't feel right or look right, get out while you can. That's all I can ask." Tommy gives me a tight hug. Daryl reaches the top stair. Eli bounds up the stairs right behind him. Eli heads to my room with Daryl who helps him make a bed. Tommy watches in awe as he sees how easily Eli's interactions with Daryl are. A look of understanding crosses his face.

Daryl walks back over and leans on the doorway, tank top and loose fitting jeans in place. I can't help but notice every contour of his muscles. I put my hormones in check. We're friends, barely so.

"My sister tells me you've saved her a few times. I should thank you for keeping her safe." Tommy holds his hand out. Daryl firmly shakes it.

"Did ya feed him yer superhero crap?" Daryl grins.

"I might have told him that you swooped in to my rescue once or twice, maybe more." I tease.

"Well, either way. You also got under Mason's skin which is definitely a plus in my book. I love Mason to death and he's a good father but anytime my sister can get her little digs in on him, I like it." Tommy kisses my forehead and heads into the room next door to the one I'm sleeping in.

Eli is already passed out. The shadow from the candles flicker softly on the wall Daryl is sitting in the chair again, feet propped up on the little table in front of him. I sit down on the couch and pull the blanket up around me. It's a little chilly tonight. We sit silently and watch the dancing shadows on the wall.

"Yer hand hurt?" Daryl asks

"Nah, Mason's face is not nearly as hard as it looks." I giggle a little.

"He's right ya know?" Daryl says looking at his hands

"Mason? What?" I'm not sure where he's goin with this.

"I ain't one of the good guys. Not like Rick or Jimmy." He says.

"I don't care how tough you act Dixon. It doesn't matter how mean and cranky you can be, at the end of the day what matters is how you act when no one is looking. You've been great to me. You didn't need to be. I'm just some crazy chick, who on more than one occasion, almost get's herself killed or falls apart at the slightest sip of whiskey." I smile. "You're one of the good guys, no matter what anyone says."

"I think I'll head downstairs and let you sleep." He gets up and heads to the door. I'm right behind him. I put my hand on the door as he goes to open it. I stand in front of him, staring into his eyes. I don't know what words to say. I try to pour everything I want from him into the slight touch of my fingertips on his chest. He looks down at the sleeping form on the floor.

"He's asleep." I whisper. I tilt my head back and step forward, shortening the space between us. I place both my hands on his hard chest lightly and slide them up and around his neck.

"Stay, please. I want you here." I plead gently. I lean forward on my tip-toes and find his lips with my own. The kiss starts off gentle and innocent. When I break from the kiss and look into his eyes, there is something wild there. I'm not frightened. My skin is electrified with anticipation. His hand tangles in the back of my hair and his lips are on mine; hungry and desperate. We make our way to the couch, kissing the entire way. I push him down on the couch and straddle his lap. His hands rub slowly up and down my back, trying to pull me into him more and more.

"We can't. . ." He breaks away from our kiss. Both of us sit in the silence, out of breath and reluctant to stop. I stay where I am on his lap, unwilling to move and lose this moment. I place my forehead against his. I give him a softer, more gentle kiss on the lips. He doesn't stop me. We kiss like this a little while longer. I finally slide off his lap and on to the couch next to him. I sit curled up with my head on his shoulder, leaning in under his arm.

"Why?" he asks out of nowhere.

"Um, why what?" I ask him confused.

"Why'd you ask me to stay?" he asks.

"I want you here Daryl. I feel safe when you're here. Honestly, I've never felt safe in my life. Even as a kid. My mom had her moments. Tommy and I hid from her outbursts but I never felt safe. You make me feel safe." I tell him.

"I heard your argument with Mason earlier. You never answered him." He says

"You mean I never told him what's going on with us? Well, I don't know the answer to that." I tell him honestly. "You've managed to make me speechless Mr. Dixon. That's a rare and incredible feat of death-defying magic."

He doesn't laugh at my attempt to tease him. "We can't do this." He says seriously.

"We can't do what?" I ask.

"Lose control like that. We ain't gonna be together Autumn. Don't get all mad but it just can't be like that." He whispers.

"Oh," I can't hide the disappointment in my face or voice.

"That kind of shit will get ya killed. It makes you lose focus. We can't do that." He says, his mind is made up. He moves to leave again.

"Dixon?" I stop him. "Just stay for tonight. Keep the world away for tonight and I won't press anything else. We'll go back to our friendly banter and you can step in to save my ass once in awhile. Just don't go." I ask, not meaning to beg.

He sighs and joins me back on the couch. We lay down like we did the night before and I find myself melting into him again. This time, I don't fall asleep. I know that when I do finally close my eyes and morning comes, that will be it; just friends. I swallow past the lump in my throat. I won't cry. I didn't lose him. He didn't hurt me. He was honest and he's right. I have more important things to focus on then his haunting eyes and intoxicating scent. I could ignore his sexy saunter and seductive Southern drawl. But just for tonight, I didn't want to ignore those things. I wanted to take full advantage of them. But I couldn't. Instead, I lay there awake; afraid to move, afraid for morning to come.


	12. Chapter 12

**Daryl's POV**

When I wake up the next morning, Autumn and the kids are already downstairs. The room is all packed up and ready to go. I sit up and think back to our conversation last night. I'm doin this for her own good. She needs to forget about me. I ain't good fer her or her kid. And I can't get all messed up with some chick right now. I hear Merle's voice in my head.

_"Nice one baby brother. That piece of ass isn't worth gettin all girly on me now. You ain't her type. Yer too stupid to score one of them high-class bitches. Yer just someone to help her piss off that asshole ex of hers. Yer supposed to be lookin for me." _

I head downstairs to get some food so we can get outta here. I'm ready to keep movin. Jimmy corners me at the bottom of the stairs. He looks better than the last time I saw him.

"Thanks for keeping Autumn alive." He says. "She's the only family, I have left. I wish you could have seen her before everything with her ex."

I knew what he was talkin about. I sat there and listened to everything that sick, twisted son of a bitch did to her and the kid when Mason talked to the old man the other night. It pisses me off that she had to deal with that. I don't say anything to Jimmy. What's he getting at?

"She likes you. She'll die before admitting it to any of us, but she does. She feels something with you that I've never seen her feel before. Whatever it is, it's the only thing that brought her that close to being herself again. I don't care if you're together or you're not. It's not my business. I will tell you though that if you ever get her back to herself, she can make you happy - genuinely, honestly happy. I see it when she looks at you." I just stare at him. What does he expect me to say?

"Uh, I'll keep that in mind." I mumble as I move around him to the kitchen.

Autumn and her brother are on the couch in the main room. She smiles at me as I come through the room. Last night when she was kissin me, pressin herself up against me, I couldn't help myself. Her smile, her voice, her eyes drove me insane. I can't think like that. Too many things can happen if I'm busy starin at her instead of killin walkers. The damn woman needs to quit smilin at me. I stalk off into the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

**Autumn's POV**  
The next day, I decide that I'm just going to fake it. I go about packing up the rooms upstairs while everyone else is eating down in the hall. After I get the last bag down the stairs and have raided the supplies in all the office, Mason silently helps me pack up the cars.

"Mase, I'm sorry I slapped you. It was wrong. I know you're just worried about me. It has been a rough few years. I haven't tried to make it easier." I tell him as we're packing some of the food into the RV.

"I deserved it. I'm an asshole. Rachel made sure I knew that last night." He runs his hand through his hair. "You didn't ask for what Bryan did to you. He fooled everyone. You just had some bad luck."

"Daryl and I are friends. I'm thankful he's saved my life; nothing more." I can fake reassurance like no other. It works.

"I shouldn't have judged him." Mason says but I can see he is clearly relieved at my declaration of friendship.

We finish packing the vehicle and head out. Jimmy and Tommy have easy conversation in the car. Rylee sits beside Tommy, silent. She's barely said two words since we found them. The guys are making plans, catching up on who's gone and who's turned, how quickly everything spread. I participate enough to keep them from asking questions. It's easier than I thought it would be to keep my feelings in check. This morning when I joined everyone for breakfast, I felt Daryl's eyes on me, watching for signs of something in my face. I did the best I could not to give in and show him what he was looking for.

I listen to the guys ramble on about the events at the CDC, including my drunken state and I drift out of the conversation. I don't want to think about that night. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep so no one tries to keep my attention. Jimmy reaches over from the driver seat to rub my arm. I haven't had a moment alone with my friend since Isaiah died. I feel horrible. I made a mental note that when we stopped again, we would spend some time together.

My eyes flutter open when I feel the car come to a stop. We're on a stretch of highway blocked by abandoned vehicles. Daryl rides ahead of the group on his bike, attempting to lead the convoy through the cars littered with bodies. I shiver and roll up the window. The RV stops ahead and a cloud of steam rises from the front end. The cars park and some of the survivors investigate the surrounding cars. Jimmy and I head where everyone is gathering around the RV. I grab his arm and stop him for a moment.

"How you doin Jameson?" I search his face for tell-tale clues.

"It hurts but for now, I'm moving. I'm breathing and if I fall apart, I let this world win. My brothers would kill me if I let that happen. I refuse to lose myself along with everything else I've lost." His voice has a ghostly quality. He's aged so fast in a short amount of time.

"I'm sorry Jimmy. I shouldn't have asked you to come with me." I apologize to him.

"Hey, we wouldn't have missed this for the world. Who else gets to mark off zombie road trip from their bucket list?" I laugh

"I love you more than I can say." I tell him as I wrap my arm around his waist and we turn to join the group.

"I like me too." He whispers giving me a look of pure immaturity. I dig my elbow into his side.

The hose is gone on Dale's RV. Shane decides we should look for supplies. I can't help but agree. We break into groups and start rummaging through vehicles. Jimmy and I are able to find clothes, some food and some medical supplies. A short distance away, Shane finds a water delivery truck. Glenn hollers in celebration.

As we're gathering more clean clothes with Carol and Lori, I see Rick give Mase orders and run toward us. Mason runs to the Jeep where Eli is sketching in the back and climbs in. I hear the latch of the door from where I am. Rick reaches us and gives us frantic whispered directions to get down. Jimmy and I jump in the back seat of an empty Buick and close the doors. We both crouch down on the floor. The windows are closed and the car is stifling in the heat of the afternoon. I start to see walkers pass by the windows. There are so many of them.

"We just need to stay put and be quiet." He says calmly.

"Eli, Tommy. . . " I start, trying not to hyperventilate

"Mason ran to the Jeep. He'll keep Eli safe. Tommy and Rylee heard Rick's warning." He tells me.

"Jimmy, I'm sorry I've been such a pain in the ass. I never meant for anyone to get hurt." Apparently it's confession time.

"I'm not your priest." He teases me. "I haven't been that great either. Otherwise, I would have noticed all this stuff going on with you and Dixon."

"We're just friends." I tell him emotionless. "Daryl and I decided that we were friends. It's better that way. No one gets hurt. I keep my focus on my son. Mason's happy, Daryl's happy, Eli is happy. It's a no-lose situation." I repeat the words I've been trying to convince myself of since we left this morning.

"And are you happy?" he asks

"That's a foreign concept Jimmy. I don't need happiness. Seeing Eli survive and grow up. Hoping that civilization and Mother Nature will hit the reset button letting us survive. That's happiness. I'm not going to get that from any guy. Dixon's a great guy but I don't need a guy. I'm stronger now." I argue in a whisper.

"Yeah, that makes sense. You don't need anyone, you're putting everyone else's happiness in front of your own, you deny how you feel. Nothing's more convincing than those clichés." His sarcastic nature comes through. "It's the same stupid speech that every woman in those stupid chick flicks you laugh at gives to try and convince everyone and herself, that she doesn't love whoever the hunk of the week is. Damn, you are one stupid soundtrack away from being a Katherine Heigel movie."

I can't help but laugh. We hear a scream from outside. Carol is outside the car screaming for Sophia. We jump up and look out the windows. The walkers have passed but Carol is crying near the shoulder. Lori explains that two walkers chased Sophia into the woods. Rick went after her. I run back to Eli. I don't stop even when I see Daryl helping T-Dogg to the RV with blood all over him. I need to see my son. I knock on the window of the Jeep. I'm out of breath and my legs burn.

"It's me Mase, it's all clear." I call through the door. He unlocks it and I climb into the hatch. I cover my son in a hug and check him over. I comfort him, feeling him shake in fear. Mason and Jimmy head back out to the road to help search for Sophia. I gently rock my son humming to him to calm him down. Sometimes I forget how young he is; how fragile he still is. Eli silently cries himself to sleep.

When reach the rest of the group, Rick is back but he is empty-handed. Daryl, Shane and Glenn decide to head out with him to help look for the little girl. Tommy, Mason and Jimmy go back to searching cars for supplies. Daryl passes by me to get something from his bike.

"Be careful out there Dixon." I tell him.

"I know how to track. Don't worry bout me. I'm at home out in the woods." His answer is cold

"Yeah, well I'm sure you'll find her." I try to keep my tone casual, determined to show him that being friends is enough. He stalks off into the woods with the other guys. I go back to scavenging in cars while we wait.

Sometime later, Shane and Glenn return back to the highway. They explain that Rick and Daryl are following a lead. The group splits up chores to get back on the road. We set to our tasks in relative silence. Some people are still on edge after the passing herd. I don't want to talk about it. I needed to concentrate on making sure my son is safe. Eli is helping

"Hey there." I greet him as he joins me.

"Dad said I can help out as long as I stay right by you or him. He said I'm old enough." He explains

"Sure you are." I hide the sadness that his words leave on my heart.

"Where's Daryl?" he asks

"He's out lookin for Sophia with everyone else, kid."

"Think they'll find her?"

"Sure, Daryl's an excellent hunter. He'll track her down and bring her back safe and sound. I will myself to believe the words.


	13. Chapter 13

The breeze sweeps through our stretch of highway and the fresh air clears away the stagnant smell of the dead bodies spread across the road. I sat on the warm metal of the RV roof as the sun dipped low behind the trees. I watched the edge of the trees impatiently waiting for Rick and Daryl to return. Shortly before the sun goes down, they return, empty-handed. Carol's right there demanding answers. Relief washes over me until I see the blood soaked shirt Daryl's wearing.

I race off the RV trying not to attract attention or fall. Daryl is explaining that the blood covering him was from a walker they gutted to make sure he hadn't found Sophia. I can't take my eyes off of him as he tells us about the failed attempt to save Sophia. Carol begs them to find her daughter. She's desperate and my heart breaks for her.

"Ain't no good to search in the dark. 's too dangerous." Daryl explains to the distraught woman. Lori walks away comforting Carol on her way to Carol's Cherokee. We decide to pick up the search in the morning. Rylee and Rachel bring out dinner and we eat separately. After dinner, I tuck Eli in to the Jeep and head back to the RV. Daryl's there, leaning against the RV, talking to Glenn. As I grab the ladder to climb up with Dale.

"Glad you're safe." I tell him without making eye contact. "We'll find her tomorrow."

"Ain't you goin to bed?" Daryl asks

"Nah, I'm taking watch with Dale." I answer

"With no gun?" he questions.

"Don't worry, I gotta knife. Dale's gotta gun." I reassure him without conviction. I turn to climb up the RV.

I enjoy spending time with Dale. His company is comforting. We discuss every meaningless topic we can cover; what I did before the outbreak, my family, his wife, his life. He laughs as I tell him about my days as a soccer mom. The conversation is easy and continuous but I'm a million miles away. I'm keeping my eyes on Daryl who's pacing along the side of the road; itching to get back out there and look for Sophia

"And then I jumped a motorbike through a ring of flames and over a pit of snakes." Dale continues.

"That must have been amazing." Obviously distracted.

"All right, what's going on?" he asks

"I'm sorry Dale. I guess I'm just worried about Sophia." My gaze doesn't leave Daryl's shadow in the distance.

"Mind if I ask what's going on with you Daryl?" Dale presses

"He's a great friend." I leave it at that. I keep my face set in the same smile I've given everyone else all day. I'm working hard to convince Dale and everyone else that this is what I want, trying to convince myself the most.

"Yeah, friends." He nods at me with a disbelieving look. "I see that, but what do you really want?"

"I want my kids to be safe, my family. I don't want to spend every waking moment for the rest of my life watching my back. I've spent most of my life that way. I just want to live now. " I tell him staring at my feet.

"Living is only living if you have love. That's what life is all about, love. The pursuit of it, the protection of it, the enjoyment of it; love is powerful." Dale's sage wisdom.

"I have love Dale. I have more than my fair share, more than I deserve." I tell him

"Love from family is great. I will give you that. Why limit who and how many can love one person? That love is formed and grown over time." His words gnaw at me.

"Dale, you're talking to the wrong person. We're just going to have to agree to disagree." I'm desperate to change the subject and he realizes that. Our conversation goes back to the easy storytelling and this time, I pay attention to every word; trying to ignore the feelings our conversation stirred.

Shortly after, Mason and Tommy climb up to relieve us of watch duties. Dale heads in right away but I stay to talk to the guys for a few minutes. My muscles are exhausted from the day as I climb down the ladder. My foot slips on the bottom rung and I start to fall. Strong arms catch me and help me steady myself.

"Thanks Dixon; another daring rescue from my own personal hero." My attitude seeps through the words. I head to the Jeep to get some sleep.

"I din't mean to piss ya off." He calls after me. I dismiss the sentiment with a wave of my hand as I walk away.

The next morning, our group gathers at the edge of the woods, preparing to start the search again. Rachel is there, next to Mason. I pull him off to the side.

"She should stay here. Rylee is staying with Eli." I whisper.

"She needs to learn how to survive. This world is killing her and she needs to learn how to manage it." He makes a good point. My worry doesn't fade.

"She's good with Eli. Please, don't do this. My gut says it's a bad idea." I plead with him.

"Leave it. She's coming." He turns away

We split into groups and head off in search of Sophia. Jimmy and Tommy are close behind me as I take the lead for our little group. I'm walking slowly, listening to them debate the status of rap in the music world. It's a common argument and completely meaningless now but it's how they cope. I tune them out and concentrate on searching for Sophia. My mind wanders to the electricity I felt last night when Daryl caught me as I fell.

What in the hell made him think I needed his help? Klutzy is my nature; I'm used to tripping over my own two feet. I'm doing just fine without his help. Stupid redneck. I don't need a damn thing from him.

"Think she's all right?" Tommy whispers

"I don't even try to know. She's been cranky since her & Daryl . . . well since they had an argument or whatever it was." Jimmy answers. I didn't notice their conversation turned to me.

I whip around, knife in hand, face full of the anger that I was feeling. Both of them freeze, mid-conversation.

"I'm saying this once and that's it. Nothing happened with Daryl & I. I'm super thankful he happened to be in the right place at the right time a few times but that's it. Nothing more. Are we clear? I don't wanna hear this shit again." I stomp away.

"Yep, she didn't get any." Jimmy whispers. I roll my eyes at their laughter and ignore them.

A piercing scream came from the direction that Mason headed with Rachel. At the same time, church bells ring somewhere close. My instinct pushes me in the direction of Mason. My heart races as I sprint wildly and blindly through branches toward that scream. I drop to my knees as I come to a small clearing. Mason's crouched low the ground. There's a body. At first glance, I think it's a walker but then I see that he is sobbing, uncontrollably. Rachel. I run to Mason's weakened body and fall down next to him.

Rachel's lifeless body is unrecognizable. The dead walker laying two feet away, tore through her body and ripped her apart. I pull Mason into my lap and he is covered in her blood.

"Shhh, Shhh, Mase, I'm here. Shh." I repeat these words over and over, rocking him back and forth. His body is convulsing in sobs. Jimmy kneels down to speak in my ear.

"I'm going to stay here, with Mason; try to get him back to the trailer. I'll have him change in the RV so Eli doesn't freak out. You & Tommy head toward those bells." Jimmy instructs. He's seen so much loss.

Tommy pulls me away from Mason and wraps a protective arm around my shoulder. He guides me away from the horrific scene. We hike along in silence. My mind is rushing. What am I going to tell Eli? Rachel loved him. How was Mason going to survive this? Rachel saved him, made him grow up. All these thoughts make me dizzy. I stumble into the clearing of the church and fall to my hands and knees. My stomach is rolling. I look down and realize my clothes are covered in Rachel's blood, my arms and body, it's everywhere. The sight sends me over the edge. I heave violently and sob.

Rick's group enters the clearing from the other direction. I pay no attention as they rush the church. The ringing bells echo through the air. My stomach empty's and I'm dry heaving as I sob uncontrollably. My head is reeling. Daryl and Rick rush over to me. Rick sees all the blood and my stomach contents in the grass. He pulls Tommy away and questions him. My sobs and breathing slowly return to normal. I sit up with my head between my knees trying to gain my composure.

"Y'all right?" Daryl asks. I ignore him.

When I'm sure I won't pass out, I slowly raise my head. Tommy's sitting on the grass next to me. Rick, Shane and Daryl are a short distance away discussing the next step. I stand up and make sure I am able to walk without help before heading into the church. Carol is in there already. I sit in a pew, far enough away so that she has her privacy. Everyone needs something to hold onto right now. I take my time sitting in the church; waiting for the group to make a decision.

Tommy finds me to let me know that we're heading back to the highway. Rick, Shane and Carl are going to continue the search. Numbly I follow him back through the woods. Carol is frustrated. Daryl's uncomfortable that the group was split up. Andrea and Lori are arguing over guns and respect. I look around the group and suddenly, I'm furious and disgusted. We've lost people, it's because we were stupid, weak and here they all were, weakening the group further. I'm fed up and head off in front of the group without a word. In the distance, we hear a gunshot.


	14. Chapter 14

Daryl calmed everyone down and kept the group moving after the gunshot. The tension in the group as we head back to the highway is heavy. Everyone is lost in their own thoughts. As we near the highway, Andrea is attacked by a stray walker. She screams and loses her balance. We all rush back to help her but we're not close enough. I close my eyes not able to withstand that sight again right now. A giant blur races between us and Andrea, knocking the walker off of her. A woman on a horse with a baseball bat stops in front of us.

"Lori Grimes?" she asks. Lori steps up timidly.

The woman tells Lori that Carl has been shot. Rick apparently took him to their farm. Carl was being worked on. Rick sent this woman to get Lori. She gives us directions to get to the farm. We rush back to the highway. Mason is sitting on the back of one of the abandoned vehicles, my leftover bottle of Jameson in hand. His eyes are still full of tears but he's about three shots from being completely numb.

His feet are planted on the bumper of the Monte Carlo he's perched on. I stand in front of him, silent. There are no words. I grab the bottle from him and take a long swig.

"You were right." He says; his voice is hoarse.

"Not the time Mase." I tell him, "When you and Rachel met, Jimmy and I would joke about what you saw in her. Overtime, when I saw her with our son, her gentleness and patience, I knew she wasn't just someone you loved. You needed her. It's ok to fall apart, it's your turn." I press a soft kiss to his forehead as he slides off the car, crying again. I stand there, holding him for a long time.

Carol comes over to us and takes my spot comforting Mason for the night. I hand him off to her gently and thank her for the help. She's been so supportive. Jimmy and Tommy come over to let me know that part of the group is going with Glenn and T-Dogg to the farm the lady took Lori too.

"I need you guys to take Eli. I'm staying here, I think Mason should too. Take him to the farm with Rylee. We'll meet you there with everyone else in the morning." Jimmy is watching me as I calmly tell them what I want them to do. "Keep my boy safe."

"Yeah, we'll go." He agrees.

Tommy gives me a hug and doesn't let go. I'm once again thankful for my brother. I catch sight of Rylee over his shoulder. She needs some rest; I feel that she's about ready to pass out. Tommy comes with me to break the news to Eli. He doesn't ask questions, only sheds a few tears. This new world is making my baby cold. I feel more of the anger from before rush over me. I kiss him goodnight and tell him to be good.

The group heads off to the farm. We settle in for the night. Mason has finally passed out in the RV below. I've been perched on top of the RV alone since everyone left, sleep is a foreign concept. The cold doesn't even bother me tonight. It's almost completely dark with no light coming from the sliver moon. Carol's crying below reaches my ears. What I wouldn't give for a pair of headphones right now.

The RV door slams shut and Daryl stalks off toward the road. Andreas is a short way behind him, ready to follow him back out to the woods. Something inside of me roars in fury. I ignore it, keeping an eye on the two as they head to the road. Dale tries to stop them, unsuccessfully. He heads back to the RV clearly irritated and climbs up to sit down near me. We don't say a word. It's uncomfortable angry, silence that he finally breaks.

"You should get some sl. . . " he starts to say.

"No offense Dale. I'm not going to bed tonight. Every time I close my eyes, I see my family dying. If it's ok with you, I'll just sit here quietly." I interrupt; my voice full of pain and anger. He stands up, hands me his rifle and heads back inside. I pull the gun across my lap and stare out into the dark.

Sometime later, Daryl and Andrea return without Sophia. Carol is still weeping for her daughter. Dale stops Andrea and they have a conversation, not as tense as before. I overhear Andrea say that she is taking watch. I climb down from the RV quickly and quietly. I climb onto the back of the care Mason fell apart on earlier. I leaned back against the rear window and stared up at the sky. Daryl stops by the car.

"How's Mason?" he asks

"He just lost his wife. How do you think he is?" I snap more than I mean to and sigh when I realize it. "Look, you were right Daryl. I have to focus on surviving now. Us, where we were going? It was trouble. Either way it would have ended badly. Look at Mason, Carol, Andrea, Jimmy. This is a whole new world. There's no room to be weak or stupid."

"Yer not weak or stupid." He says.

"Doesn't matter. Love makes you both. I can't afford to be pathetic anymore. No wonder Bryan found me. He was lookin for someone he could abuse, someone too fragile to stop him and someone who couldn't even protect her own children. He found me and knew instantly what he could do to me and I let him. Do you understand that? I let him control my every move up until I met you. He wasn't even there and I still let my fear of him, weaken me. I put my children at risk, my family is torn in two and it's my fault." I'm too far into my rant to stop. "I'm done. No more. I'm sick of being weak."

I lay back down on the window, finished with this conversation. He walks away without a word. I lay there, lost in my thoughts until the sun rises. The sun paints the sky vivid with color and light. I sit up and stretch. It's time to get to the farm. I head into the RV and check on Mason. He's still passed out and I decide not to wake him. I start searching for something to leave a message with.

I use white shoe polish someone found to paint a sign for Sophia on one of the cars nearest to the woods. Dale helps me to clean the car out and we leave it unlocked for her to hide in if needed. We leave her some food and supplies. Daryl climbs on to his motorcycle and leads us in the RV to the farm to meet up with the rest of the group.

**Daryl's POV**

We turn off into the driveway and close the gates behind us. We make our way to the farmhouse ahead, parkin near everyone else's vehicles. They've already set up some of the tents. I park my bike and look around. This place ain't so bad. Glenn fills us in on what's been goin on at the farm. The family is gettin ready for a funeral. Autumn doesn't stick around for the conversation. She heads to her Jeep and climbs in the back.

Jimmy is standin a short distance away, tryin to set up a tent. I walk over to help.

"How were Mason and Autumn last night?" he doesn't waste time.

"Mason got shitfaced, he deserved it. He passed out early. I don't know about Autumn." I answer

"Don't worry, she'll be all right. She's tough." He says

"I'm not sure man, she ain't thinkin straight right now. She thinks she's been actin weak." I shake my head.

The door of the Jeep slams shut as she comes back out. She's on a mission. I watch as she marches over to Shane and pulls him aside. Whatever they're talkin about, she looks pissed. I watch Shane hand her something and she stomps toward the woods.

Shane watches her walk away with a weird look. He's runnin his hand over his shaved head. He walks over to Jimmy.

"You may want to talk to her." Shane tells Jimmy. "She's heading out to look for Sophia."

"Like hell she is." I tell them both. I grab my bow and race after her.

"You ever hear of the buddy system?" I ask her as I catch up to her.

"No one asked you Dixon. I wasn't the one who turned on the bat signal. Tell Shane to worry about his own damn problems. I asked him for a gun, not his interference." That stops me.

"Thought you din't carry a gun?" I ask. She stops for a moment, but doesn't look at me.

"Yeah, well shit happens. I can't keep my kid alive without one. My dad taught me to shoot. We used to spend every Saturday at the range. I'm actually pretty good, a little rusty maybe but I'll get used to it." She starts walkin again, headin to the woods. Shit, I can't let her go alone. I look back to the farm to see if Tommy or Jimmy are headed this way to follow her.

"Wait, I'll go with you. Let me run back and get a few things." She nods and I take off back for the house.

I run into Rick and Tommy as I get back to my tent. I grab some bolts and a pack to take with us. They watch me as I hurry to leave.

"You don't have to do this Daryl." Rick says. "We can do it as a group." I shrug. I can't just sit around and now that Autumn's goin, with or without me, I better make sure she's safe.

"You don't owe us anything." Rick tells me

"Yeah, my other plans fell through." I answer. I turn to Tommy. "You need to talk to Jimmy and Shane."

"Listen Daryl, I don't know what happened between you and my sister and I couldn't care less honestly but be careful with her. She's not as weak as she thinks she is. But if you break someone enough times, they shatter. I can't have that happen to her, I need her. Elijah needs her. I see the way she relaxes around you, the way she moves and speaks around you. You need to keep talking to her. She needs you, even if she says she doesn't." That's the most he's said to me.

"I gotta go." I tell him and race off to where I left Autumn. She is waitin, impatiently.

"Bout time." She says before heading into the woods in front of me.

**Autumns POV**

I creep silently through the trees. Daryl's not more than 5 feet away from me. I had hoped to make this little trip alone. I couldn't stand to sit at camp. Eli was fine. Tommy and Jimmy were setting up tents and tending to Mason. They didn't need me right now.

We've been walking in silence the entire time. It irritates me that I'm so comfortable with Daryl. I shouldn't allow myself to be this way with him. It's just going to get me killed. Through the trees, I see a white house ahead. I look to Daryl to make sure he saw it too. We both make our way toward the house. I let him lead his way into the house and follow close behind him, holding my breath. We search the house. In the hallway, there is a recently opened and empty can of sardines lying on the floor. I open the closet door nearby and there is a makeshift bed in the tiny crawl space. Only a child could have fit in here. Sophia had to be close by. Daryl and I both head outside, calling her name as loud as we dare. Daryl heads around the front of the house as I explore the nearby tree line looking for some clue that she had been there. After searching without luck, I turn back to find Daryl. He is bent over some shrubs with his knife out. I watch as he trims a few white flowers from the shrub and puts them in his pack. He heads over to where I stand.

"It's gettin late. We need to head back before it's dark. We'll pick up the search in the mornin." We head off back toward the Greene farm.


	15. Chapter 15

As we return to the farmhouse, the sun is low in the sky. We haven't spoken to each other during the hike back to camp. He goes to update Carol in the RV. I head off to check on Mason. I find him sitting on a log by his tent, enjoying a low campfire. He has aged over the last two days. The effects of his hangover are minor compared to the pain that's obvious on his face.

"Mase, did you eat?" I ask as I sit down next to him. I place my hand on his.

"Yeah, Carol gave me some bread and some kind of stew that she made." His voice is low and raspy. "Thank you for telling Eli. I had no clue what I was going to say to him."

"It's no problem." I reassure him

"We can't fight anymore. We just can't. I'm going to respect the fact that you're not fragile and back off but please, for his sake, let's just stop with the tension." He sighs

"We can do that. We've never had a problem until this road trip from hell. I'm sorry Mase. . . "

"Nope, stop. If we would have stayed in Wisconsin, holed up in your house or mine, the same things could have happened, even worse, who knows. You saw how that herd moved on the highway. If they had come through our town, we could have been overrun. Besides, all you did was ask us to come with. I had a choice." He interrupts.

He puts his arm around me and kisses my forehead. We sit huddled like that for a while, until the Eli joins us. He sits between us and tells us about his day on the farm. Apparently he was in the stables visiting the horses most of the day. Herschel's daughter Beth showed them how to brush a horse. Across the fire, Daryl is sitting, eating his dinner. As I listen to my son gush about his new found love of horses, I stare at him across the fire. I have to admit, if only to myself, that there is a part of me that wants to run to him, be with him but I shove that thought away. Something about his eyes doesn't allow me to turn my attention away.

"Hey Eli, you wanna hang out with me tonight? Spend the night in my tent?" Mason breaks my trance. "Not sure I really want to sleep alone tonight." Eli nods and helps his dad to the tent.

Jimmy had set up my tent earlier for me. I head into it and change into my sweats and tank top. I pull a hooded sweatshirt over the tank top and head back out by the fire. I am no where near tired. My body feels the affects of my lack of sleep but I can't bring myself to close my eyes for even a moment. When I tried, images of Devin, Isaiah and Rachel rush at me. Not images of them alive, happy; images of them torn apart, bleeding, gone. There is no life in their eyes.

When I return to the fire, everyone else has gone to bed. Daryl is still sitting in front of the flames. I hesitate to join him. The chill in my bones convinces me to sit.

"You ain't goin to bed?" he asks

"Nah, I'm good." I tell him. I'm not looking for conversation. Even with the fire, the night air sends a shiver through me. Daryl notices and puts another log on the fire. The effect is immediate but not enough. We sit there for awhile longer. The animals around us make occasional noise but otherwise the farm is silent. My nerves are on fire and I can't stand sitting anymore.

"Uh, I'm gonna take a walk. Just in case anyone asks." I tell him. I grab an oil lantern and head down the driveway a short way. The sound of footsteps behind me is unmistakable.

"I don't need an escort." I tell Daryl as he falls in line next to me.

"Hey, I'm just tryin to live up to my superhero status." He teases; the sexy grin he gives me stirs feelings in the pit of my stomach. Ignore them, keep walking and don't look at him. I repeat the words in my head while we walk in silence. I replay the events that have happened since we stumbled on their camp. No matter how hard I try, I can't forget the night at that town hall. The effect that Daryl Dixon has on me is incredible and undeniable. I'm not sure I can or even want to fight it.

**Daryl's POV**

I swear, this woman is goin to be the death of me. We couldn't just sit by the fire, safe and sound. Nope, she feels like takin a walk. She's silent, starin at her feet the whole way down the driveway. I can't take it anymore.

"What's goin on with you?" I ask her. She stops. I stand in front of her while she stares at her feet.

"I just can't do this anymore Daryl. I can't stand losing anyone else; no more. I just don't think I can hold on to my sanity. I just figure the less that I care, the less I'm going to fall apart. The less I fall apart, the safer everyone else is gonna be." She tells me. It's close to what I told her that night we kissed. I cross my arms in front of me, starin at her as she refuses to look at me.

"That's selfish" I tell her. No use in sugar coatin anything. Her head shoots up to look at me, she's pissed.

"Selfish! You want to talk about selfish? Didn't you recognize my little speech, Dixon?" she's cute when she's mad. "It's the same damn thing you said to me when you pushed me away."

"Yep and I was wrong. I ain't perfect! I ain't no superhero like you seem to think, sweetheart." I bring my face close to hers, forcin her to look at me. Her eyes are bright, I realize how sexy she is. I want to rip every piece of clothing off of her. She licks her lips and I can't help it. I grab her face with my rough hands and kiss her hard. Part of me is angry with her for actin like this, the other part of me wants to help her, heal her. She gives in easily, kissing me back. She wraps her arms around my neck and I move my hands to her hips, I pull her into me. I want to feel every part of her. Her sweatshirt creeps up her back, exposing her skin. My hands take full advantage, working their way up her bare back to her shoulders. I start kissin her neck; the skin is soft and sweet. She moans a little pushing her body into mine. We can't do this out here. I break away for a moment. I need to catch my breath.

"Daryl?" The way she says my name drives me over the edge. I kiss her lightly on the neck again, not ready to stop even if I know we have to for a minute. "Just stop." She pushes me away. "I can't. . . you were right, I have to focus on my son. I have to be strong. You make me weak, weak in the knees, weak in the stomach, weak in the head. I just can't ok." I stand there dumbfounded as she walks back to her tent.


	16. Chapter 16

I sit awake in my tent all night. My heart and mind at odds with one another. Every once in a while, my body chimes in with an opinion too. The memory of his hands on me and the taste of his lips drive me to the edge of sanity; almost tempting me to run back to his arms and let my hormones take over. But he was right. I can't afford to be weak. Being weak got me here, lost and dying. I've put myself and my family at risk. I helped kill two people. I may not have pulled a trigger but they died because of me. I couldn't stand to lose anyone else.

By the time the sun rose, I was ready to get back out in the woods to look for Sophia. I dressed warm, put the gun Shane gave me in my waist band. The cool metal felt odd against my skin. Yesterday when I asked for it, I surprised no one more than myself. I couldn't deny it anymore. I couldn't chance being caught in the woods by a walker like Rachel. My son couldn't lose anymore. The insane thoughts just played on repeat in my head, over and over until I saw red.

I head out of the tent; bag packed and I join Rick and Shane looking over a map. They're marking off areas for each group to search. Daryl joins us at the same time. He's obviously pissed off. Great, this should be fun. I ignore him and the giant chip on his shoulder listening to Rick and Shane. Tommy and I team up, leaving Eli with Mason and Jimmy for the day. My brother gets ready while I wait impatiently near the tree line for him. My nerves are officially shot. I can't take much more of just standing here. He finally joins me and we take off.

We walk for some time before he tries to talk to me. "What's going on AJ?" He uses his childhood nickname for me.

"Just lookin for this girl. These woods aren't safe and if it were my kid, I'd be freaking out." I reply in monotone.

"Right. Ok, I get that." He doesn't say more and I leave it at that.

The woods are fairly silent as we make our way through. I keep hoping that we'll just stumble upon Sophia hiding in some trees or brush. When we stop for a break, I'm frustrated. Tommy notices.

"That's it. I'm not taking another step until you tell me what's going on with you sis. I've watched you since Rachel died. You're slowly retreating back to that place you hid out in before. I couldn't stay with you before and honestly, I didn't know what to do then but you're insane if you think I'm gonna do it again." He is obviously upset.

"Tommy, I just can't do this anymore. I can't live my life allowing myself or my son to get hurt again. It's survival of the fittest right?" I don't even want to talk about this right now.

"Cut the bullshit AJ. I'm sorry but that's exactly what this is and you know it. You want to know what's weak? Weak is fighting everyone that loves and cares about you, weak is shutting yourself down so that you avoid pain. That's fucking weak. You want to take the easy way out, forget how to feel, forget how to love. Fine do it but don't think that it makes you any stronger." He gets up and heads back to the farmhouse. I don't follow him at first. His words hit home. He's wrong and I know it. I slowly head back toward the house.

I spend the rest of the day hanging out with my son. We're sitting on the porch looking over his latest sketches when Rylee finds us. I haven't had a chance to talk to her one on one yet.

"Hey kiddo, your uncle and dad are looking for you." She tells Eli quietly. He leaves his sketchbook with me and heads off. Rylee takes the seat next to mine.

"Hey AJ. I was hoping I'd get to talk to you." Apparently, my brother's talked to her about me.

"What's up Rylee?" I ask skeptical.

"Your brother saved my life. He helped me keep it together after my brother was attacked." She looks down at her hands. "I don't know what I would have done without him." I see how much she adores him and it clicks that these two are more than friends. I'm happy for my brother.

"I'm glad you two found each other." I tell her.

"I wasn't finished." Her voice grows slightly cold. It throws me off. "I don't sugar coat things and I'm not going to start with you. Your brother is trying to help you and I understand not wanting to lose anything or anyone else. But you have to quit shutting people out. It's selfish and you're only hurting them more." She was right about not sugar coating things. I should be furious with her, but she's trying. She is honest and her feelings are genuine. I spend so much time telling myself that the others are wrong about me; blaming myself.

"Rylee, now I'm really glad you found my brother. He needs someone like you; someone that will obviously call him out on his bullshit. My weaknesses killed people I love-" I start before she holds up her hand to stop me.

"Yeah so you say. Those so-called weaknesses also kept your son alive from what I hear. You're a badass AJ. You're brother, Jimmy, Mason, they all told me how absolutely stubborn and fierce you could be. So use that but don't shut everyone out in the process. Caring doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. If we lose that, we might as well be walkers." She gives me a quick hug before walking away. I'm speechless. I make a quick decision and follow the girl.

"Rylee, wait up." She turns to face me, her face is clearly irritated. She thinks I'm going to fight her on this. "Want to talk for a bit? I need some girl talk." I tell her, she's clearly surprised. She nods her head and we walk toward the fence along the driveway. I tell her about what happened with Daryl last night.

"You're insane, you know that? I like your brother and all but that redneck is majorly sexy. Why did you push him away?" I laugh at her and shake my head.

"Honestly, at the time, it seemed right. It seemed like the smartest decision in the world. You've seen him. He's not the most approachable guy. I should be afraid of him right?"

"No, you shouldn't. Daryl will never bring you flowers and he may never hold your hand in public but he will make sure that when you close your eyes, you're safe. What else matters now?" I like her more and more with each word.

Andrea yells from her spot on the RV and we both turn to follow her stares. She's pointing toward a silhouette near the trees. A lone walker is making his way toward the house. Andrea poises to shoot him but Rick stops her and tells her to put down the gun. Rick, Glenn and T-Dogg run through the field weapons drawn. The guys stop short of the walker and I realize at that moment that it's Daryl. He is filthy and he looks hurt.

I look at Rylee for a moment and she motions for me to go. I run toward him at full speed, worried he may be seriously hurt. At that moment, a shot rings out across the field. In slow motion, I watch as Daryl falls to the ground. Rick screams. Glenn looks up just as I make it to where they stand. I drop down over Daryl's body.

"I was kidding." He says to Rick and his eyes close.

"No, no, no. Daryl!" I'm screaming. Rick and Glenn carefully pick up Daryl and run with him toward the farmhouse. Rylee has made it to where I'm kneeling. She pulls me up off the ground and helps me back toward the house. Everyone else gathers at the front porch. Andrea is the last to join us.

"YOU STUPID BITCH!" I scream as I lunge at Andrea. Tommy pulls me back. "Are you deaf and stupid? I don't care what kind of sick, twisted death wish you have for yourself but you better stop before you kill someone else instead. Some of us want to survive, damnit!" Dale pulls Andrea back toward the RV. I rush to the house.

Rick greets me in the doorway. "Give him a minute or two. Herschel's looking at him. He's going to be ok." Rick reassures me.

"Hey, you need to calm down before you go talk to him. Come on." Shane grabs my wrist and pulls my arm, leading me out the door. We head out to an abandoned field.

"Did that _feel_ good?" His anger throws me off a little. "Happy now?"

"Whoa, what the hell . . . "

"I just need to know if you feel better now that you just went off on her." He's looking down at his hands.

"I don't know, I guess I wasn't doing it to feel better." I answer, this discussion is confusing.

"We stand around here all day, talking, looking, acting, lying to each other for no reason. I've been telling Rick we need to move on and now Daryl's hurt." He's speaking through gritted teeth. I don't like where this is going.

"Shane, calm down, what's going on?" I try to keep my voice even.

"We're weak, we need to quit acting like this or we're all gonna die." I've had enough. I leave him there with his thoughts and the moonlight. I realize Shane just repeated my own lame excuse. I shake the feeling off.

Dinner is ready when I get to the house. Herschel is finishing up with Daryl. I help serve up plates and get Eli settled down before Herschel makes it back down the stairs.

"You can go up now." He says gently. I hesitate at the bottom of the stairs. Rylee stands next to me and pushes me up the stairs with some force. I give her a weak smile. As I climb the stairs, I practice what I'm going to say to him. I try to mentally prepare myself for whatever lies behind that door. My heart is racing.

Daryl's laying on his side when I enter the room, I can't tell if he is sleeping or not. I stop in the door way and watch him, scared.

"Don't just stand there and stare at me." He mumbles, his voice low and quiet.

I sink down into the chair next to his bed and lean forward. He looks up at me from under the bandage across his forehead.

"Jesus" I say looking over his injuries

"Nah, just Daryl" he manages a weak smile. "Did you hit her hard?" he asks

"Hit who?" I ask innocently

"I heard yer catfight with Andrea." He tells me.

Carol interrupts us with a plate of food for both of us. Carol gives him a soft peck on his bandaged head; I try not to laugh as he looks at her funny and tells her to be careful around his stitches. She thanks him for looking for Sophia.

"You did more for her today, than her daddy ever did." She says. I reach out and grab her hand. She smiles at me.

"I didn't do anything Shane or Rick wouldn't have done." Daryl tries to shrug off her compliments. I lower my eyes. I don't think Shane would do anything for Sophia right now but I don't say as much.

"I know" she says as she walks toward the door. "You're every bit as good as them."

"Mmmm I'm pretty sure you're better." I tell him. We finish our dinner while he tells me what happened out in the forest. I wince as he's describing the ordeal. I should have gone with him instead of being a stubborn bitch this morning. I should have let him stay with me last night. I can't find the words to tell him this either. Finally he looks at me while he sits up.

"How're you doin?" I laugh at his question.

"Seriously, you were shot and stabbed with an arrow all in one day, after being bucked from a horse in the middle of nowhere and you're worried about me? I've been a stubborn, crazy bitch and you still want to know how I am. I don't care what you say Dixon, you're one of the good guys." I am shaking my head, on the verge of tears.

"I'm so sorry for what happened last night Daryl. I wanted you so bad. I should have just gone with it but I was so scared that I would hurt your or my son would get hurt. I was selfish. For what it's worth, I couldn't sleep and could have used a cold shower." I give him a half smile. He doesn't say anything so I leave him alone in his thoughts. I take the dishes back to the kitchen.

Andrea is in the kitchen when I get there. She's visibly upset. I walk past her without a word and place the dishes in the sink. I turn to head to my tent and stop.

"He's going to be ok. It just grazed him." I tell her.

"I'm sorry. I thought he was a walker." She tries to explain

"I know you did. I get it. I shouldn't have yelled at you earlier but I meant what I said." I tell her firmly before leaving her alone in the kitchen.

My brother is waiting for me when I reach the tent. His expression is serious and sad. I can tell he's going to apologize unnecessarily.

"Don't Tommy. I was wrong. People get hurt whether I care or pretend not to. At least if I allow myself to feel something, you guys will know what you mean to me." I leave him speechless; he's never won a fight with me, even as kids. "Oh, and I really like Rylee. I think you're kinda stuck with her." I give him a kiss on the cheek and join my son at the fire.


	17. Chapter 17

**YAY! I've got a new chapter for you. Hope you enjoy it. This one gives a bit more backstory for Autumn. Please let me know what you think. This is kind of a filler chapter between Daryl getting hurt and the group finding out about the barn. **

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**Tommy's POV**

Mason, Jimmy and I watch as my sister heads to her tent. Her attitude is a complete 180° change. I can't keep up with her sometimes.

"What was that all about?" Mason asks after my failed conversation attempt with AJ.

"Um, I was apparently right." I'm still a little shocked considering my sister has never said those words. She's stubborn and will hold on to an argument until death. Jimmy and Mason both stare at her tent, open mouthed, shocked. We sit down in front of the fire and make small talk for a while. The sound of the screen door opening turns my attention away from our conversation. Daryl steps out on to the porch looking better than the last time I saw him. I wave him over to join us. I've been meaning to talk to him.

"Hey Daryl, how you feeling?" I ask him as he lowers himself onto an empty chair.

"Like shit." He answers. I notice he's glancing toward Mason. The tension is obvious. "How's yer sister and Eli?" Mason huffs, stands and walks away.

"Don't mind him. He's a stubborn ass. It's part of the charm." Jimmy nods in agreement. "AJ's in her tent, she's. . . ok, I think. Eli was working on some sketches and fell asleep."

"AJ?" he shoots me a confused look.

"Oh yeah, when I was a kid I couldn't say Autumn. My mom and dad called her AJ so it just stuck." I explain, Daryl glances toward her tent.

"Can I ask you something?" he drops his voice. I shrug. "What happened with that asshole she used to date. She don't talk bout him and I don't wanna ask her. I know some of it but it can't be the whole story."

I look at my hands. It's not my story to tell but she'll never tell him. I decide to deal with her anger later. "Bryan and AJ went to school together. When AJ moved back home, they ran into each other. At first, we all loved him. He was funny and good with Eli. Everything moved pretty quick and he moved in with her. I was living in Atlanta so I didn't see the early signs. I don't know what I would have done. Jimmy called me shortly after they moved in saying he was worried. AJ denied it. She's always been a klutz so at first, the excuses were believable." I start to tell him.

"Then one day, she came over to my house when he left for work. She was pretty shaken." Jimmy picks up the story. "She had several deep cuts on her arm. She tried to tell me that she accidently pushed on the screen door glass and it shattered on her arm. I knew she was lying. I took her to the hospital and she had to have 37 stitches total. I begged her to leave him and she told me it was no big deal. I should have forced her hand or confronted him." His voice full of regret.

"Sounds like an ass. He hit Eli too?" Daryl asks, his face is angry.

"Just once. But it was bad. Stupid investigating officer filed some paperwork wrong and Bryan's slime ball attorney got him off on a technicality. He came back to AJ's house angrier than before. He started drinking harder and the abuse got worse. Mason took custody of Eli after AJ begged him to. I wanted her to stay with me, to let me help her get him out of the house but she's stubborn and wanted to do it herself." Tommy explained. He couldn't talk about the night that his sister almost died. She was all he had left and the rage that built up in him toward Bryan sometimes blurred his sanity.

"I heard about the night he tried to kill her." Daryl whispers. He's staring at the fire with intensity.

"It was a rough night. Tommy and I sat in court every day of his trial. That evil bastard sat there playing the victim card. He swore he'd go to rehab; he tried everything to get off on that charge. It almost worked too; until I gave the DA pictures. Pictures of the various bruises and cuts, pictures of Eli after that monster attacked him, pictures of Autumn after her attack. Have you ever looked closely at her tattoos?" Jimmy asks. Daryl just shakes his head

"Every tattoo she has covers a scar that he gave her. When she met Bryan, she only had one tattoo." My sister had covered her pain with something she considered beautiful. To me, those tattoos that covered her arms and shoulders illustrated just how much he did to her. The thought of it makes me irate.

The three of us settle into an angry silence, watching the fire dance. The casual small talk we had tried to make earlier dies on the air and I can tell that Daryl is furious. I suddenly respect this man. I understand Mason's concerns. Daryl's rough, he's not by any means someone I would have pictured my sister with. He has a good heart though. He could have left this group at any time, and I heard he had good reason to. But here he is, sticking with them. He almost killed himself for some little girl that he has no connection too. That's the best I could ask for my sister.

Jimmy breaks my thoughts by standing up and announcing he is turning in. I'm not tired yet. Daryl and I sit for awhile just enjoying the peace of the night. We don't talk and I can tell that something's weighing on his mind. I don't push. He's not really the type you push to talk about their feelings. Sometime later, Daryl turns his attention back to me again.

"What's with yer sister and Jimmy?" he asks.

"Jimmy's like her adopted brother. He grew up in the house next door to us and they've been friends since birth. He's Eli's Godfather. He's always just been there for her." I notice that my words bother him for some reason. "Just friends. They've never even considered anything more. He loves her like I do. He also feels like he messed up and couldn't protect her."

Daryl leans back in his chair without a word. His expression is thoughtful. The silence is shattered by screams coming from AJ's tent. Daryl and I bolt for the tent; fear clenched in my chest.

**Autumn's POV**

Tears fall silently as I listen to my brother and Jimmy explain to Daryl about my relationship with Bryan. We've never talked about it. I've only ever seen the damage Bryan did from my own experience. I never thought about what it was like to be on the outside looking in.

The emotional exhaustion that I've been battling all night sinks in and I drift off to sleep listening to my brother talk to Daryl about my tattoos.

_"Autumn, where you at?" Bryan's angry voice travels through the house._

_"In here babe." I call from the kitchen. Dinner is ready and served. I clutch the counter praying that just for tonight we can have a good night. Maybe he'll see that I tried. The cool steel of the knife in my waistband presses against my skin and I quickly readjust the makeshift holster I use._

_"Where's Eli?" he demands._

_"He's staying with his dad for a bit. Rachel went out of town and Mason thought it would be a good time for them to have some guy time. This way you and I can have some alone time too." I plaster a fake smile on my face as I recite my practiced lines perfectly._

_"Oh yeah? Who's gonna do his fuckin chores?" His anger is obvious and quick._

_"I will. I can have them done before you get home tomorrow. We can spend the night together if you want." I try to pour a flirty tone into my voice and hope to hide my disgust._

_"No, how the hell is he ever gonna learn?" Bryan takes a menacing step toward me. I drop my eyes to the ground bracing for the impact of his slap. He stops right in front of me. "I wasn't asked if it was ok that your son isn't here. Mason has no right."_

_I didn't argue; it would have done me no favors. Instead I look up into his eyes. I'm terrified at the evil hiding there. Why didn't I notice this before? I could have steered clear. I pull my face into a tight grin._

_"Why don't we eat? I made your favorite. Would you like a beer with dinner?" I make myself busy trying to cover up my shaking hands. If he notices, it will just make it worse. We sit down to dinner in silence._

_"This is awful. What the hell did you do the chicken?" he demands_

_"Nothing new, would you like me to cook you something else?" I quickly jump up._

_"You know how useless you are? You can't even cook chicken. What the hell is wrong with you?" He stands up from the table, knocking the plate and his beer across the table and floor. I shudder, anticipating his attack. "I'm done with you. You're worthless and I can't have that shit in my house."_

_He crosses the room and slaps me hard. I fall back into the doorway of the small bathroom. I crawl back toward the tub and he's on me instantly; yelling at me but I tune his words out. I'm concentrating on getting my knife without him seeing. He climbs on top of my stomach, straddling me, pinning my arms close to my ribs. I twist and turn trying to get away from him; my eyes are closed. Icy metal brushes against my cheek and he's laughing. My eyes flutter open in surprise to see a pistol in his hand._

_"You can't get away from me. You can't leave me. You'll die right here with me and then I'll kill your son and that asshole ex of yours. You worthless slut." His evil smile sent a shiver down my spine._

_"Please, I won't leave, I'll stay. Please." I plead with him, tears flowing down my face uncontrollably. He hits me across the face with the butt of the gun. Pain explodes across my cheek and blurs my vision. He laughs harder. I struggle to get my hand on the grip of the knife and feel some small relief when I find the hard plastic handle. I slowly slide the metal against my skin hoping that my movement doesn't grab his attention._

_"I didn't say you could talk to me. I don't wanna hear your shit. You mean nothing to me." He hits me hard again and I'm afraid I'm going to pass out. I grip the knife and quickly plunge it into his groin area. The effect is immediate and exactly what I needed. Bryan is shocked and falls to the side. I don't hesitate. As I'm running out the door, I hear a gunshot._

I wake up screaming, sweat and tears dripping down my face. I feel like I'm suffocating and can't catch my breath. Eli jumps up at my sudden outburst and is at my side. The tent unzips and Daryl is the first one through the door. He drops down to sit on the edge of my cot and starts inspecting me. After realizing it was just my dream that caused my terrified cries he pulled me into his chest; rubbing my back, trying to erase the nightmare. Behind him, Mason, Jimmy, Tommy and Rick are standing in the doorway, concerned.

"I'm sorry guys, it was just a nightmare." I explain breathlessly.

"Don't worry bout it, you ok?" My brother asks. His face is drained of color in fear. I nod, unwilling to speak.

"Why don't you sleep in my tent Eli?" Mason motions to my son. Eli's still frozen at my side. I notice Daryl is holding his shaking hand. I detangle myself from Daryl's embrace and reach over Eli.

"Hey baby. It's ok. It was a nightmare. I'm safe, we're all safe." I kiss him on the forehead and he nods carefully. He stands and follows Mason. I turn my eyes to Daryl's face. His eyes are searching my face, worried. I lean my forehead back into his shoulder, thankful for the warmth and security he's offering. I notice my brother ushering everyone else out of the tent, giving us some privacy.

"Want me to stay?" his voice is comforting. I look at his face, worried that this may not be what he wants; someone damaged, someone broken. I want him so bad in that moment that my body aches for him. I reach up and gently touch the bandaged area on his head. I trail my finger tips back down his cheek. The thrill of having him this close is too much for me. I lean in slowly and kiss him, slowly at first until I push away the caution. I kiss the corner of his mouth and slowly kiss down to his chest, pausing for a moment before unbuttoning his shirt. There are scars all over his chest, old and jagged scars. Daryl is just as broken as I am.

He notices my hesitation and brushes my hair behind my ear. His lips brush against the skin on my neck sending electricity throughout my body. My body arches toward him in response. His chapped lips slowly kiss down my collarbone, hitting a secret spot no one knows about. I shudder and he smiles, knowing the effect he has on me. I make a quick movement to stand up. His face falls in disappointment.

I stand in front of him and slowly peel my t-shirt off. He slips his fingertips into the waistband of my shorts and pulls my body toward him. He places soft kisses on my stomach and I giggle. He gives me a strange look.

"It tickles, don't judge me." I tell him playfully as I lower myself to straddle his lap. "You sure about this Dixon?"

"Are you tryin' to kill me woman? Yer tellin' me that you can't tell?" his lopsided grin in place.

"Don't get an attitude with me buddy. I'm suddenly very tired." I fake a yawn.

"Don't worry, I'll wake yer ass up." He says as he grabs my face back toward his lips. I stop before kissing him.

"Are you ok to do this?" I ask as I touch the bandages on his side gently.

"I'm fine. Yer just gonna have to do all the work." He smiles again as he lays back and pulls me down on top of him.


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter is a bit fluffy. Just tying up some loose ends and setting up some interaction to come in later chapters. As always, read, enjoy and review.**

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A gentle touch to my cheek wakes me up. My eyes flutter open slowly. Daryl is already awake, laying there watching me as I'm curled up under his arm. I place my ear on his chest and listen to his rhythmic heart beat. I can't will myself to move away from him.

"Mornin" he says in his sexy southern drawl. I look up into his magnetic gaze and give him a soft kiss on his chest.

"How are you feeling?" I ask and he laughs at me, deep laughter. It sounds amazing from him. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

"Oh I'm just fine sweetheart" a mischievous look crosses his face. Voices float in through the tent from outside and break our playful banter. Mason's not happy.

"What were you thinking Thomas? Why didn't you stop her?" he demands.

"What did you want me to do Mase? Sit between them all night and make Daryl leave? I think you need to rethink your little crusade against him. He's good for her. He's good with Eli. You can't tell her what to do. Even if I wanted to stop them, I'm not suicidal. I'm not going to provoke my sister that way. If I were you, I wouldn't either." Tommy whispers loudly. He hates arguing with Mason but he will when he needs to.

I pull myself up off the cot and start to dress quickly. Daryl notices the determined look on my face and realizes this may not end well. He reaches up and grabs my arm gently.

"Let me talk to 'im" he says. "Maybe we can avoid you and him fightin in front of yer kid." He stands up, pulls his clothes on carefully trying to avoid further injury.

"I appreciate it Daryl and if you want to talk to him, that's up to you but I have something I think needs to be said. I'm not gonna fight with him. Not anymore." I reassure him as we both leave the tent. Daryl grips my hand as I start to walk toward Mason and my brother, who are now deep in their tense conversation.

". . . he's done more for her than any of us could." My brother finishes with gritted teeth. I place my hand on his shoulder and he turns to face me.

"It's ok. Mason and I need to talk. We're gonna take a quick walk. We won't go far. Can you and Daryl go check on Eli for me?" My brother nods, giving Mason a death look before turning with Daryl to go find Eli. Daryl turns to look at me with his lop-sided grin but this one didn't reach his eyes.

Mason's face is full of anger. We start strolling down the driveway away from the house. I stay silent for sometime, hoping his frustration will subside. I don't want to argue with him. I rehearse what I want to say in my head, trying to find a way to say it that won't lead to another fight. We stop a little ways down the driveway and I sigh.

"Mase, I love you. I love the father that you are to our son. I love the friend you've been to me when my world fell apart and I love that you're worried about me." He opens his mouth to interrupt but I put a hand up. "Please let me say this before you fight with me. I love you for all of that and I appreciate you so much more than I ever tell you. You're wrong about Daryl. He's found a way to do something that I never thought was possible. He's made me feel again. I didn't even realize how numb and shut down I had become. I heard your words telling me you were worried and that I was shutting you out. I didn't realize you were right until Daryl showed me what I was afraid to see. Rachel saved you. She found you lost and stupid and she made you realize the type of person you wanted to be, she helped you get there. Daryl is that for me. I don't know where this is going with him. It could be a one-night stand for all I know at this point but he woke something up inside of me and that counts for something. Give him a chance to mess it all up before you get mad at him for it." The words rush out of me and I brace for his outburst. His face is a mix of pain and frustration. He's struggling with what to say.

"I used to tell Rachel that it was my fault; what happened to you and Eli. I should have seen the monster inside of Bryan. I should have recognized it as a father. I failed you. I failed our son. I just don't want to fail either one of you again." He said.

"I understand that guilt better than anyone, but I can't close myself off anymore. I have to let people in and I have to quit fighting against it. I almost died because I refused to let anyone help me with Bryan. I wanted to minimize the damage to others and it almost killed me and Eli." I tell him. His face softens slightly and then turns into something unrecognizable. He reaches out and place his hand on my forehead, confusion sweeps over me.

"What are you doing?" I ask him swatting his hand away.

"I thought maybe the fever hit you. This is twice in two days you admitted that other people may have been right. The world really did end." He laughs and I throw my arms around his waist for a hug. It feels good to get along with him like this. I miss Mason my friend, not Mason the concerned father and ex. He puts his arm around my shoulders and we walk back to camp.

Daryl's watching us as we walk up both smiling. He's sitting with Eli, eating breakfast. I cross over and sit down by the two. Eli is showing Daryl his sketchpad. I'm pleasantly surprised. Eli rarely shares that pad with anyone. He's showing Daryl the comic book he's working on with his crossbow wielding super hero. I try to suppress the smile on my face.

"Everything, ok?" he asks, not taking his eyes off the sketchpad.

"Yep." I don't elaborate with Eli within earshot. Mason joins us and hands me a bowl of oatmeal. Daryl freezes mid-bite, shock written all over his face.

"Eli, why don't you go to the tent and grab your cards? We'll play a game when I'm done eating." Mason's lame excuse is obvious to Daryl. He straightens himself up in his chair with a serious expression. He's bracing for the worst.

"Daryl, I have to apologize for being a stubborn ass. I had no right." Mason says when Eli is far enough away. "But I swear to God, if you hurt my son or Autumn, I'll shoot you myself. No questions asked." His tone is serious but his smile says he's trying. Daryl nods his head.

Mason dismisses himself and leaves the two of us alone. Daryl's expression is unreadable and I don't push him to talk. For the first time, the silence between us is heavy and uncomfortable. Unable to stand it anymore, I excuse myself. I feel his eyes on me as I walk away.

I start working on laundry to distract myself from all the questions going through my head. It's been so long since I've been in any kind of relationship. I don't know how this is supposed to work anymore. With the world going to hell, I don't even know if this is supposed to work anymore. I don't want to push Daryl to talk about it. As I'm collecting laundry, I find the shirt I wore last night. Daryl's scent is all over it and I can't bring myself to wash that away yet. I toss it back into my tent and finish the laundry. As I start hanging the clothes on a line, Shane approaches me cautiously.

"Hey." I greet him casually. His face is softer today than last night.

"Hey, I'm sorry about last night." He starts. "I'm just a little frustrated lately. It hasn't been easy."

"And it won't be either. Things are just going to get harder and harder as we go Shane. We gotta stick together" I tell him. "How's that other situation going?"

"Rick's alive, there is no other situation." That cold edge creeps back into his voice.

"It's ok to be hurt Shane. It's ok to be frustrated but you gotta keep your sanity. No one can afford to get all crazy now." I tell him softly. "Sometimes you just gotta let go of all that anger and pain. I'm here if you need to talk."

"You've been nicer than I deserve lately. I'm sorry for bein an ass." He's shuffling from one foot to another. He gives me a friendly hug before he starts to head off.

"Oh, wait. By the way, we're heading out for some shooting practice today. Mason, Jimmy & your brother are going, Eli wants to go too. Is that ok?" he asks.

"Yeah, if Mason approves. I think it's time he learned how to handle a gun. My dad started teaching me at 12. Thanks Shane." I place my hand on his arm and he gives me a half-hearted smile. I turn back to my laundry, softly humming to myself.

I'm lost in my own world, hanging clothes when I sense someone behind me. "What did Shane want?" Dale asks, I jump a little.

"Jesus Dale! You gave me a heart attack." I tell the older man. He's still watching Shane with an odd expression. "He wanted to apologize for his frustration lately. He's got a lot on his mind."

"I'm sure he does." Dale's voice is cold and he wrinkles his forehead.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I question.

"Don't you wonder what really happened with Otis?" he asks. "The whole situation is a little fishy."

"Dale, whatever you're thinking, just say it." I encouraged him.

"I just don't think that Otis died the way Shane says. I think Shane did something to him. It's a gut feeling and some circumstantial evidence. Haven't you noticed Shane's behavior?" he asked.

I shrug; I just thought Shane was frustrated because of Lori and Rick. "I don't know Dale. He's got a lot on his mind, maybe it's just that. Have you tried talking to him?"

"No, maybe someone should though." His face was distant. "I'm gonna go back to watching, call me if you need anything."

I turn back around and finish my laundry in peace. Despite the earlier drama, I can't hide the fact that I'm flying high. My constant humming and permanent smile apparently do not go unnoticed. When the group arrives back from gun training, I happily sit down with Eli to play a board game that Herschel found in the house. Rylee sits down next to me, a playful look on her face. She doesn't push for any information but she can tell by my mood that it was a good night.

The day moves along smoothly but by mid afternoon, my mood starts to fade a little. I hadn't talked to or seen Daryl since the awkward early morning. I tried to chase away the doubts with thoughts of his body pressed against mine, his lips on my skin. Those thoughts sent me in another direction entirely.

As I'm hanging out with Eli on the porch of the house, Daryl suddenly appears with a tense expression on his face. He leans against the railing as he bites the skin on his thumb. I can tell he wants to talk so I send Eli to go find Mason.

"You know if you want to have an adult conversation, all you have to do is say so ma. You don't need to send me away with an excuse." He rolls his eyes as he heads off in the direction of Mason's tent.

"Ya got a smartass on your hands hu?" Daryl asks.

"I do. I'd love to say he gets it from his daddy but that's all me." I smile

"So what did I do?" he asks as he stares at his feet.

"You'll have to be a little more specific, Dixon." I tell him

"You mad at me or something?" he asks

"Mad at you? Seriously? I thought you were avoiding me to save yourself from the awkward morning after 'it's not you it's me' talk." I tell him relieved

"Tha what?" his face screws up into a grimace. Apparently he hasn't had to have this kind of talk.

"Never mind, it was my own paranoia." I dismiss the thought with a wave of my hand. "I saw that Andrea came and talked to you earlier. Everything ok?" trying to keep the hint of jealousy out of my tone

"Yeah, she's just sorry she shot me." He says. I don't respond. I sit forward leaning my elbows on my knees and look at my feet for some time before speaking again.

"I don't know how to do this Daryl." I tell him, peeking up at him through my hair. He stands, chewing on his thumb still. I can't tell what he's thinking and it's driving me insane.

"Ya think I do?" he sits down next to me on the seat and picks up Eli's sketchbook, casually flipping through it. "Damn, is this me?" he asks when he sees the crossbow wielding superhero Eli's been frequenting in his story lines. I nod in silence; wondering if this is going to send him running in the opposite direction. I realize how worried I am that he'll run. I bit my lower lip and watch off in the distance as Eli and Mason are talking and laughing.

"I wouldn't have stayed last night if I didn't wanna. I'm not good at this shit. I ain't never had a girl. I saw Merle bring home some random barflies from time to time and I had a few myself. But that's it. All this other stuff, it's . . . different." He says, clearly frustrated.

"What. . . other stuff?" I ask, not wanting to focus on his barfly comment.

"Aww come on. Really, I gotta say it." Embarrassed, he stands back up and leans against the railing again. I stood up and followed, stopping right in front of him as he turned back to face me, putting his hands in his pockets. I put my thumbs in his belt loops, pulling him slightly, fighting a grin I look up at his embarrassed expression.

"Dixon, are you sayin you like me?" I ask him teasingly. He grimaced a little and crossed his arms in front of him, apparently uncomfortable at my teasing. I stood up on my toes and planted a light kiss on his chin. I tingled after thinking about his touch all day. I lowered my head and put it on his chest. He wrapped a casual arm around me.

"Nah, I'm sayin yer all right." He laughs at my scoff. "Let's go hang out with Eli. I wanna talk to him about an idea I have for a sidekick." He grabs the sketchpad and lazily walks off the porch, reaching back for my hand as he goes. Rylee might have gotten that one wrong. Daryl Dixon held my hand in public. I giggled at the idea causing him to look at me funny. My laughter dies in my throat as I see Dale and Shane in a heated discussion. Shane's face is dark and menacing. I've seen that look before.


	19. Chapter 19

Rylee and I are giggling like school girls the next morning at breakfast. Daryl is a short distance away, attempting to "bond" with my brother and Eli. After spending the night together again last night, I'm back on cloud nine today. Rylee and I spent most of the morning gossiping and it felt good to talk to someone about it. There's an obvious tension running through the camp but for the first time, I'm not bothered by it. Just as I get up to get ready to go out and find Sophia, Glenn crosses to the center of the campsite; he's wringing his hat in his hands nervously. He clears his throat and we all quiet down.

"Um, guys, the barn is full of walkers." He stutters out. An eerie stillness spreads across the group.

Daryl tenses next to me and I automatically reach for his hand. Shane takes off toward the barn, with the rest of us close behind. Daryl grabs my arm and stops me in my tracks.

"Stay here with your son. The rest of us will handle this. I want you safe." He isn't demanding; more of a plea. I nod and head back toward the tents. I sit down with Eli to play a game of cards but I'm distractedly watching the group arguing and fighting at the barn. Voices are raised, but I can't understand what they are saying. When I see My brother, Jimmy and Mason stomping back to camp, I jump up from my spot and run to them, anticipation and fear rolling over me every step of the way.

By the time I reach them, my heart is racing. The looks of annoyance and dread etched on their faces do little to comfort me. Daryl marches past us and heads to his tent and disappear inside. Rylee joins us at the road. Eli hugs his dad's side. Tommy fills us in on what happened at the barn. I fight the urge to run after Daryl, I know how much finding Sophia means to him. Jimmy's words bring me back to focus.

"We can't stay here with walkers." He says.

"What's Rick say?" I ask. Mason shoots me a look of absolute disgust. I shake my head at him, willing him not to fight right now. He closes his mouth and stares at my brother as he talks.

"He wants to talk to Hershel." Tommy answers. Rylee has stepped to his side, hugging him. We all head back toward camp. Daryl suddenly reappears, heading toward the stable. I watch as Carol rushes off after him. I stand in my place for a moment before deciding to follow her. I can hear their voices as I stop outside the entrance.

"What?" Daryl asks

"I can't lose you too." Carol says quietly. I hear Daryl grunt as he walks away.

"Stupid Bitch." He says as he stomps off past me without a word. Carol walks out, head hanging with silent tears. I place my arm across her shoulder as we walk back to camp.

"He's upset Carol. And to be honest, he's not used to people caring about him. He didn't mean it." I comfort her as we hit the table where Eli and Carl are working on school work. Mason rushes over to our side.

"What happened?" he asks concerned.

"Daryl's upset about the barn, about Shane's words. He took Carol's words the wrong way." I explain.

"What did he do? Did he hit you?" Mason's voice is drawing in stares

"No, nothing like that. He's just upset. I'm just upset at myself. I almost gave up on my daughter. What kind of mother am I?" I reach across the table and grab her hand.

"You're a good mother Carol. You would trade your life for Sophia's in an instant. You're just lost and don't know what to do anymore." Mason whispered to her. He sat down beside her and pulled her into an embrace. Watching the two of them, bond over their lost loved ones made me realize how lost Mason felt. I ushered the boys away to play in the field with a ball for a little bit before starting on chores for the day.

The camp is uneasy and broken right now. Fear and anger are running through camp. Everyone is on edge and either crying or arguing.

"Whatcha thinkin about?" Jimmy sits down near me as I prepare dinner for everyone. I shook my head, not knowing what to say at this point.

"Yeah, me too." He says with a smirk. "Where's Daryl?"

"He took off to look for Sophia. It's probably for the best." I tell him, concentrating on my work. Shane stomps through camp, an angry and dark look on his face. He goes into the RV and comes back out livid.

"You see where he went?" He says to Glenn through gritted teeth and shortened breaths.

"Who?"

"Don't even try to shit me ok? Dale, did you see where Dale went?" he demands. The two exchange some more unintelligible words and Shane heads off toward the woods. I jump up after him with an apologetic look at Jimmy. I work hard to catch up to Shane as he stomps away. We walk in silence for some time before coming upon the swamp area and we see Dale with the guns.

"What's going on Shane?" I ask.

"Stay out of it, you hear me?" he says through gritted teeth. I freeze, frightened. I watch as he stomps off toward Dale.

"Man, this is a good hiding place. We ain't been in the swamps much hu?" Shane calls out to the older man.

"Imagine if you applied your tracking skills to Sophia." Dale tells him. I duck behind some brush, straining to hear their conversation. Bits and pieces hit my ears.

"What you gonna shoot me like you did Otis, tell another story?" Dale asks

I can't understand Shane's response. The two argue back and forth for a few seconds before Dale pulls his rifle up. Shane steps slowly toward Dale, putting his body right in front of the weapon. I tense, uneasy with sitting here any longer. Dale puts the gun down and hands the bag to Shane who heads in the opposite direction toward camp. I stay hidden until Dale is heading back toward camp and sneak out of my hiding place. Unsure of what I just witnessed, I slowly made my way back to camp.

When I reach camp, Jimmy rushes to meet me.

"Where's everyone?" I ask. Hoping to avoid a conversation about the scene I just came upon.

"Daryl came back. Took Carol for a walk, I think he wanted to apologize from this morning." Jimmy shrugged, reading my concerned expression as jealousy, he went on quickly. "I'm sure they just wanted to talk away from everyone else."

I let him think that's why I was upset. I didn't want him to deal with what I was dealing with. I didn't even know what to do with the info, let alone what to tell him to do.

"Tommy and Mason are sitting at camp. Neither one of them know what to do with this. Rylee's helping Eli with some sketches. What happened out there?" he asks

"I don't know, couldn't find them. Did they come back?" I lie easily, glancing around. Jimmy shakes his head just as Daryl and Carol come back. There's a commotion by the porch. I try to ignore it until Shane walks up, fire in his eyes and the gun bag on his back. He starts handing out guns, screaming along the way. He starts arguing with everyone. The sudden sound of growling and moaning turn everyone's attention to the woods where Rick and Hershel have just re-immerged with two walkers on leashes. The group runs down the drive.

Jimmy and I catch up with Eli and Mason, running to catch up. Several gunshots ring through the air as we hit the barn. Shane's lost it. He's screaming about survival and fighting. He turns and runs toward the barn grabbing a pick axe. He attacks the barn doors opening them as he screams. The group of walkers fights to get through the door. I turn my back and stand facing my son, covering his ears to the horrifying sounds behind us. There's a silence as the last shot echoes through the field. I look at Jimmy's horrified expression and my heart drops. Dale makes it back to the group, mouth open. I turn just in time to see the last form come through the doors. The recognition of who it is brings me to my knees, hugging on to my son tightly.

"Sophia! No, no, no Sophia!" Carol cries out as she runs toward her daughter.

Mason and Daryl meet her halfway, stopping her and holding her as she weeps uncontrollably. Rick steps forward, putting his gun up, he pulls the trigger. The girl's body crumples to the ground. Carol's sobs are the only sound as everyone stares at the chaos.

Jimmy drops to the ground next to me, pulling Eli and I onto his lap, holding us as he rocks, back and forth. Daryl leaves Mason with Carol and hurries to us.

"You all right?" he whispers as he pulls me onto his lap. We watch as Mason struggles to help Carol to her feet. She stomps away, sobbing. I nod my head as he checks Eli and me over for signs of a breakdown. I'm unable to speak. I'm watching Shane, terrified of him. Daryl notices my glares. He takes Eli back toward the house with Jimmy.

Shane chases after Hershel screaming more. I stand up to follow, worried at what he might do. I reach the porch at the same time Maggie slaps him. Hershel takes off into the house. Shane turns toward me, his face unrecognizable. My heart jumped into my throat and I choked on my breath. Turning away, I headed off to find Carol. When I get to the RV door, Daryl meets me there.

"Give me a second?" he asks as he climbs into the RV. I back away, feeling helpless. I start to head down to the barn but Shane passes me and I turn direction toward my tent, wanting to avoid the uneasy feeling that Shane leaves me with. I sit down on the chair outside my tent. I think about the scene between Dale and Shane from earlier. I can't shake the terrified recognition I felt from Shane's rage. My hands were shaking and flashes of my previous life flooded me. I hated that it affected me like this.

Sometime later, after wrestling with my thoughts, trying to calm my breathing, Lori comes up to let us all know they're ready for the service. I follow Eli and Jimmy in silence toward the barn. The service is silent, few words are spoken and any peace we've felt is shattered. As the service ends, everyone heads off in different directions. I head toward the house, hoping to find something to calm my nerves. As I reach my tent, I see Hershel walking away from the house; determination clear on his face. I suddenly run after him toward the cars.

"Take me with you? I need to get out of here. Please, I . . ." he must recognize the desperation in my voice, in my words. He nods and I fall into line beside him. We climb in and take off in the direction of the road without a word spoken between us. We reach the destination and I'm relieved. We head into the bar and I watch as he pulls out two glasses and a bottle. I join him at the bar and take a seat.

He hands me the glass of whiskey and together we both drink the glasses in one sip. He quickly pours another for each of us before coming across the bar to sit next to me. Neither of us says a word as we drink. I long for the numbing rush to fall over me. Something that will make me forget my past. Bursts of memory are still coming hard and fast, I'm unable to control all of them. As we drink more of the bottle, I become light headed but the scenes of Bryan and I don't stop. Some of them have Shane's face in his place. The same terrifying rage painted their expressions in each flash. I keep pouring the alcohol down my throat.

The door swings open and neither of us turns.

"Hershel" Rick asks cautiously, I turn around and look at him before downing the glass I have in my hand.

"Who's with you?" Hershel asks

"Glenn." Rick tells him

"Maggie sent him?" Hershel asks

"He volunteered, he's good like that." Rick says. My stomach rolls a little and my bladder is full. I stand up and head to the bathroom area without a word. I feel Rick's eyes on me the whole time.

After I finish, I stand for a long while staring at my broken reflection. My hair is matted to my skin in a mix of sweat and dirt; my eyes show the tell-tale signs of crying uncontrollably. My skin is pale and colorless. When I close my eyes, I will myself to think of Daryl's eyes. I struggle to calm myself down and can't. I lean back against the wall and slide, slowly to the floor, silent sobs shake my body. There's a soft knock on the door.

"Autumn, you ok?" Glenn whispers through the door.

"Yep, just give me a minute." I tell him. I hear his footsteps move away from the door. A short time later, I hear Hershel and Rick's raised voices. I can't go out there now. I can't deal with anymore anger than my own. I sit with my head hung between my knees thinking about the fear that I was trying to control. When I had enough composure to stand up and steady myself, I slid back up the wall carefully. I heard footsteps heading to the door and as I opened it, I was pushed backward violently. The door closed quietly behind the figure that had stepped inside. I stood against the wall for support, afraid to think.

"Well, hey there girlie, where'd you come from?" the hulking man dressed in jeans and a black Harley shirt. He had thick, hairy arms that couldn't sit comfortably against his sides. The man had a full beard and mustache, he stood at least a foot taller than I was. I cowered slightly as he came closer to me.

"I was just leaving." I tell him quietly.

"Awww, why? We din't even get a chance to hang out." I hear voices other than Rick and Hershel outside the door. I'm tempted to scream for help but instead, my hand closes around the gun that's been in my waistband for weeks. I grip the handle and lean back, changing my demeanor slightly.

"Why should we hurry, right big guy?" I ask him, pouring flirt into my voice. He falls for it as he saunters toward me. The look in his eyes is ugly and full of bad intentions. His big hands paw at my waist line, clumsily trying to find the button on my jeans. Nausea hits me hard and I almost puke on him. The voices in the bar grow louder. He is distracted for one second and I take full advantage. I draw my gun and put it to his chin. He jumps back a little but I press him up against the opposite wall forcefully.

"Hey, wait now, we were just talkin" he says hands thrown up in surrender.

"I'm not a big talker. Sorry" I hear gunshots in the next room. He takes my momentary loss of focus and tries to push me off of him. I pull the trigger and a resounding BANG echoes in the tile room. Blood splatters across my face and chest. I drop the gun and fall backwards.

Rick is through the door in seconds, staring from me to the crumpled body that takes up most of the floor. He reaches out to me and helps me up. He sees the blood covering me and reaches for some paper towel to help wipe my face off. My breathing is shallow and ragged. The room is spinning and I'm literally seeing red. The room is swaying in slow motion and I feel unsteady as Rick walks me back to the bar. There is another crumpled body lying against the wall outside the bathroom. I am unable to fight off the need to vomit. I lean against the wall and empty the alcohol from my stomach violently.

"Autumn. Hey, stay with us here. We gotta get outta here and back home. Daryl's fuming that you took off; everyone is worried about you and Hershel. Let's get outta here." Rick's calming voice helps slightly but not enough to stop the nausea. The smell of blood is all over me.

I can tell the sun has gone down. Hershel helps me toward the door as we get ready to leave. From outside, we hear a car pull up and we drop to the ground, holding our breath. My head is reeling; I can't even make out what is being said. I hold in my sobs. Rick comforts me and tries to quiet me down. The steps return, the voices growing louder again. The intruders call out for their buddies in the bar.

"They drew on us!" Rick tells them. I can't take it anymore, I crawl toward the back of the bar, looking for a way out. I find another body behind the bar and my nerves threaten to collapse again. I step gingerly over the body and shots ring out. I dive for the floor, coming inches from the dead man's face. When the shots subside again, I crawl toward the back door and kneel there, waiting, trying not to pass out. Glenn inches past me through the back door. I prop open the door and sit in the entryway, gun poised at the back entrance.

I struggle to keep my hand steady. As Glenn reaches the backdoor, another shot rings out. I couldn't see what direction the shot came from. Rick tells Hershel to take Glenn's back. I sit in the doorway, helplessly. Glenn heads out the back door and more shots are heard. Rick runs past me, meeting with Hershel. Rick heads out the door. I stand and go to the door with Hershel. We listen as more shots are fired and then a car peels away.

"Hershel!" Glenn yells, we both turn in time to see three walkers heading toward a body. Hershel must have shot him. We both head out the door and toward the main street. Glenn, Rick and Hershel run across the street while I head to the Jeep. I jump in and start the vehicle. Walkers are heading toward the trio. I can hear screaming and the guys run for the Jeep with an extra person. I throw the Jeep in gear and tear off in the direction we came from.


	20. Chapter 20

I concentrate on the road in front of me as I race through the night back to the farm house. The sun is starting to peak above the horizon in the distance, casting a hazy pink glow across the darkened sky. The boy's cries from the back seat have subsided and I assumed he had passed out from the pain. We had stopped so that Hershel could fix him up the best he could. The poor kid screamed through the whole procedure.

Rick was watching me in silence as I maneuvered through my drunken, panicked haze. My breathing still hadn't reached a normal rate. The taste in my mouth was awful and threatened to make me lose more of my stomach contents.

"Why don't you pull over?" Rick whispers. I shake my head, my eyes never leaving the road. When I reach the driveway to the farm, my grip tightens on the wheel. We pull up to the house and everyone is loading up the vehicles. Daryl and Mason are the first to reach the truck. Rick jumps out with Glenn and Hershel. I sit frozen behind the wheel, my hand still gripping the wheel.

Daryl reaches the driver side door and opens it, an angry look on his face.

"What were ya thinkin?" His voice catches when he sees the expression on my face and the blood covering my hair and clothes. "What the hell. . . ?" I shake my head, unable to speak. Daryl reaches in and helps me out of the truck. I lean over and heave but nothing comes up. Rick pulls Mason, Jimmy and Thomas off to the side. I see my brother start to lose control of his temper. It's rare that my little peace keeper gets upset. I want to go to him, tell him I'm ok, but I can't get the words out. Rylee and Carol rush over to help me stand. They walk with me up the stairs to the shower.

Once I'm alone and under the hot spray of water, every sob that I had tried to hold back all day wracked my body from head to toe. I knelt down in the bottom of the tub, letting the water wash over me, leaving a pink trail down the drain as the large man's blood went with it. I was sobbing so hard, I never heard the door open.

"AJ, you all right?" Daryl's voice is low, rough. I don't answer. "Hey, come on, tell me yer ok. Give me some smart ass comment, somethin."

My silence doesn't deter him. There's no noise for a moment and then suddenly, he's in the shower with me fully dressed; helping me to standing position. My knees are weak and can't hold my own weight. He reaches over and shuts off the shower, still holding me tight against him. He pulls a towel around me and helps me out of the tub. My body aches and my mind has finally shut off. I can't say a word and all I want right now is to be held. He looks me over, a sad, distant look in his eyes.

"What happened?" he asks softly as I shake against him. He reaches for my clothes and helps me start to pull them on.

"I. . . . I . . . shot someone. He's dead." It was all I could manage to get out. He didn't say a word, just lifted me up and carried me out to my tent. Jimmy met him at the door and the two of them helped me get into bed, covering me up.

"I'm gonna go talk to Rick. I'm right outside." Daryl told me as I rolled away from him to face the tent. I heard him sigh as he and Jimmy left me alone. Mason came in next. I expected a fight. He pulled the chair from outside, in and sat down next to my cot. He didn't say a word, just reached out and trailed his hand along the side of my face, pushing my wet hair behind my ear. I finally gave into the state of numbness and fell asleep.

Daryl's POV

"Rick!" I shout outside his tent. "RICK!"

"One second Daryl, I heard you." He said as he stepped out of the tent.

"What happened?" I don't give him a moment to breath.

"Hershel and Autumn were at a bar in town. They both had quite a few before we even got there. Autumn was in the bathroom when two guys entered the bar. One of their buddies must have snuck in the back door and cornered her in the bathroom. I busted in the door when I heard the gunshot." Rick explains as Tommy reaches us.

"Gunshot?" my head snaps up.

"Yeah, she shot the bastard in the head." Rick explained. "This other guy was left behind by the rest of his group." I just stared at my feet.

"That's it?" I ask

"Far as I know. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should have checked on her when she was in there for a while." Rick shakes his head. Anger runs through me, I just want to hit something. I turn on my heel and head back to the tent. Tommy quietly walks beside me. His face is drained of color.

"Daryl, my sister. . ." Tommy shakes his head, trailing off.

"Hey, best thing you can do right now is go hang out with yer nephew, pretend nothin's wrong. She'll thank you for it later." I tell him. He nods and jogs off toward Eli and Carl. When I reach the tent, Mason is sitting by her side, head in his hands. My footsteps get his attention and he looks up at me, terrified.

"Did you find out anything?" he asks in a whisper, his voice is shaky. So are his hands.

"Some guy attacked her; she shot him in the head." I tell him, not taking my eyes off of her. He sighs and leans forward again. "Why don't ya go check on Eli and Tommy? Tommy's not lookin too good." I tell him as I sit down on the edge of the cot.

I watch her sleep for sometime before she moves again. She groans as she rolls over to her back. I reach out and touch her cheek.

"Hey, baby." I tell her as I slide my thumb softly across her rosy cheeks. Her eyes are glassy and bloodshot.

Autumn POV

"Oh Daryl!" I sit straight up, pulling my knee to my chest, trying to catch my breath. The events of the day rush back to me coupled with my insane hangover. The nausea returns and I shiver uncontrollably. I struggle to maintain as Daryl moves to sit on the edge of the cot. I practically crawl in his lap; I want to be as close as possible.

"It's ok AJ. It's ok." He says over and over in my ear as he rocks me. Normally I would be fired up that anyone else called me AJ but coming from his lips, it sounded perfect. I lift my eyes up to his as he places his rough hands on the side of my face.

"You're not running in the opposite direction? You must be a glutton for punishment. Gotta thing for the crazies, Dixon?" I tease him as I shift on the cot so that I can rest my head comfortably on his shoulder.

"Yeah, the tighter the straight jacket, the hotter you are." He says with his sexy lopsided grin. I fight the urge to jump him right there. "You hungry?" he asks.

"I am but I don't want you to leave. Give me a second to get dressed, we'll go together." I swing my legs off the cot and the tent spins. I steady myself before trying to get all the way up. Daryl's hand presses on the small of my back in that sensitive area that drives me wild. As I stand, his hand brushes down the back of my thigh, sending chills throughout my body.

"Did I tell you how much I like the shorts you wear to bed?" A goofy grin spreads across his face. I give him a weak smile as I pull my shirt over my head. Flashes of the bastard in the bathroom, pawing at me hit me full force and I clap my hand to my eyes trying to erase them. Daryl notices and is at my side in an instant.

"Baby, I was just kiddin." He puts his arm around me and pulls me into his chest, pressing my bare skin against him. "What did he do?" he asks. I pull back and look in his eyes. I'm tempted to shrug it off, tell him nothing happened but I can't.

"I was in the bathroom, completely drunk. Shane scared the living shit out of me with his little temper tantrum. I was pretty shaky as it was. Then this fat biker bastard came through the door of the bathroom; he was disgusting. His eyes were evil. He tried to . . . well he wanted to . . ." I don't even want to think about what that asshole wanted. I shake my head, trying to rid the images from my throbbing head. "Anyway, I was able to get at my gun and pushed him against the wall. I was just going to leave him there. I heard the shots in the bar and he tried to push me back against the wall so I pulled the trigger. I shot him, dead in the face. His blood went everywhere." I told him, my breath becoming ragged and harsh. He pulled me into him again, wrapping his arms around me, massaging my bare skin, trying to erase the tension that has settled in my shoulders.

"Let's get you dressed. Yer hungry and you need to see yer boy, I'm sure. I wanna talk to Rick about this guy y'all brought back." He says in my ear, the feel of his breath on my skin gives me goose bumps. He leans down and kisses my neck softly. I pull away from him to get dressed. He's right, I do want to see my baby.

I'm nearly thrown off balance when my son rushes me. He buries his face in my shoulder as I hug him tightly.

"Hey kid, I'm ok; just had a rough night. We all did. I'm back in one piece." I tell him.

"Don't leave again or Dad's gonna tie you to a tree." He tells me seriously. I shoot a look at Mason. An embarrassed blush creeps across his face. Daryl leans down and talks to Eli on his level.

"Don't worry kid, she tries to leave again, I'll help your dad lock her up." He winks at Eli before standing back up again.

"I might like you tying me up." I whisper in his ear. He grins before kissing me on the cheek and heading off with Tommy and Jimmy to find Rick.

Several people descend on me with well wishes, questioning glances and finally a warm bowl of stew. I cover with a story about a massive hangover before heading back toward my tent for another nap. Mason's given me strict orders to stay in bed the rest of the day and for once, I don't fight him on it. I drift in and out of sleep throughout the day, vaguely aware of people coming in to check on me. Sometime after the sun goes down, Daryl comes back to the tent with a plate of food. I sit on the cot and shovel the food in my mouth, suddenly aware of how hungry I am.

"What did I miss?" I ask him as he sets down next to me in the chair.

"Nothin really. Just the usual poutin and arguin. Hershel's lettin us stay." He tells me. I can tell something else is on his mind.

"What's going on in that big head of yours Dixon?"

"Don't do that again. I'm not askin, I'm tellin. Don't just leave here and not tell us where you went." He looked deep into my eyes. His words were pleading and soft. I knew he wasn't trying to control me, he was worried.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Shane's face, it just reminded me of Bryan and I had to get away from him. He's not right Daryl. Dale thinks he killed Otis." I explain, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"We're not talking about that right now. I'll talk to Rick and Dale tomorrow." He said as he took the bowl from my hand. "You want me here tonight?" he asks.

"I want you. . ." I bite my lower lip and stare up at him.

"Now that just ain't fair." He says, standing up and heading out to take our bowls back toward the RV. I spring up from the cot and slip into the short shorts he appreciated earlier. I found one of his button-up shirts he had casually discarded in the corner of the tent and threw it on over my black bra. It wasn't lingerie but it was the best I could do since we hadn't been able to raid a Victoria's Secret any time recently. I sat back on the cot, propped up on my pillows and pretended to read a book while I waited for him to get back. When he returned, I glanced up from my book, pretending to be interested in what I was reading. He stopped in the doorway, staring for a moment. I tried not to smile at the look on his face.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"Don't give me that shit. You know what." He smiles as he makes his way over to the cot.

Let's make a comfy bed on the floor, I don't want to try and sleep next to you on this cot anymore." I tell him as I get up and grab some of the extra blankets. As I bend over to pick up the pillow I dropped on the floor, he's behind me, grasping my hips and pulling me back into him. I can feel him through his loose jeans. I slowly stand up, pushing my hair back behind my ears as I lean back into his chest. He lightly bites my earlobe, making me gasp. He brings his hand around and places it on my neck, pulling me to him even more as he trails a mixture of soft kisses and quick bites. The sensation drives me insane. I pull away from him, turning around to face him.

"Now I said you could sleep in here, not attack me from behind." I try to keep my face stern.

"I'm sorry ma'am. Not sure what came over me. I'll keep my hands to myself." He says as he pulls his hands away and slides them in his back pockets. I take full advantage of his inability to protect himself. His shirt is already unbuttoned and I trail a finger from his collarbone down the middle of his chest to the area above his jeans, letting it linger there for a moment. His eyes are bright and eager. I give him my best naughty school girl look and the effect is immediate. His lips are on mine; his hands grip my thighs, pulling them up around his waist. He holds me like that as he gently lays me back down on the bed.


	21. Chapter 21

**So this chapter starts to set up some ideas I have for Shane and Autumn going forward. As always, I hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

It's still dark when I jolt awake. The odd dream I had slipped away as soon as my eyes fluttered open. I know it wasn't a bad dream, just intense. There's no feeling of dread or anxiety. Daryl was up, immediately at my movement; he has a concerned look on his face.

"What?" he asks

"Just a dream, but not a bad one." I tell him. He raises his eyebrow in confusion. His hand brushes against my bare stomach and something from my dream comes back. It wasn't a bad dream at all.

"You can tell me." He says, confused at the change in my expression.

"I remembered part of my dream." I place my hand on his bare chest; slowly pushing him back on the bed and throw my leg over his waist. He doesn't need any prompting before he's running his hands over my hips. I grab both of his hands and place them over his head. The look in my eyes must tell him to leave them there because when I lower my lips to his collarbone, he leaves them there. I spend sometime teasing his chest and stomach with kisses, using soft flicks of my tongue. When I reach the sensitive area near his hip, his hands are suddenly tangled in my hair. He moans low and soft.

"Damn it woman! Yer killin me here." He whispers as I slowly kiss along his waist. When my tongue hits a particularly sensitive area along his hip, he groans. I push my self off of him for a moment and he takes full advantage, pulling my face up to his. His lips crash against mine and I can taste the hunger. I push away, hoping to tease him a little but I don't get far before he rolls me over, lying on top of me, maneuvering until he is between my thighs. He lies still for a moment and I can't help the silly grin that spreads across my face.

"Are you laughin at me?" he grins back.

"Not at you, no. I'm just enjoying this a little bit." I tell him before he lowers his lips to my neck. He uses a combination of rough kisses and small bites to make me squirm underneath him. The sensation is amazing. I raise my hips to meet his in anticipation. Suddenly, he pulls away from me and slides back to his side of our makeshift bed. Confusion and disappointment wash over me.

He lies on his side next to me and props his head up on his hand. I give him the look of death.

"What? Is something wrong?" I ask him, a hint of aggravation in my voice. He laughs at my irritation.

"Nah, just ain't used to bein attacked by a woman in the middle of the night. I thought I only had to worry about walkers." He said.

"So you pulled away from me, to be mean? You really are a jerk." I tell him, trying my best to pout as I roll on my side away from him. I feel his body press against mine from behind, his hand pulls me into him.

"No I pulled away to tell you how insane you drive me." He says as he kisses my neck. "And how much I like bein with you." He kisses me again. "And how much you mean to me. But if you don't wanna hear it. . ." he chuckles as he lies back again.

I slide to my stomach, facing him. His eyes are closed, a sexy smile across his face. I bite my lower lip and watch him for a few moments. His eyes flutter open and he turns his head slightly to meet my gaze. I search his beautiful eyes for any hint of lies; any hint that whatever he is feeling is fake. I brush the hair away from his forehead. All I see is genuine happiness and safety. In that instant, all the walls I had to keep him out, fell down and I allowed myself to feel things I hadn't felt in so long.

"I didn't realize that bad-ass rednecks felt anything. Please Mr. Dixon, enlighten me." I tell him. In response, he pulls me back on top of him, places his hand on my cheek and kisses me. Every bad cliché movie kiss couldn't have prepared me for the intensity of this kiss. A fiery passion somewhere inside of me burned and I didn't waste a moment before I attacked him, his body responded with the same force. I had to bite my lip to keep from waking the dead.

* * *

Daryl decides to go on a hunting trip the next morning. I think he's trying to get away from the tension in camp.

"Gonna stay here today? No runnin off?" he questions as he pulls me toward him.

"I've been grounded with the threat of being tied to a tree. No way I'm gonna risk it." I press my lips to his; mine are still raw and tingling from the rough kisses last night.

"I was thinkin about askin Eli to come with me. That ok with you?" he asks as he pulls his shirt on. "I'll take care of him for you."

"Daryl, I trust you with my son's life. I know you wouldn't do anything to put him at risk. I think it's a good idea." I tell him. His next words shock me.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask Mason to come too." His words were rushed and he looks at the ground. I gently pull his chin up so I can meet his eyes.

"You don't have to do that. It's not fair to you." I tell him, appreciative of the gesture.

"I just figure maybe he'll calm down a bit if he can see I'm not gonna hurt you." His eyes are full of sincerity.

"You're a brave man." I give him another kiss, this one filled with the same hunger as my attack.

"Mmm, woman. If you don't get outta this tent right now, I'm gonna do bad things to you." He groans

"Yeah, yeah. Promises." I laugh as I turn to head out for breakfast. He playfully slaps my ass and finishes getting dressed. When he joins me a few moments later, his normal scowl is firmly in place. He reserves the tenderness for moments when we're alone. A small thrill runs through me at our little secret. He stomps over to Mason and Eli and I watch their exchange as Carol joins me. Mason seems just as shocked as I am. He glances in my direction for verification. I nod.

"What's that all about?" Carol interrupts my thoughts

"Daryl is going hunting today. He's asking Eli and Mason to join him." I try to play it off as something less important than what it is.

"Wow. Should we be concerned that the two of them are heading into the woods with weapons?" She asks with a playful smile.

"Nah, we'll just stitch them up later. They'll either get along or beat the shit outta each other. Either way, it's an improvement over the tension." Her laugh sounds relaxed for the first time. We get busy on cleaning up around camp. She fills me in on the gossip I missed yesterday. Around noon, Shane approaches the picnic table Carol and I prepping dinner at. His face is tense and he's shifting his weight.

"Can I help you with something Deputy?" I pour every ounce of irritation and anger into my words. Carol looks around to see who's near by. She can sense this may not end well.

"I'd like to talk to you." He says with a serious expression.

"Bad idea. You'll have to find a priest to confess your sins to." He follows as I swing my leg over the bench and stand to walk toward the RV. As I reach the door, he rests his hand on my arm.

"Just listen to me." He tries to make eye contact. I keep my voice calm and even, avoiding his eyes all together.

"Shane, I saw something in you that terrifies me. It's the same demon my ex had. You're too dark, too far gone and anything I say to you is gonna fall on deaf ears because it's not what you want to hear. You want someone to pad your ego, tell you that you're right, then go find Andrea. She's eager enough. I'm not interested. You're wrong and that's it. I know what you did. Not just with the barn. I know about Otis." I pause as the fury rips through his face; his grip on my arm tightens. "You're beyond help Shane. You should just leave."

I wrestle my arm away and enter the RV. My breathing is shallow and shaky. I sit down at the table to steady myself. I cringe at the loud bang as Shane slams his fist into the side of the RV. His fading footsteps tell me it's safe to come back out. Carol's face is sympathetic when I return to the table. She recognizes the same demons I do. Rylee heads over to the table; irritated after witnessing the exchange.

"What did the douchebag want?" I love that she doesn't mix words.

"Plead his case." I shrug it off.

"Because you care? Because anyone does?" she shakes her head in disgust.

"Some people think what he did was for the best." Carol whispers. "Don't get me wrong, sleeping with a barn full of walkers not 50 feet away scared me to death, but Shane's anger is worse. It's dangerous and someone's gonna get hurt."

"Someone should talk to Rick." Rylee says, looking at me.

"Whoa, why me?" I ask her

"Well if not you, maybe you can talk your new boy toy into it." She giggles as she throws a bean at me.

"What is going on with you and Daryl?" Carol asks, she smiles at the relatively normal conversation. I blush.

"I guess, we're together. He's amazing and . . ." they're both staring, waiting for me to finish. "I don't know if there's a word to describe it."

"Are you falling for the redneck?" Rylee practically squeals out of delight.

"I'll answer that when you tell me what's going on with you and Tommy." Working hard to change the subject.

"Oh, nice try there Autumn. Your brother did warn me that you're a master manipulator." She narrows her eyes and smiles. We spend the rest of the afternoon gossiping like housewives. If you ignore the fact that the world ended, it's almost normal.

* * *

When Daryl returns, it doesn't take long for him to hear about the confrontation with Shane. He finds me before I even realize he's back. When he bursts in the tent, I'm folding the rest of Eli's clothes.

"Hey, how did it go today?" I ask before seeing the anger written on his face. Instantly I assume that Mason was a jerk. I frown.

"Shane hurt you today?" he growls. I shake my head and show him my arm.

"He grabbed me but that's as far as it went. I was going to tell you about it." I stand up to comfort him.

"Dale told me as soon as I got here." He explains. I didn't even realize Dale was on top of the RV.

"Shane damaged the RV more than he did me. I'm ok. How was hunting? I don't have to patch up anyone do I?" I tease him, trying to calm him down a little.

"Mason ain't so bad. He worries about you but he's harmless. Eli has somethin to show you." He grabs my hand and leads me out of the tent. My son stands beaming, proud of the three rabbits he got today.

"What's this?" I ask

"Dinner, Daryl let me use his crossbow. It was awesome." His words are rushed and excited. I smile at his enthusiasm. "Dad and I are gonna go clean em and start cooking." He races off, rabbits bouncing against his shoulder.

"Thank you for that." I turn to Daryl.

"You kiddin me? Yer boy is a natural. We had fun, all of us." He reassures me as he rests his hand on my shoulder. He catches sight of Rick and Shane arguing near the RV and the tension returns to his face. He excuses himself and heads off to talk to them. Shane glances my way and I can see the anger from where I stand. It sends a shiver down my back. I lower my eyes and walk off to help Eli with dinner. I feel his eyes on me the entire time.


	22. Chapter 22

Shane's anger grows overnight. He pulls away from the group farther, constantly arguing with Rick about Randall's fate. I avoid him at all costs, especially since I know he's waiting for a chance to "explain" his behavior. His face is constantly a mix of desperate rage. As he grows more and more impatient, I start to worry he might do something stupid.

Carol, Rylee and I have kept to ourselves, working together to make meals, wash clothes and other menial chores. Daryl moved my things into his tent, allowing Eli his own tent that he has barely left. He appreciates the privacy. Most of the morning, I find him and Carl with the sketchpad, working on his comic book. Everything is relatively calm and normal on the surface but tense electricity runs through the camp. Everyone is on edge. The barn is more off limits now then when it was full of walkers.

Rick and Daryl are checking out a map, trying to determine the best area to leave Randall with supplies. I walk up to them both, handing them bottles of water. The morning sun is hot for this time of year.

"Thanks." Rick says, taking the bottle from me.

"You're welcome. Anything else you guys need?" I ask. Both men shake their head. I figure now is the best chance I'm going to get to talk to Rick without Shane around. "Can I talk to you a minute Rick?"

"Yeah, of course. What's going on?" he asks as he takes a long swig of water.

"It's about Shane. I'm worried." He looks down at his feet as I continue. "His temper is going to get someone else killed."

"Someone else?" he questions, raising one eyebrow skeptically.

"He killed Otis, Rick." He listens quietly as I explain the scene I witnessed between Dale and Shane. I go on to tell him what happened the other day between Shane and I. Rick glances at Daryl over my head for confirmation. Daryl nods in agreement.

"Let me talk to him. I'll take him with me to drop Randall off and I'll talk to him. I've known him a long time. This is just him under stress." Rick tries to calm my nerves unsuccessfully.

"I don't like it Rick. You used to be a cop. Think about the domestic calls you used to go on. How many of them escalated?" I'm pleading with him. Daryl wraps a protective arm around my hip, pulling me to him slightly. He understands how afraid I am. Rick looks off to Shane in the distance chopping wood. His movements are quick and angry.

"I'll talk to him. I think it's about time we talked about a few things." He said. It doesn't ease my worry but I know it won't do any good to argue. Frustrated, I walk away. Daryl hurries to catch up with me. He comes to a stop in front of me.

"If Rick don't take care of it, I will. I ain't gonna let him hurt you." He tries to comfort me.

"It's not just me. I see the way his eyes follow Lori. I know what happens when someone that sick thinks something or someone belongs to them. Don't think for an instant that Shane is going to roll over on this." I tell him. My hands are shaking again. I turn to watch Shane. A shiver runs through me.

"Hey AJ, don't do that. I know yer worried but I'll kill him before he even touches anyone in this camp." He pulled my face to meet his stare. His eyes are steady and sincere.

"I hate this Daryl. I hate that I gotta deal with this shit all over again. The world goes to shit and the biggest threat is still these assholes. Ugh!" I lean my head on his chest for a second before pulling away. His face confused.

"What?" he asks

"I forgot we weren't alone." I tell him quietly. He scoffs as he pulls me back against his chest.

"If one of these idiots has an issue with me huggin my girl, let 'em say somethin." He kisses the top of my head gently. I wrap my arms around his waist. "It'll be ok. I'm a hero remember?"

"Yeah, I saw the sidekick you guys came up with." We turn and head back toward camp, his arm safely around my shoulders. "Eli loves it. Thank you for that." I tell him. He kisses me on the temple.

"'s no big deal." He is dismissive.

"I'm gonna take Eli fishing today. I'll take him down by that creek. Jimmy's coming with us." I tell him.

"I might join ya later. I wanna make sure they get Randall outta here without trouble." He tells me.

"You keep up all the good deeds and people are gonna start figuring out you're secret." I tease him.

"What secret is that AJ?"

"That you're one of the good guys. That this bad-ass is really just a front." He laughs at me as I head to the tent to gather the fishing equipment. Jimmy and Eli are ready to go.

* * *

The creek is peaceful but apparently not a good spot for fishing. We abandon the crusade around mid-morning and I watch as Eli splashes around in the water, trying to catch the other creatures he finds. Jimmy and I sit on the ground a few feet away. It's been awhile since I've had time alone with him.

"It's nice to see you smile Jameson." I tell him.

"I could say the same thing about you baby girl." He squints in the sun as he looks up at me. "How's it going with you and Daryl?"

"It's different. It's amazing. It's. . ." I find myself at a loss for words for the second time.

"It sounds like your in love." His smile is genuine and contagious.

"Bite your tongue Jameson. That's the kiss of death. Love is a curse for me. You know how those stories end." I give him a cynical laugh.

"I've seen him with Eli. He cares for that kid. He protects him and Eli loves every minute of it. Have you seen the hero worshipping going on in that book of his? I think it's part of the reason Mason had such a problem with Daryl." Jimmy shrugs.

I bite the inner part of my lip as I let his words sink in. I worry that if I let Eli get too close and Daryl finally wises up, my son's heart will be broken. Jimmy reads the worry on my face.

"Hey baby girl, none of that cynical 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' bullshit you're so famous for. Don't hold Daryl responsible for the shit your ex's pulled. It's not fair to either one of you. He's here now, he's making you happy and I don't want to see you lose that." He tells me seriously. "Don't let your negativity come between you. You'll regret it the rest of your life."

"When did you get so smart?" I tease him.

"I've always been a genius; you just can't accept that reality." I laugh at his confidence.

"We need to find you a woman Jimmy Jam." I tell him. He blushes a little.

"Yeah well if you happen to find some random woman wandering around, you let me know." He jokes. "Although, make sure she has pulse first. And I prefer if she didn't have a taste for human flesh."

"God you're so picky. How do you ever hope to find someone?" we break out in laughter and it feels great. I miss spending time with my best friend. A branch snaps nearby and we're both jump up. Jimmy and I race to Eli's side. I breathe a sigh of relief as Daryl pushes a branch out of his way and makes his way toward us.

"You gave me a heart attack." I tell him

"Sorry. What'd ya catch so far?" Jimmy smiles at our easy interaction. I slap him on the arm.

"Absolutely nothing." Eli's disappointment is obvious. He goes back to splashing in the water. Jimmy & I join Daryl on the other side of the creek. We all sit down in the spot we vacated a moment before.

"Everything go ok back at camp?" I ask

"Shane argued some more but they got outta here ok."

"That guy has lost his mind." Jimmy says. His distaste for Shane is obvious. I don't want to think about Shane anymore so I get up and join Eli in the water. Daryl and Jimmy talk quietly for a while, watching Eli and I splash around. I help him catch a turtle that wandered near the creek.

"What should we name it?" He asks.

"It's up to you sweetie." I tell him.

"I think I'm gonna call him Bruce." His mind is made up.

"Bruce?"

"Bruce Wayne." I smile at him. We find a discarded box and make a nest. Jimmy and Daryl are still deep in conversation. My curiosity gets the better of me. I join them, sitting down gently on the grass. They stop talking.

"Please don't do that. It makes me paranoid." I tell them. Jimmy glances at Daryl and stands up.

"I'm gonna take Eli back to camp. You guys enjoy some quiet time." He smiles. I wait till he is out of earshot before I turn my attention to Daryl.

"Ok, spill." I tell him.

"Nothin." He smirks at me. I raise my eyebrow. "Ok woman, yer relentless."

"Or you're just a pushover." I lean over and give him a quick kiss.

"Keep it up, I ain't tellin you shit." He tells me

"What did he say?" I ask

"He said I make you happy. He said he thinks yer fallin for me and yer stubborn ass won't admit it." I shake my head at Jimmy's meddling. "Is it true?"

"No, it's all about the sex." I say with a straight face.

"That's what I thought." He smiles as he pulls me down in the grass and kisses my neck. His hand is fumbling with the buttons on my shirt.

"Daryl, you're insatiable." I show his neck the same attention as he pulls his shirt over his head.

"Complainin?" he asks, his voice gruff and laced with his sexy accent.

"Never." I roll over so I'm on top of him and I melt into him.


	23. Chapter 23

I trace a finger around one of Daryl's many scars, as I lay curled up next to him on the bank of the creek, wearing his shirt. He wraps his arm around me, pulling me into him. His bare chest is covered in a light layer of sweat.

"What happened to you?" I ask

"The old man was a drunk." He offers as an explanation. The muscles in his chest tighten. I kiss one of his scars lightly.

""I'm sorry." A little embarrassed at my question.

"'s no big deal." We fall back into silence. The afternoon is peaceful. I think about my own parents. My father was the one of the best people I knew; a little idealistic sometimes but still amazing. He was preoccupied with fixing my mom. He thought he could save her, make her whole but the rest of us knew she was broken. I guess we all have our scars; some we wear and others we carry. I sigh, a little louder than I intended.

"What ya thinkin?" he asks.

"I'm thinking that we should get back before the search party finds us like this." I prop myself up on one arm; looking down on him. He looks so serene, almost happy here. I hate to take him back to camp where I know the stony front will return. He opens one eye to look at me.

"Let 'em find us. None of 'em are gonna stop worryin about themselves for more than five minutes to come lookin." He pulls me back to him. I lean over him, placing a hungry, lingering kiss on his lips. He buries his hand in my hair and returns it just as eager. I throw my leg over his waist and straddle him, leaning over to put my head on his shoulder.

"Did'ya really tell Jimmy yer fallin for me?" his gruff voice has an unrecognizable tone. I sit up a little, searching his face for a reaction.

"Not exactly. I tried to tell him how I felt but couldn't find the words. He thinks I'm in love." I tell him, watching him to see if he's going to bolt in another direction.

"And?" he doesn't break eye contact.

"And love hasn't worked out for me so well in the past. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been in love. I kinda just went through the motions, said the words. None of it really felt like love though." He searches my face for something. "What about you? Ever been in love?" He laughs at my question, rolling me off of him and leaning over me.

"I ain't never even had a girl or anything, just a couple of girls that I took home after too many drinks." He explains as he slowly unbuttons his shirt that I threw on. My skin tingles under his touch. "Jimmy says yer afraid of me." His eyes darken a little.

"No, not afraid of you. Never afraid of you. I feel safe with you. That's something new for me. No one has ever made me feel safe. I might be a little afraid that you're gonna leave or . . . that I'm fa. . . " I choke on the words.

"Don't stop." He grips my side and pulls me to face him, giving me no choice but to look him in the eye.

"I'm scared that I'm falling for you and that you're gonna freak out and leave or that you'll get sick of saving me-" He stops my words with an eager kiss, pulling my body close to his, wrapping his arms tightly around me. His lips travel to my neck and collarbone, quickly and less gentle than normal. I wrap my leg around his hip and pull him until he's on top of me. A guttural groan escapes his lips as I pull his lips back up to my own, returning his eager kisses as he fumbles with the button on my shorts. Suddenly he stops, pulling away and staring down at me.

"No one's ever been scared of losin me." He whispers. I reach up to pull him back to me, but he resists. "I ain't never been scared of losin anyone either, cept fer you and yer son." His words are sincere and I lay there in shock for a moment.

"Daryl, I'm not going anywhere. You want me, you're stuck with me." I run my hands through his hair, never taking my eyes off of his own. "I kinda, think I might be sorta in love with you." The words rush out before I can even think. I slap my hand to my mouth. He grabs my wrist, pulling it away and pinning it to the ground.

"Well I kinda. .." he kisses my neck, "think I might" trailing kisses back up my cheek "be sorta in love-" I raise my head off the ground to meet his lips before he finishes. We fade into each other, not caring about the rest of the world or the nightmare it brings.

We head back to camp mid-afternoon; my elated mood obvious on my face. As we approach the farmhouse, Rick and Shane are speeding up the driveway. Randall is still in the backseat. Daryl turns to face me.

"You go find Eli. I'll find out what the hell is goin on." I give him a quick kiss before heading toward our tent. Jimmy, Tommy and Rylee are all sitting outside of the tent, being hustled in poker by my son. I flop down next to them. When they see my face, they burst out laughing.

"What is your problem?" I ask, unable to stop smiling.

"Nothing sis. Did you enjoy your afternoon?" another round of chuckles from the trio.

"Y'all are nosy and need to mind your own business." I try to fake irritation unsuccessfully. Instead, my words offer them some kind of confirmation.

"Jesus Christ, you two are like teenagers." Jimmy says. A steady heat rises in my face. My gaze automatically searches for Daryl. He's helping Rick and Shane get Randall to the barn. I watch as they put him inside and close the door. Shane marches back to camp, an odd determination etched on his face. He glances in my direction, making brief eye contact before I turn back to the barn. Rick and Daryl talk for a little bit before they head back to camp.

"What's that all about?" Tommy asks. I don't answer. Daryl heads straight into the tent without a word. I jump up to go find out what's going on. He sits on the edge of a trunk in the corner, head in his hands. I stand in front of him and he grabs both of my thighs, placing his forehead on my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair.

"What's going on baby?" I ask.

"Nothing." He pushes me away as he stands up and grabs his crossbow. I put my hand on his arm gently. "I'm goin huntin."

Recognizing that he needs his space and a little disappointed at him pushing me away, I let him go without a word. I stand in the tent for a few minutes longer, struggling to put the carefree smile back on my face before I rejoin my family. The rest of the afternoon and evening pass without incident.

As the sun dips low behind the hills, Daryl hasn't returned to camp yet. I swallow my fear and go through the motions of helping Carol with dinner. Lori sits down at the table with us, frustration written all over her face. I follow her glare and notice that Andrea is returning it with the same intensity.

"What's the matter?" Carol whispers, not catching the stare down between the two women.

"I'm just sick of people not pulling their own weight around here; being reckless and irresponsible." Lori answers. I scoff at her, she's one to judge. Her focus turns to me. "What? You got something to say?"

"I just don't think you should judge anyone about their contributions to the camp. You do your family's laundry while Rylee, Carol and I do the rest. You help us cook when you're not chasing after Rick and Shane, leading both of them on. You barely watch your son; by the way, do you even know where he is right now?" I keep my voice calm, not wanting to attract attention.

"You don't know anything about me-" she starts

"You're right, and I don't want to. What I do know is the stuff I see. You get mad at Andrea because she feels more productive with a gun in her hand, standing watch. You chase after your husband the other night, wreck Maggie's car, fight with Shane in the middle of nowhere on a deserted road at night about coming back to be with your son and you want to talk about reckless and irresponsible?" I interrupt.

"You have room to talk, what about your trip with Herschel into town? If my husband wouldn't have come to rescue you, I wouldn't have had to chase after him." She says.

"First of all, your husband didn't know I was with Herschel when he offered to go after him. No one knew where I was so don't give me that line of bullshit. Second of all, if you wouldn't have played Shane and Rick against each other in the first place, Shane wouldn't have freaked out like that and I wouldn't be so afraid of what he might do. You want to blame everyone else when you're the one that tore this camp apart in the first place." I don't wait for her response before I push myself away from the table and head toward my tent. Eli is sitting with Carl inside his tent and I peak in on them to make sure they're ok.

"Hey guys, how's the comic coming?" I ask, pushing my irritation at Lori out of my voice

"We're working on putting the story together." Eli turns his sketchpad to me so I can see. Carl is concentrating on his own work.

"Nice job, I like it so far. Maybe next time we go on a run, we'll find some colored pencils for you." He smiles before going back to his work.

Just as I stand up to turn around, Daryl's next to me. Relief washes over me until I see the worry and anger on his face.

"Hi." I whisper softly, unsure of what to say.

"Hey." He answers, emotionless. A wave of fear washes over me. He's frustrated and pulling away. I grab his hand and drag him into the tent behind me. He puts up no resistance. He sets his crossbow on the ground and before he's standing back up, I wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his chest. His arms hang at his sides for a few moments before he returns the embrace. He buries his face in my hair and we stand like that, quiet for some time.

Finally, I break away from him, looking up into his eyes. The anger and frustration are obvious on his face. Normally, I'd be terrified of any man who looked at me like that. But underneath it all, I can see his pain. The rest is easy to ignore.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"The guy knows Maggie. He went to school with her. Even if we drop him off somewhere, he knows how to find the farm again." He explains in monotone. The anger is from his fear. He doesn't want this guy coming back here.

"Rick wants me to talk to him tomorrow." He continues.

"Why you?" I ask

"Rick ain't gonna talk to him the way he wants me to and Shane'll kill 'im if we leave 'em alone together." He explains.

"You gotta do what you feel is right Daryl. I'm gonna be here, no matter what. I trust you to make the hard decisions for us." I sigh before sitting down on the trunk. He stands there watching me.

"Before all of this, I couldn't even stand to watch a boxing match. The idea of someone hurting another person, for sport or any reason, was disgusting to me." I watch as his shoulders fall and he looks down. "But now, struggling to survive, I understand the need to fight for what's yours." He kneels down in front of me, watching me explain. "You go out there and do what you need to do to protect us. We both need to fight for us. You can fight all the bad guys and at the end of the day, I'm gonna fight to keep you with me. No more pushing me away." I touch his cheek gently.

"What if we have to kill this guy?" he asks. I think about it for a minute.

"Then do it. If it's us or him, you have to." I kiss him gently. I sigh before I continue. "I love you Daryl. I do. I trust you to keep us safe, you figure out how to do that and I'll stand behind you no matter what."

"You love me hu? It must be my good looks." He jokes.

"Yeah, that doesn't hurt. But really, it's more like a lack of options." I tease as he tackles me to the ground. I giggle as he struggles to pin me down underneath him.

"Lack of options?" he kisses the spot on my collarbone that he knows drives me insane and I writhe against his body. "Or maybe it has somethin to do with that." He laughs as I pout at him.

"That's completely unfair. You have no weaknesses." I complain.

"I got a couple." His face turns serious as he releases his grip on my wrists and runs his hands down the length of my upper body. He lowers his body against mine and kisses me. The intense passion from earlier returns and I can't help but raise my hips to press against him. Just as I start to unbutton his shirt, I hear something. I pull my head away from him.

"Ewww, really mom?" Eli exclaims. Daryl and I both laugh as we pull away from each other, straightening ourselves out.

"Maybe you shouldn't sneak up on people." I tease him. He crosses over to sit down next to us on the floor.

"What's up kid?" Daryl asks.

"Carl's mom just made him go back to his own tent. She said he needed to stay by her." He explained, a little bummed out. It's tough being the only one his age. Daryl looks at me as I shake my head in frustration.

"Don't worry, it won't last. She's just mad at mom. I'll talk to Rick." I reassure him. "Let's go get dinner."


	24. Chapter 24

**Daryl's POV**

The kid sits there beggin, askin me to let him go. My fist connects with the side of his face, over and over. What his friend tried to do to AJ just addin to my rage. He's holdin back.

"I told you-" he cries

"You told me shit!" I yell in his face.

"I met those guys on the road"

"How many in your group?" I ask. He doesn't answer, his head rocking back and forth. I ain't waitin for his answer. I take my knife out of my belt. I ain't lettin this kid or his bastard friends hurt anyone else.

"No, no, no, come on man." He begs when he sees the blade. I bring it down hard, stabbin the floor between his legs. I'm inches from his face.

"How many?" I ask again.

"30, 30 guys." He stutters.

"Where?"

"Uh-" I reach over, rippin the bandage from the wound on his leg. He screams. "I don't know, I swear. We were never anyplace for more than a night." I press the knife into the stitches.

"Scoutin? Plannin on stayin local?" I ask

"I don't know. They left me behind." He answers through tears. I press the knife further into the gash on his leg.

"Ya ever pick off a scab?" he's still beggin as I continue. "Start real slow at first. Sooner or later you just gotta rip it off." The memories of AJ, hurt and broken keep comin at me. This kid and his group, it's their fault. Now he thinks we're just gonna let him run back to them, tell em where we are.

"They have weapons, heavy stuff. But I didn't do anything"

"Yer boys shot at my boys, tried to take this farm, hurt one of our girls. You just went along for the ride? Yer tellin me yer innocent?" He's got some nerve

He explains how the group took him in, tryin to tell me how they're just like us. He thought he was safe with them. Then he starts to tell me about the night they went scavengin, came across some guy with his girls. I stare him down as he tells me what those assholes did to the girls, makin the daddy watch.

I start thinkin about AJ and what that sick fuck did to her. What the rest of the group would do to our camp, Carol, Beth, Maggie, the boys. Suddenly everythin blurs together and I start swingin. When all the anger's gone, I leave him there cryin and head back to camp.

* * *

**Autumn's POV**

I try to wait patiently for Daryl to get back from questioning Randall. My nerves are on fire and I can't sit still. We're all gathered together. Lori and Andrea are questioning Rick and Shane. Shane's looking calmer than he has in days. Maybe Rick was able to get through to him.

Daryl walks up. His knuckles bloody, crossbow on his back.

"Boy there's got a gang. 30 Men. They got heavy artillery and they ain't lookin to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead." He looks at Eli and Carl. "And our women, they're gonna. . . they're gonna wish they were." He looks down at his feet, shifting his weight.

"What did you do?" Carol asks

"Had a little chat." He explains, looking down at his knuckles. I stand up, wanting to go to him. Carol closes her eyes in disgust before walking away.

"No one goes near this guy." Rick says. The group starts discussing what to do next. Dale is angry. Rick walks away, Dale chases after him. I silently tend to Daryl's hand, ignoring their debate. He's watching me carefully. Shane heads away from camp, an evil grin on his face. He looks almost giddy.

"You ok?" I ask him, cleaning the scrapes covering his hands. He nods. I can tell he needs some space. Something's on his mind. "Why don't you go hunting or something today? I can make myself busy here. Rick and the rest of the guys are here to keep an eye on us. We'll be ok."

"Yeah, maybe I should. I ain't gonna go far. I'll stay around in case somethin happens." He murmurs.

"Be safe baby." I lean in and give him a kiss, a few people are staring at us.

"Yeah, ok. I'll be back." He's a bit embarrassed at the scene but he gives me a smile.

Lori heads to her tent, not even looking at Carl. I shake my head as I walk over to the two boys.

"You guys can play but stay out here where I can see you." Both boys nod and head out to play some catch. I watch them as Rylee sits down beside me at the picnic table.

"How you holding up?" she asks, watching the boys toss the ball with me.

"I'm ok, just worried ya know?" I tell her.

"Yeah, so what happened with Lori? Carol told me you let her have it."

"I don't know." I tell her honestly. "Something about what she said pissed me off. "

"You mad at Daryl?" she asks

"No, why would I be?" I shoot her a confused look.

"He had to do it to get answers." She starts

"No, wait. I don't care that he did that. I told him to. I told him I trusted him to keep us safe. I know who Daryl is. This has nothing to do with it. I watch the way Lori treats Carol, the way she treats us, the way she treats Daryl. What gives her the right to treat us like we haven't earned our place here? We've all lost people." I tell her. I watch as Shane walks toward the kids. Carl runs over to catch up to him. Eli heads back toward me. I keep my eye on Shane and the boy. They start walking toward the barn together.

"You're right. Just next time, make sure I'm there when you tell her off." She laughed as Eli reached us. We sit down to work on some school work together. I excuse myself to get something from the tent. Watching my shoes as I walk, I hear footsteps approaching. I figure it's Dale making his rounds to try and convince everyone not to do this. I don't look up when he joins me.

"We need to talk. You can't keep avoiding me." Shane says, I stop in my tracks and turn to stare at him.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say to me. I told you I wouldn't judge your words that day in the town hall. I can judge your actions. Especially when I know you're being reckless. Your judgment is clouded because you can't stop thinking about Lori for 5 minutes to look around. We're all just trying to survive and keep as much of our human side intact. You think that because you feel your world ended, the rest of us should too. You killed for her, not for Carl, not for the good of the camp, not even for you. For her. How are any of us supposed to feel safe when you're so willing to sacrifice all of us for her? Did I sum it up for you?" I turn to walk away, his arm goes up in front of me.

"You were my friend. The person that got me." He says.

"I felt for you Shane. I really did. I get how hard it is but I wouldn't let that make me sacrifice anyone else." I say.

"You're willing to let us kill Randall to keep Daryl safe." He accuses. He's right, I can't help admitting that. I start to walk away, not wanting to hear anymore. His hand closes around my wrist, pulling.

I'm not done-" he starts through gritted teeth.

"She is." Daryl walks up, pure fury in his eyes. He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the tent, not taking his eyes off Shane. When we get inside, he checks me over for bruises or signs of a breakdown. I shake my head, reassuring him.

"I'm fine." My voice is calm, surprisingly so are my nerves. My head is a mess but it's only my own self-doubt and guilt. I was willing to risk Randall's life for Daryl and Eli, my family and our group.

"Hey listen, look at me." He says as I look down at my feet. "You're not like him. I heard what he said. Otis was innocent. He was trying to help us, trying to do right by Rick's boy. Shane killed him as bait for walkers, and then he ran back here like a coward. He lied to all of us. We're talkin about killin someone who watched as people did awful, nasty things to young girls, stayed with them, shot at you. He ain't innocent." I nod at his words. He's right; I just needed to hear it from his lips, soothing my fear and guilt away. He puts his arm across my shoulders and pulls me in for a kiss.

"Thanks for saving me. . . again." I joke. He really was my white knight.

"I'm gettin used to it now." He laughs as we walk back out of the tent and over to Eli. He shows Daryl his homework and they joke easily. Sitting across from them, watching how easy their interaction is, it feels right. I remember thinking that I deserved being a punching bag, thinking I wasn't worth anything else. I never thought I'd find someone who could make me smile or Eli for that matter. I turn back to talk to Rylee again and enjoy the afternoon. I don't even let it bother me when Dale approaches Rylee and I to discuss Randall.

"Dale, I trust Daryl and Rick to make that decision. I understand where you're coming from, I really do but we're not being realistic here. There is no other choice that keeps us safe. You know that. If we had the option of prison, I'd be happy with that but all of that is long gone." I tell him.

"Don't look at me. Thomas and I already decided to back Rick on this. There's too many risks involved with the alternatives. We can't risk everything we've fought so hard for just to be compassionate to someone who was willing to shoot at us and participate in whatever his group was doing. We've all lost people Dale, we can't let that loss mean nothing by risking everything we have. I'm sorry." Rylee agrees.

"Well, I guess that's that. We just kill those that hurt us." His voice angrier than I've ever heard. This is hard on him and we all understand that.

"No, we eliminate the threat." Jimmy says as he joins us. Dale watches us, mouth opened before he finally heads into the RV.

"It's almost time to decide." Jimmy tells Daryl. "You guys should stay here."

"No, Jimmy. We're all going to be there." I tell him firmly. He looks to Daryl who just nods in agreement.

"All right. We should head in. It's almost time." Jimmy says.

"Eli, I want you to stay outside. You can stay on the porch or you can go inside with Carl." I tell him as we walk in the house. He heads down the hallway to Beth's room.

I stay quiet the entire time, listening to everyone go back and forth. Daryl grows impatient next to us. Dale stands alone, asking us not to kill him. The arguments are both important, both true, it comes down to the risk, the "what if" factor. When Dale turns the subject to our group, I feel Daryl tense.

"What about Mason's group. We let them stay, they could have killed us in our sleep, robbed us blind. None of you all suggested killing them at that time." He spoke.

"None of us rode into town, shooting at you guys, hanging out with killers and worse." I say calmly. Rick nods.

"If you go through with it, how would you do it? Would he suffer?" Patricia asks. The conversation turns to how to kill him and what to do with the body. Dale is horrified.

"Hold, hold, hold on. You're talking about this like it's already decided." Dale interrupts.

"You've been talkin about it all day, goin around in circles. You just wanna go around in circles again?" Daryl asks, pacing now.

"This is a young man's life and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation! Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him?" I turn away from his rant. The group goes back to arguing. Finally the argument dies down. Dale is losing, he's frustrated and disgusted. Begging the group to make the "right" decision; he asks us to stand with him.

"He's right. We should try and find another way." I'm shocked that Andrea comes to his side. No one else says a word. Dale unwillingly accepts that no one else is going to stand with him. He crosses to Daryl and I.

"Your right. This group is broken." He says before storming through the door. No one says a word as we file out of the house. Daryl stays behind to talk to Shane and Rick. Eli and Carl run out of the back room to see what they missed. They don't ask after they see the solemn expressions. Instead they head off to Eli's tent. I notice that Carl is covered in mud.

"Carl, where were you today?" I ask him. "Eli was gonna play with you but we couldn't find you after you went off with Shane."

"I went down by the creek, got a little muddy." He explains. His face tells me that he's hiding something.

"Maybe you should go check in with your mom." I tell him and he hurries off in her direction. Eli starts to whine in protest.

"Not tonight Eli. It's just not the night. We all need to be with our families tonight ok?" He nods, sensing the sadness in my tone.

After Eli is in bed, I sit by the fire with Jimmy, Tommy and Rylee outside my tent. Mason is comforting Carol. She's had a rough day. We watch as Rick, Shane and Daryl escort Randall down to the walker barn. I can hear his pleading from where we sit.


	25. Chapter 25

**There is a little bit where the story goes off from the show just to add in my OCs. I hope you like where this one goes. **

* * *

We all sit in silence, waiting for it to be over; waiting to hear the tell-tale gunshot signaling that it was over. Minutes pass that feel like hours. Everyone watches as Daryl and Shane walk with Randall back to the slaughter barn, followed in the distance by Rick and Carl. We rush over to find out what's going on.

Rick explains that they're keeping Randall in custody for now. A slight relief runs through me. Daryl returns and stands next to me. Rick looks scared. Lori sends Carl inside. I watch as he hangs his head and walks toward the house.

"He followed me. He wanted to watch. I couldn't . . ." Rick started. I turned to Daryl and we walked back toward our tents. Andrea offers to go tell Dale.

"It's gonna be ok. I ain't gonna let anything happen." Daryl whispers as we reach the fire and sit back down with everyone. I reach over and grab his hand.

"I know you won't." He gives me his sexy lop-sided grin and we sit staring at the fire, enjoying the warmth. Screams shatter the night. Daryl takes off running, Jimmy offers to stay with Eli and the rest of us follow. We reach the source of the screams and Daryl tackles a walker off of Dale, stabbing him in the head.

Dale's stomach is ripped open, his intestines sliding out of him, blood everywhere. I turn away, trying not to think of the sight. Shane's there, reaches out to me pulls me in. I let him for a second. I turn back in time to see Daryl take the gun from Rick's hand and kneel down.

"Sorry brother." He says before he pulls the trigger. I yelp and turn back around, whimpering. Shane reaches out to put his arms around me. I pull away when I realize who it is. Daryl is at my side, pulling me into his chest, holding me together. He slowly walks me back to camp, Rylee and Tommy close behind. I don't say a word as Daryl helps me inside the tent. He turns back to talk to Jimmy and Tommy. I listen as they tell Jimmy about Dale. Eli cries out a little.

"Hey Eli. You wanna sleep in with me and yer ma tonight?" he asks. I don't hear my son's answer.

"Actually, why don't you come stay with me tonight?" Jimmy offers. I hear Eli go into his tent to get some things.

"I think you two deserve to comfort each other. I'll keep him safe. You take care of her. She was close to Dale." Jimmy tells Daryl quietly before Eli joins them again. Daryl zips up the door when he is back in the tent with me. In the light from the lantern, I can see Dale's blood all over his clothes. Fresh tears prick my eyes.

I push myself up off the trunk and help him peel his clothes off. Each time my hand touches his skin, a rush of energy flows through me. I step closer to him as I pull his shirt off of him. He slides his arms around my waist and leans his head down near mine. He just holds me there for a minute. I can feel his chest press in and out with each breath. I pull away and turn to change my own clothes. He slips his arm around my waist, pulling me into him; kissing my shoulders and neck. His hands slid up the hem of my shirt, sliding all the way up, stopping in all the right places before pulling my shirt over my head. He quickly unsnaps my bra, letting it fall to the floor. I turn around to face him and his lips crash into me, hard and furious. He quickly pulls me down on top of him, his movements becoming more desperate and eager. His mouth moves away from mine for just a moment.

"I love you AJ" he whispers before he continues what he started.

We're all up and headed to the barn for another funeral before the sun is high in the sky. We all stand, listening to Rick's words. His kind words asking for cooperation, unity and courage honor Dale in the best possible way. After the service, a group decides to go out scouting, making sure we're safe. Daryl, Shane, T-Dog and Andrea head off in Otis' truck to tighten up the fences.

I spend the morning in my tent, reading a book. I don't come out even to eat until I hear the truck return. Hershel's allowing us to move into the house. Everyone's packing up. I come to stand by Daryl who puts a casual arm around me. Shane is livid about Rick letting Randall go. Daryl pushes me toward the tent following behind.

"You pack up Eli's stuff, I'll get ours later. I'm gonna go board up the slaughter barn." He tells me before heading off.

I quickly get Eli's stuff packed and start working on mine and Daryl's things when I watch Lori stomp off toward Shane. I shake my head. She stands there, talking to him for only minutes. The look on his face is heartbroken. Something inside me tells me to help him, to reach out. Damn conscious. I make sure I grab my gun and head over to where Shane is still standing, speechless and distraught.

"She loves me." He said. "She doesn't regret it, she loves me. That baby, it could be mine."

"Shane, she's with Rick. She left you, standing here to go back to him. That's her family. You can't think that way." I try to comfort him. His eyes are insane. My words fall deaf on him. He turns to me, suddenly and uneasily calm.

"Why don't you go back to your boyfriend? You know, Rick's lackey." His tone and flawless cover scare me and I turn, fighting the urge to run. By the time I reach my tent, I've got my nerves under control and finish packing. The distraction works until I see Shane speed back up the driveway, stopping by the porch where Rick and Daryl are talking. Daryl quickly leaves when Shane gets out, heading over to help me.

"You have to talk to Rick. Shane's delusional. He's completely gone." I tell him as soon as he reaches me.

"What did he do to you now?" he starts to walk toward the porch. I stop him.

"No, nothing like that. I saw Lori go down to talk to him and whatever she said, well it killed him. I watched it. He damn near fell to the ground. I don't know why but I went over to make sure he was going to be ok. I took my gun, just in case. But when I got there, he was talking crazy. Telling me that the baby was his and she still loved him. I tried to calm him down and out of nowhere he was fine. It was like a light switch. Daryl, he's gone." I tell him.

"Damn, Rick's leavin him here while we go. I gotta talk to him. " I nod. He heads back out to find Rick. Jimmy and Tommy come over and help me take the stuff inside. I head outside to grab my last pack.

"You know, I'm not crazy. I know you think that lately, but I see clearer than any of you on this farm. You realize that?" Shane's voice is close to me. I didn't see him there. My hand automatically goes to where my gun is supposed to be. It's inside, in a box of my things. He hooks his arm through mine, holding it close to his side, dragging me toward the slaughter barn. I see his gun in his belt.

"Shane-" I start

"No, you had your chance to talk to me. I begged you to and I needed a friend. You turned your back to me, judged me. Now you're gonna help me. You're coming with me." He says menacingly. "You're coming with me and you're not going to say a fucking word or I will kill you and then I will come back and kill everyone who means something to you. Understand?"

I nod my head, trying to drag my feet as he pulled me along. I needed there to be tracks, something to follow. He pulls me into the slaughter barn. Throwing me down to the floor, keeping his gun on me, he stands over Randall and me for a minute before sitting down on the stool. He stares at the young man for some time before he slaps himself in the head and flies off the stool, pressing the gun to Randall's head. I try not to scream; afraid he's going to shoot. I back up toward the door, trying not to get his attention. Shane stops when he hears the handcuffs rattle. The kid's wrists are bloody and scratched, from fighting against the handcuffs. Shane smiles and helps the kid out of the cuffs. He turns toward me, grabbing me up to a standing position by my shirt. I struggle to keep my feet under me as he pushes Randall and me through the door, holding the gun to us.

"Keep walking and shut your mouths. One sound and you're both dead." He says as he leads us into the woods. Once we are in the woods, Randall starts making noises through the gag. A few feet into the woods, Shane starts talking to Randall, asking him about his camp.

"What about her?" Randall nods toward me.

"A little offering up to your group. Ya know, get them to let me stay." Shane says, my face twists in disgust. We walk farther away, I'm trying to pay attention to the way we're going. My fear makes that difficult. Randall's still talking and as we round a corner, Shane reaches around him and snaps his neck in one clean movement. I cry out and cower, sure that he's going to kill me now. He walks swiftly over to me.

"This'll get the redneck pissed." He says as I feel the butt of his gun smash against my temple. I fall to the ground, blinding pain in my head. Shane raises the gun again and I pass out before the impact.


	26. Chapter 26

**So this chapter is a little confusing but I did that on purpose. Autumn's been knocked out. She has a concussion and she's disoriented. **

* * *

It's somewhat dark when I come too. Randall's body lies a short distance away and Shane is nowhere to be found. I push myself slowly off the ground, holding my hand to my head, the pain almost unbearable. I look around, trying to find the direction back to camp. I try to follow some of the footsteps I find but my vision keeps blurring and I'm light headed. I sit down on a log for a moment and nausea rips through me, causing me to heave. The pain in my head intensifies.

"Autumn!" I hear Daryl's voice before I black out again but only for a moment this time. He jerks me awake. "Hey, hey no sleepin now. Ya gotta wake up." I feel another pair of hands on my opposite arm, helping me stand up.

"Baby, Shane. It was Shane." I croak out, my voice unrecognizable.

"What do you mean?" Glenn asks. My mouth moves but no sound comes out. I lean on Glenn for support and we slowly follow Daryl through the woods.

"There's more than one set of tracks here, he must have followed him farther than he thought." Daryl says. I fade out as he continues talking to Glenn. Suddenly Glenn sits me down next to a tree.

"Shh, " he says standing next to me. I lean against the tree trying to hold on to reality. Suddenly I hear a yell from very nearby and my eyes fly open in time to see Daryl struggling with a walker. Glenn steps up and grabs the walker from behind, allowing Daryl to push them both to the ground. The two fight on the ground until Glenn grips the blade he had and brings it down in Randall's skull. The two stand over the body, looking it over.

I hear Daryl tell Glenn that his neck was snapped but there were no bites. Everything comes back to me, I struggle to stand up.

"Shane did it. He broke Randall's neck and knocked me out. He's crazy. I've never seen him like this." I tell Daryl, breathlessly.

"Shit, Rick's out there with Shane right now." Daryl says.

We rush back to camp, looking for the two men along the way. My head is in immense pain. I try to explain to Daryl, the best I can what happened on the way. Dread and fear building inside me. A gunshot rings out. We break into camp and rush to the house. Shane fills everyone in the best he can about what happened. Lori asks him to go look for Rick. He agrees. Glenn helps me sit down for a moment and Hershel comes over to look at my head. Daryl calls everyone out to the porch; I stay seated, head in my hands.

Mason and Eli are seated next to me, everyone else runs out to help Daryl and the rest of the group. The mass of confusion adds to the dizziness and everything is a blur. Lori and Carol are looking for Carl who's missing again. Panic rises up in my throat. I pull my son into me as we hear the cars and Daryl's bike roar to life. There's sudden gunfire from outside. I move toward the door. Mason stops me, telling me that I need to sit down and relax.

"The barn's on fire." Beth says

I race to where she's looking, there are so many walkers and I can't see where anyone is. I watch hoping to see some sign of them but the gunfire doesn't stop. I turn away from the window and drop down into a chair. Mason heads out to the porch to keep anything away from the house with Hershel. Carol and Lori are still searching for Carl. Carol runs back into the house, telling us we have to go. We rush to get back out the door I stop to grab my pack and my gun. I follow Lori and Carol off the porch toward Hershel's truck.

Carol gets separated from us and I watch in horror as Patricia is attacked by walkers. T-Dogg and Andrea pull up right in front of us. Lori and Eli jump in the front of the truck with T-Dogg but I'm not able to get in before it takes off. I cry out, begging them to come back. Beth runs after them and tries to catch up. I lose sight of her in a swarm of walkers.

I turn back to see Mason and Hershel still fighting off the horde. A walker comes up behind Hershel and Rick shoots it, dragging Hershel to the suburban in the process. Carl jumps in the front seat. I run to catch up with them. Mason and I jump in just as they take off. I can't see Daryl or Eli anywhere. Mason sits next to me in the car, placing his arm around my shoulder. We drive as fast as we can away from the farm. I struggle to keep myself awake and coherent.

"We'll head back to the highway and see if we can find them." Rick is trying to reassure us. I stay silent, pressing my forehead against the cool glass. I just keep hoping that T-Dogg got Eli out of there. Mason picks at his fingernails in silence, his hands shaking with the same fear I'm struggling with. I reach out and grab his hand, rubbing my finger in a slow circle against the back of it. He grips mine tighter and we ride in silence.

The suburban comes to a stop in front of the car that we left for Sophia. No one is here. Carl is yelling at his dad. He walks away and leans against a car a short distance from me. I reach out to him, pulling him into a hug. I can't fight the tears anymore and I break down in clear sobs. Mason rushes to me; holding me up as we comfort Carl. My breath is coming in short raspy sounds. Mason buries my face in his chest, trying to quite me. He pulls me and Carl over to the other side of the suburban with Rick.

We stand there silent, letting a walker pass us. Hershel and Rick argue about leaving. Mason's pulling me toward the door again. In the distance, I hear the roar of a motorcycle. I stop and look up to see Daryl and Carol ride up; followed closely by others. My heart soars when I see the blue truck and I sprint to the side of it pulling Eli out into my arms. Mason's by my side, crying and hugging us both. I bring my head up to see who else made it. Tommy and Rylee climb out the backseat of Glenn and Maggie's car but I don't see Jimmy and Beth. Tommy reaches me first, wrapping his arms around me.

"Jameson. Where's Jameson?" I ask tearfully. He shakes his head.

"Is he-" I start to ask as another car pulls up behind us. I turn slowly to look.

Jameson and Beth are inside. I run for him and pull him into my arms; tears streaming down my face. We decide to leave quickly, considering the amount of walkers nearby. Eli, Mason and Jimmy take off in the car Jimmy found. I jump on the back of Daryl's bike, holding on tight, so glad he's alive. The rest of the group piles into the Suburban and Maggie's car. I lean into Daryl's back, pulling myself as close as possible.

We easily ride along the back road. The pain in my head is starting to return. Rick beeps at us from the back. He's out of gas. I stand up, lean against the guard rail. My head is throbbing. I barely pay attention to the argument on the road. Daryl starts telling Rick about Randall; how he died, how he was a walker without bites.

"We're all infected." Rick says, my eyes fly up at him. He explains how Jenner told him. I lean over, placing my arms on my knees, trying to keep my consciousness. Jimmy comes to my side, helps me to sit down on the ground. My head is reeling. Hershel comes to check on me and as brings my eyes up to his, everything goes fuzzy but I stay concious.

When a fire is built, we gather around it, fighting to stay warm. I curl up next to Daryl, Eli seated between us.

"We're not safe with him, keeping something like that from us." Carol whispers to Mason before turning to Daryl. "Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."

"No. Rick's done all right by me." Daryl says as he tosses another stick on the fire.

"You're his henchman. We're a burden." She points to herself and me. "You deserve better."

"What do you want?" he asks, getting a little angry.

"A man of honor." She answers, I shoot her a look of repulsion. What is she implying?

"Rick has honor." Daryl tells her, turning back to Eli and me. I shiver in the cool air and he pulls both of us closer. Eli is starting to drift off. I pull his head onto my leg.

Something rustles in the distance. Everyone jumps up, terrified. They start arguing about leaving. Rick finally has enough.

"I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people for Christ's sake." He yells.

He explains what happened with Shane. Everyone is looking at him in disgust. I jump up to his side.

"Shane led Randall out into the woods. He snapped his neck and knocked me out cold just to get you guys to believe Randall escaped with me. To make you all come out looking so he could get Rick alone. He told me before it happened that the baby was his, that Lori was his and he would have killed to make that happen. You all want to judge Rick?" I stare at Carol intently. "That's fine but he's done what he could to keep us right; what he thought was best. I don't see anyone else helping him make those decisions except Daryl." Rick lays a hand on my arm to calm me.

"You all want to leave, go ahead" he tells everyone. No one moves to leave. They all know he's right. He tells them everyone is welcome to stay but it's not a democracy anymore. I nod my head in agreement. Silence falls over the group as we settle back in by the fire. Hoping to make it to morning.


	27. Chapter 27

The days pass steadily. Winter air falls over us and finding the "safe" place that Rick is so desperately searching for seems to be near impossible. We move from place to place, never staying longer than a night. Food is scarce and people are scared. My faith in Rick is still firmly in place but I feel tension among some of the others.

About a month after leaving the farm, we stumble upon a small town, nearly abandoned. I climb off the back of Daryl's bike, freezing from the piercing cold. Daryl drapes his heavy poncho over me and rubs his hands up and down my arms.

"Maybe you should ride in one of the cars from now on." He whispers as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him. I lean against the warmth of his chest and shake my head.

"And give up the chance to feel you up every time we're on the road, no way." I give him a weak smile. Exhaustion fades over the group and we just want to get settled in for the night. We head over to Rick and the rest of the guys.

"We need to find some gas, some food and a place to stay." He directs. No one argues.

We've all fallen into the dictatorship he demands without argument. Rick and I have grown closer since the farm. I trust him to lead us and go along with whatever he decides. Daryl trusts him too and Rick often comes to him for advice. He's kept us alive against the odds.

"Daryl, take Mason and Tommy, try to find a safe place to stay tonight. T-Dogg, Jimmy and I will search for some gas. Glenn you ok to scavenge for supplies?" he asks.

"Rick, Autumn and I can help Glenn." Maggie speaks up and I nod in agreement. "Everyone else can stay here with my dad, safe in the cars."

"If you're sure that you two are up to it, I'm sure Glenn would appreciate the help." He concedes.

We break up after moving everyone that is staying into two cars safely and bundle the boys up. These weeks have been hardest on them and Lori. Unfortunately my sympathy for Lori left the moment I realized she was blaming Rick for Shane's death. Nothing he did could please her and she had become almost unbearable to be around. Carl joined our family more times than not for meals and sleeping. He and Eli had become inseparable. Lori couldn't care less what her son was doing or when. He often turned to Carol and me for anything he needed. Some of us had even taken to giving up our food just to make sure the boys had enough.

"Hey, Chinaman, you keep an eye on my girl all right?" Daryl joked. He was trying to let his guard down more often now that we had no choice but to work together. I saw how much he struggled with it but was thankful for the effort.

"Babe, you know he's Korean right?" I poke him in the ribs before giving him a quick hug. He hands me his gun and kisses me on my cheek.

"Yeah, I know but Koreanman doesn't have the same ring to it." He teases and Glenn shakes his head at us.

"I can hear you, you know?" he says as he throws his pack over his shoulder, ready to go.

"Don't worry Glenn, I'll yell at him later for you. In fact, he gets no food if he keeps it up." I move out of reach as Daryl grabs for me. It's nice to have these moments when we can forget that we're starving to death and barely alive.

Maggie, Glenn and I head off to a convenience store we saw on the way in. Maggie and I follow quietly behind Glenn as we reach the store. She stands watch through the front door as we move through the aisles. Most everything has been picked through but we're able to come up with a few canned goods. Nothing to make a meal out of but food is food at this point. We're also able to come up with some basic medical supplies.

As I round the last aisle, the sound of a door slamming echoes through the store. Glenn and Maggie are at my side in an instant, ready for action. I step carefully over the debris left on the floor from the people who came here before us. When we reach the back room, Glenn takes the lead, followed by Maggie. I stay near the door, watching the store. They're gone for only a few seconds before returning, empty handed.

"Just a walker trying to get through the door back there. It's boarded up but you gotta see what we found." Maggie tells me.

We step back into the stock room, slowly and make our way along the wall. Near the back entrance of the store, there's a door. I push it open and it squeals on the hinges, behind the door there's a set of stairs.

Glenn grabs my arm as I start to head up the stairs and steps in front of me taking the lead.

"I don't want the redneck shooting me in the ass if something happens." He whispers with a smile and slowly turns to climb the stairs. Maggie and I follow behind him. I turn around several times in the dark stairwell, making sure nothing sneaks up on us. When we reach the landing, there is a large apartment. It seems to have been untouched by the hoarders.

As we search, we find cans of chili and spaghetti. Glenn whoops in excitement and we gather as much as we can. I never thought I'd see the day when this would be considered a feast. After filling our sacks, we make our way back down to the store. On the way out the door, something catches my eye. In an aisle labeled stationary, there sits a couple of packs of colored pencils and a sketchpad. I grab them and we head back to the cars.

Daryl, Mason and Tommy reach the cars at the same time. They found a small church with plenty of room in the basement. Mason volunteers to stay with the car until Rick and the rest return with fuel to help them get to the church. We take the rest of the group to get them settled in for the night. Carol and I take Eli and Carl into the church to get them settled in. Lori heads to an empty room and closes the door.

"She's unbelievable." Carol whispers to me as we move down the hall looking in each of the rooms. Apparently the church basement was also used as the community homeless shelter. We're able to find stacks of warm blankets and a few pillows. We also find a few oil lanterns and some oil.

"Don't get me started. She's lucky she's pregnant." I shake my head as I reach up in a closet for another set of blankets.

"Mason said the same thing." She musses.

Watching the two of them grow closer made me feel better about my own happiness. Carol provided comfort to Mason and didn't put up with his shit. This new life had hardened her; the meek woman who caved to her abusive husband was gone. Carol, Rylee and I had become close, like family. Even Hershel's family had grown on us. Maggie and I spent quite a few nights on watch together, joking about Glenn's awkwardness or Daryl's teddy bear interior that only made an appearance when we were alone. The only one not on board with our misfit group was Lori and watching her pull away from Carl and Rick because of that psycho, it was infuriating.

"I feel bad for Rick. He's been good to us. He kept us alive so far and she pushes him away." I shake my head.

"I don't think he minds too much. Lately he seems almost disgusted with her, not that I blame him." Rylee chimes in as she turns the corner to the room we've decided to set up for the boys. The footsteps on the stairs indicate that the group is bringing in the supplies. We hurry to finish so we can help with dinner.

After we finish our meal of uncooked canned spaghetti, the group breaks off into groups. Daryl and Mason are taking the first watch at the front of the church. Jimmy and I decide to take the back door. Tommy and Rylee take the boys to their room. Eli was ecstatic when I handed him the new sketchpad and colored pencils. He and Carl had spent most of their meal planning some sketches out. It was nice to see them at peace.


	28. Chapter 28

**So I have a couple of filler chapters I'll be posting to fill in the gaps between Season 2 & 3. No major action but definitly see some more building of relationships and tension. As always, read and enjoy. Reviews are much appreciated. **

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We take our place at the back stairs leading up to the door. Our conversation is light and casual for the first few hours. It's the first time we've really talked since the farm was over run. Over the last few weeks, we had talked only in passing or when needed. I've missed my best friend. He's lost weight, we all have. His face is slightly paler than usual.

"Do you remember that time we got caught toilet papering Mr. Waters' house? You scrambled up into that tree and got stuck. Isaiah got away but I jumped in the bushes. The old man came out of the house screaming. We would have totally been ok except you had to lose your shoe." He chuckles at the memory.

We lived in a small town and as soon as my shoe dropped to the ground, we knew our night was not going to end well. The chief of police went to school with my parents and he dropped us off at home, filling our parents in on what we had been up to. I thought I was going to be grounded. Instead, my dad told me about the time he got busted doing the same thing. Jimmy's mom freaked out though.

"God it was so simple then. That's all I ever wanted for Eli. Someplace safe, homecoming games, prom, graduation; it all seems so foreign now. I looked forward to grounding him for curfew and pretending to be mad when he came home from a night of mischief. Now I gotta worry about where his next meal is coming from or if something's going to rip him apart." Jimmy stares at me, worried I might cry.

"We're still lucky. We have each other and everyone else. It's more than some people have. I know it's hard to see but I agree with Rick. There has got to be somewhere out there that's safe. What does Daryl say?" he asks

"Honestly, we've barely had a moment to ourselves to say anything. When we do it's usually us watching over Eli or him filling me in on Rick's plan. Guess the honeymoon's over." I give him a sarcastic smile

"I've seen the way he looks at you; it's most definitely not over. You guys will get back on track when we find somewhere to settle down. Who knows, maybe you guys could eventually start a new life, leave this nightmare behind." He shrugs

"Yeah cuz Daryl is the 'marry me, have my baby' type." I laugh at the thought.

"Hey Rylee didn't think he was the 'PDA, hand holding' type either but I've seen him do both with you. Sometimes, it just takes the right person to help someone decide what they really want." He says. "What about you? What do you really want?"

"Are you asking me if I want to get married and have kids?" My head snaps up at the thought. Daryl would never consider that.

"You proposin to my girl Jimmy?" Daryl's drawl wakes me up from my thoughts.

"Just trying to make an honest woman outta her." Jimmy jokes as Daryl leans on his arm against the wall above my head.

"Hey if you figure out how to tame her, she's all yers." Daryl cracks back. I slap his leg playfully before leaning against it.

"Aren't you supposed to be standing watch, protecting us all from the big bad walkers?" I ask.

"T-Dogg and Rick just relieved us. Maggie and Glenn are on their way back here to give you guys a break." He says just as Maggie and Glenn reach the bottom stair.

"Hey, I'll sleep in the room with Eli and Carl. Why don't you guys go find your own room for the night?" Jimmy tells us. I don't need to be told twice. Jimmy heads off to find the boys.

Daryl grabs my hand leading me into an empty dark room. We light a lantern and check out the room. Someone has already built a makeshift bed on the floor; our bags are in the corner. I turn to face him.

"Did you plan this with Jimmy?" I ask accusingly

"Are you kidding me? Of course I did. I needed to get you alone." He growls as he hugs me around the waist, picking me up off the ground and spinning me around. I'm still surprised at his playful side but enjoy it whenever he's willing to let his guard down. When he sets me down, I immediately bury my hands in his hair. It's grown out quite a bit since the last hair cut I gave him. I liked to tease him about it but in reality, I loved it.

"I don't know why you wanted me alone. I'm just going to fall asleep anyway." I duck under his arm and lay down on the bed. He's next to me immediately.

"Like hell ya are. I went through all the trouble of bein romantic, you could at least say thank you." He runs his hand down my back, resting at the small of my back.

"Romantic hu?" I turn over to my back and raise an eyebrow at him. He's lying on his side, using his elbow to prop up his head and look down at me. His fingertips graze the skin along my hips.

"This is the best yer gonna get from me woman. Take it or leave it." He says. He kisses me, pulling me closer to him.

"I guess I'll take it. Not many options left." I giggle as he digs his fingers into my ribs, tickling me.

"So ya gonna tell me what Jimmy and ya were talkin bout before I walked up?" he asked. My smile fades and I turn serious.

"Nope." I answer.

"Really? Cuz Jimmy and I are pretty close, I could go ask him?" an irritated look crosses his face.

"Really Daryl. You don't wanna hear our girl talk do you?" I try to dismiss the conversation but he's not buying it. I sigh, knowing Jimmy will tell him if I don't. "We were talking about the future. He thinks if we can find a safe haven, you and I can start a life, maybe even a family." I tell him. His expression is unreadable.

"That what ya want?" he asks. I don't answer. "Do ya want a life with me?" he asks again.

"Right now, I want to find someplace safe." I tell him, dancing around the question. He leans over me, not allowing me to avoid his gaze.

"Do ya want a life with me?" he asks again, something stirs in me. I still can't answer so I just nod. He doesn't say anything, just stares at me.

"What about you?" I ask, dreading his answer. He squirms a little now that I've turned it around on him.

"I kinda thought we were workin on a life for us; for me and you and Eli." His admission shocks me and I can't help when my jaw drops open. "Don't look at me like that, ya know I love ya."

"Yeah but I also know how hard it was for you to admit that." I tell him.

"But I did so get over it." He says, I giggle at his effort to keep his voice tough.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss me. He skips kissing my lips and focuses on a spot on my neck that he knows drives me insane. It's been awhile since we've had this time alone so the lack of intimacy has made me hungry for it. I give into whatever he wants from me. I arch my back into him and he wraps his arms around me, fumbling with the hook on my bra. Each kiss that he trails along my skin makes me shudder. I completely fall into him and allow him to take me over.

We lay together for hours, exhausted but not wanting to miss out on precious alone time. I trace the outline of some of his scars on his chest and listen to him breathe. He's relaxed but awake. I am lost in thought and find myself giggling a little when I remember the first day we met. He was such a hard-ass then. If someone would have told me that we would be talking about making a life for our family in the future, I probably would have slapped them.

"What's so funny?" he asks

"Just thinking about your grand entrance that day we met you." I teased

"I scared the crap outta ya and Eli. He was gonna fight me to save ya." He chuckles a little at the memory.

"Yeah, I wasn't scared, just pissed off. I have never been afraid of you for some reason Daryl, even when you gave me a reason to be. Maybe because I knew what a pushover you were." I leaned up to place another kiss on his lips just as someone knocked on the door. Daryl growled as he leapt up to answer it. Rick stands in the doorway, out of breath.

"What's the matter?" Daryl asks when he sees Rick's expression.

"Get your stuff and head out the back to the cars. There's a herd of walkers at the front door. We put up some things to block them but it won't last long." His frantic whisper pulls us out of the peace we've enjoyed for a few hours.

"Go get Eli & meet me right back here. I'll get our crap together." Daryl tells me as I throw some clothes on and rush across the hall to get Eli & Carl.

We're ready and gathered at the back door within moments. I drop down to Eli's level.

"You stay right behind your dad. Jimmy and I will be right behind you guys. I know it's not very cool but you two stay close together, I don't care if you have to hold hands to do it. It's dark and we have to be super quiet. Don't even whisper until you're safe in the car." I whisper to the boys who look slightly nervous.

"Hey, ya need to make sure ya get yer ma into the car with you. Keep her safe for me until we're outta here ok." Daryl chimes in, gripping Eli's shoulder to help comfort him. I stand up to protest, to tell him I'm riding with him.

"Don't argue with me AJ, it's too cold and we need to get out quick. Just get in the car and when we stop down the road, we'll look for a truck to throw the bike in and the three of us-" he looks down at Carl's face. "Four of us will ride in that."

We slowly emerge through the door with Rick standing at the corner of the building waving us past while keeping watch. The unmistakable growling from the front of the building is enough to make me nauseous. I don't bother to look at the growing group out front until we were safe in the car with Jimmy and Mason. We pull out into the night, leaving the walkers behind.


End file.
